An emergency cunting please admin for all the wokes who are currently filling up social meee-ja and WhatsApp with “funny” videos and pictures and generally being smug and self satisfied about Trump’s “defeat”

They may well be laughing on the other side of their faces in a couple of weeks.

What a bunch of smug, gloating cunts.

Enough said.

Nominated by: Cupid Stunt 

“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee speaking. Today I’m privileged to be joined by US President-elect Mr Joe Biden. Thank you for taking the time to speak to us, Mr Biden”.

“Huh? Where am I? Who are you?”.

“Er, this is an interview for IsAC in the UK, Mr Biden”.

“Ukraine huh? You speak good English for a Rooski son”.

“No Mr Biden, not the Ukraine, the UK; that’s England, Scot-“.

“Oh yeah, I heard of that England place. Run by that Elizabeth dame, Meghan Markle’s mother. I know all about it. I never miss an episode of ‘The Crown’ on Netflix. In my position, you gotta keep posted about what’s going on around the world. Ron huh? Say, can I call you Ronnie for short?”.

“Well certainly Mr Biden. Now, perhaps you could give us your reaction at the end of what’s been a long and often very bitter campaign”.

“It’s been tough. A dirty campaign. But hell, we had to beat that son-of-a-bitch George. He was leading the country to perd… perdit… to ruin”.

“George? You surely mean Donald. Bush isn’t the present incumbent, it’s Donald Trump”.

“Yeah, him as well. He’s a very confused guy, unlike me. He’s crazy. I was saying to my wife Valerie just the other night-“.

“Excuse me, but Valerie is your sister. Your wife’s named Jill, I believe”.

“Ha Ha! Darned if those two don’t hornswoggle me all the time! Got it wrong at that campaign event in San Diego too a while back. They switched on me!”.

“It was Los Angeles, Mr Biden. You must admit, your seeming confusion did give your opponent ammunition, allowing him to question your mental faculties”.

“Heck Ravi, I’m telling you that my opponent’s claims that I didn’t know what day of the hour it was were all vicious smears. You won’t find a more mentally alert 87 year old in this whole US of A”.

“You’re 78 Mr Biden. I’d better point that out for our followers. And for yourself, come to think of it. Anyway, what message would you like to send to the American people now that you’re on your way to the White House?”.

“Well, the end of our long darkness is at hand. It’s time to resolve the conflicts that have plagued us under Obama. It’s time to close the rifts, to heal the wounds. Time to go forward as one into the sunlit uplands, one nation, undivided, under God. I pledge to play my part to the full, as sure as my name’s er… ahm…”.

“*Sigh* Mickey Mouse. Ah, there’s a young lady in a nurse’s uniform here, telling me to cut our chat short as it’s time for your warm milk and afternoon nap”.

“Well, I do feel a bit sleepy. But as I go, let me leave you with these final words. As a great patriot once said, ‘let’s make America great again!’. Say, are there any of those chocolate cookies today?”.

“Oh dear. This Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(In the interest of balance after the Donald “Victim” Trump nomination yesterday, here’s Smokin’ Joe. Enjoy! – DA)

Those arrogant, incompetent cunts just don’t get it.

They don’t get, and refuse to accept that the UK is no longer a member of the EU, and therefore has absolutely no obligation to follow their rules or laws.

Their latest act of dipshittery concerns the standards the UK has brought in regarding plant pests. Apparently, our standards on the importation of plant pests is far higher than those across the channel, and the EU is screaming foul play. This has been going on for some time, a few months ago, they gave the UK government until the 20th June to lower the standards that had been implemented, or they would sue.

The government, rightly, told the EU where to shove. Well apparently, the EU have now sent formal notice of impending legal action if the UK doesn’t water down its rules within the next two months.

What part of ‘we are no longer members of your shitty, communist club, so we don’t need have to do what you want anymore’, don’t they understand? Technically, even though we have left the EU, we’re still tied to EU rules until New Years eve, but let’s face it, by the time they actually get around to legal action, their rules will no longer have any relevance to us.

This is yet ANOTHER pathetic attempt at intimidating the UK into giving in to their demands in the farcical trade negotiations (which we should have walked away from two weeks ago, on the 15th of October). Well they can go suck a donkey’s dick. The UK is once again a sovereign nation. The EU has no longer has any influence over us. It’s time for that to fucking sink in.

The EU are shitting themselves that the UK will do well outside the EU. Because it will show other nations that they don’t actually need the EU. When they see that independent UK is doing just fine, other nations will want to leave. Italy being one of them. And do you know what? The way the likes of Barnier, Verhofstadt, Von Der Leyen, Macron and Merkel have behaved over the past four and a half years, I hope the EU crumbles to dust. They fucking deserve it.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Acceptable on dusky Indian wenches.

Decades ago, I had a fling with a bejeweled, bangled pocket Venus Sikh girl called Surinder Singh who wore one and drove me wild.

However, they are not so great on western women. I had a gorgeous Latina secretary once who wore one from time to time but spoiled my day when it was ring a ding day.

Even on the ringless days, I could not help but notice the hole in the side of her pert little nose when I happened to lean close to her fragrant face and those dark eyes to make a point.

However, the reason for this post is that I saw an interview the other night with a guy called Jack Dorsey who is the CEO of Twitter He looks to be in his mid to late 40s and has longish hair and a thick beard but, to my disgust, had a nose ring. How can a grown man who is not Reg Dwight demean himself by having his nose stapled so he can display a ring? I´m waiting to read his tweet when he moans that a mugger ripped off half his face when he grabbed it and stole off into the night.

Nominated by: Mr Polly 

I’ve had it ! How much longer can the media & all these bleeding heart fuckwits keep whingeing about these F.S.Meals ?

Marcus Rashford …. Man U footballer Marcus Rashford…..’Marcus Rashford’ …. “campaigner Marcus Rashford” …
Marcus Rashford might hav4 come from a ‘council estate’ background, but he now ‘earns’ £875,000/month to kick a ball. He has no qualms that Man United sell home & away shirts (not full strips) at £65 each – which are sown in some far east sweatshop by a girl earning £50/month.

Local TV news reporting has gone into ‘overdrive’ …
“Local sports clubs are doing there bit to make packed lunches available for needy children” ……
John & Mary are retired schoolteachers from Worcester….”We are making sandwiches to help starving children” – WHY FFS ? ? !
Where are these ‘starving’ children ? There are regularly kids up my street. None seem to doubles for the ‘starving’ kids in Africa, but are actually chubby little fuckers (who don’t live in the adjacent 10 houses), guzzling cans of Fanta, kicking footballs into parked cars, while Mum & Dad are nowhere go be seen.

Who are these poor families that ‘can’t afford to feed their kids’ ?
You mean you can’t afford to keep sending them down the chippie, KFC & Macdonalds ? Struggling to pay for Pizza deliveries 3 days a week
a loaf of bread & jar of jam = £1
Frozen veg > £1 / Fish fingers = £1 / Frozen chips = £1
Maybe not having the latest iPhone, Sky sports, a new car on finance & 40 fags a day would help spread the £ family budget ?

And now on mainstream media (SKY/BBC/etc)…’Experts’…..
“The governments failure to show compasion is putting families into ‘DICKENSIAN’ levels of poverty” – really ? can’t see mudlarks in tattered rags
“Some women have been forced to Prostitute themselves to be able to feed their children” – are you fucking serious with this shit ? ! are we following Donald’s example now & just making shit up to get attention ?

If things are this bad, there’s a simple solution – No more child benefit paid in £sterling. A new system of vouchers that can be exchanged for ‘proper’ food & childrens clothes.
No Fags / booze / scratch cards / take-aways / Netflix / Sky / sweets-chocs.
I’m confident such a policy will be well received…..

Nominated by: Lord of the Rings

…endorsed by: Gutstick Japseye

Seconded. I already pay for their housing, their food, their schooling, their medical care, and for the army of social workers and care givers, police and justice personnel. No even more food because fags booze and scratch cards are more important to the parents of these kids.
Its bollocks anyhow, as the mother and child I saw whining at the government for starving them during the school holidays were fat as fuck. The mother made Diane Abbott look anorexic, and the child looked like something dropped from a Lancaster to breach a dam.
Fuck them. Can’t feed em, don’t breed em.

..and this from The Captain

Free school meals is turning into a proper cunt.

That Rashford cocksmoker is crowing about ‘over 7 million meals’ delivered in a week. Jesus titty fucking Christ, listen to what you just said… 1 meal a day (because that’s all it is) for 1 million kids, EVERY DAY.

Congratulations Libtards, you have succeeded in turning England into a third world shithole. 1 million kids getting fed by charity tells me that society has bigger, much bigger problems. No amount of taxpayers money is going to fix that. I would love to know the ethnic make up of those in receipt of these free meals, because which ever way it goes it’s fucking tragic.

…and although not directly related, it does cover the same kind of ground, courtesy of Mary Hinge

Hygiene Poverty.

I had an email from Boots today,inviting me to donate to a charity called The Hygiene Bank.

Their mission it seems is to encourage folk to donate deodorants,shampoo etc to be distributed to those too poverty stricken to keep themselves clean. There must of course be people who are too disabled, frail or ill to keep clean and a very few who can’t afford sufficient toiletries so I am not criticising them.

But you can buy showel gel,soap,deodorants and so on for less than a pound each,especially the supermarkets own brands. Isn’t it about time some cunts got their priorities right and a bit of self-respect instead of being on the fucking cadge all the time? I got a paper round at 12 so I could buy personal things myself.

I must make a list of everything I can’t afford and write to my MP about the injustice of it all. Christ on a crutch,what a load of old wank.