Category Archives: Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie (5)

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Slagelina (thanks for that nickname Norman) Jolie. They’ve just had her on Radio 4 (a true recipe for cuntitude) and she said that nationalism isn’t a good thing because, it espouses the idea that, quote, “our problems are the only ones that matter.”

Yes, of course they are you silly Femistapo bitch! We elect politicians to govern US and fix OUR problems! They are accountable to US because WE voted them into power, so it is by definition their duty to put OUR needs first! Silly fucking cow.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

Angelina Jolie [2]

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Angelina Jolie is a real cunt. Ambassador of the UN my arse – she keeps buying these african babies so she can say how holy she is for having moral fibre .

Its phoney celebrity cunts like this I can’t stand. I just really hate people like her, and Brangelina (godzilla hybrid maybe?) saying they aren’t going marry until gay marriage is legalised. Fuck off Jolie you dumb attention whore! No-one cares.

Nominated by: Titslapper

Virgin Galactic

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Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo on its first test flight over the Mojave Desert, California

Had Jolie, Bieber, Perry and the loathsome Brand been aboard the craft, forensics would have to spend ages sorting out the ship from the wreckage.

So Sir Richard, when you plan your next interstellar fuck up, please invite some selected guests to play the role of crash test dummies. I humbly suggest:

Eric Pickles (for maximum splat effect)
Jo and Russell Brand
Jihadi John
Justin Bieber

…and as many paedo’s as you can fit in once you evict the illegal immigrants, who will no doubt be stowing away

Nominated by: Captain Japseye

Celebrity culture

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Celebrity culture is utterly cuntish.

I was doing a spot of grocery shopping yesterday and whilst waiting at the checkout, my eyes were drawn to the colourful magazines screaming headlines about people of whom I know nothing (apologies to Mr Chamberlain). Apparently, some girl I’ve never heard of has “a new bikini body” and one of the Kardashians has given her boyfriend the boot. Who gives a fuck? And who spends their money on these crappy rags?

Further evidence:

(1) UN ambassador (!) Victoria Cunting Beckham is going to save babies from AIDS. She’s now a doctor is she? Or Jesus?

(2) Angelina Jolie – the world’s most beautiful woman (only to a sex-starved Albanian shepherd who’s allergic to wool) – is given a knighthood. For what exactly? Making a couple of speeches saying “rape is bad”? Thanks for that, I never knew!

(3) Thousands of women paying – paying, for fuck’s sake – to have their asses increased in size to look like some reality TV bint.

Words fail me. I’ll have to go and lie down in my special room with the rubber wallpaper. Perhaps Sir Limply will lend me some of his medication?

Nominated by : Cunt’s Mate Cunt

Angelina Jolie

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Angelina Jolie is a cunt… Made a dame? For what? Being a Hollywood tosspot? Dropping her knickers every five minutes? Doing crap films? Wrecking homes and marriages? Pathalogical shagging? Buttering up that bald Tory knobend, Willam Hague?

The last one, methinks….

Anyone who works with this wretched Tory government is a cunt anyway, but in the honours list after five minutes? Not only that, also getting a better honour than that Sutton lad: who raised all that money for cancer research, and who is sadly no longer with us? Jolie gets more recognition than young Sutton? What a backscratching, celebrity lickarse shitheap the UK has become… And what a Tinsletown twateratti, knickerless Yank cunt!

That Brad Pitt is a twat as well…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside