(Donald, hard at work – DA)

“Infamy ! Infamy ! They’ve all got it in for me !” Yes, the ‘man?’ the world loves to hate just for his usual lies, has outdone himself and left media, newstations & historians speechless, as he slags off the very democratic electoral system that put him in office for the past 4 years.

In general, Don ‘knows’ the election is a huge fraud, that everyone is in on, & sleepy Joe & the democrats are stealing the presidency from him, when he’d already ‘won’ the election on Nov 4th.
so…
1) The ‘fraud’ is being carried out by Democrats, big business, big media & the rich elite.
2) How could I be 500,000 votes ahead on election day & now my lead’s being whittled away by all these ‘illegal’ votes ‘they’ are finding – well Donny, you knew all along that post votes were being made. You decided to call them illegal & told your fans to vote on the day. You might still be getting Repub votes if you hadn’t told them not to postal vote.
3) They are counting these votes secretly & won’t let us near. Repubs are using ‘binoculars’…WTF ! Debunked – all votes witnessed independently, video’d, CCTV, public viewing galleries.
4) Stop counting the votes ! they’re all illegal if not done & counted on the day – many postal votes could have been counted before, but REPUBLICANS passed a law so they couldn’t count till Election day over.
5) Keep counting the votes – where they are for me, not Joe.
6) Trot out my mob lawyer Gulliani & my useless family to makes false claims & frivelous law suites
7) Republicans nowhere to be seen – in fact Republican Senate & congress calling for all votes to be counted ‘as the constitution & state laws require
8) Rile up all the gullible Trump supporters “Fraud” “stealing the election” – doesn’t matter if it leads to division, distrust, violence, riots, deaths. America doesn’t matter, as long as I have a reason why I was cheated.
9) US soldiers, farmers, workers, nurses, doctors, all the ‘good’ Americans voted for Trump – Rich, elite, liberal, big money all ‘bad’ Americans voted for Democrats.
10) If the election is ‘rigged’, how come you got record voters Trump ? & how come you’ve won a lot of close counts ? if it was rigged, Dems wouls have got 270EC on election day & wouldn’t be waiting for count to finish.

You might be a selfish Ego Maniac, but please don’t trash your own country & get your own voters killed by making wild accusations, telling lies, wasting everyone’s time with pointless legal cases & playing a victim while America burns.

Nominated by: Lord of the Rings

I was sat one evening back in August in my study, doing a few bits of paperwork before retiring with Lady Quimson to the bedroom, when I heard a groaning sound coming from the bottom of the garden that backs onto an abandoned quarry.

As I got closer the noise became louder and louder until an “aaaaggggghhhh yeah” came from the bushes.

I shouted “hoy ya dirty fuckers” with that a group of men and women came out of the bushes on the other side of the track, tits like a 15 year old friesian cow dangled down, as well a tawdry todgers the size of drawing pins. (Anyone from IsaC perchance? – DA)

I mean don’t these cunts have houses to fuck in, why do they have to perform sex acts at the bottom of my garden the selfish, thoughtless cunts!!!! (So did you errr.. join in then? – DA)

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

I nominate that stupid thick boxer cunt Anthony Joshua, you know, the racist cunt who was saying in the summer ‘don’t buy from white people’.

Now the cunt is advertising google, a tax avoiding tech giant under the guise of ‘help local businesses’

How stupid does one cunt need to be?

Deserves a cunting in my opinion

Nominated by: Oh cunt off

Channel 5 are deserving of a nomination, for being smug, woke, blackwashing cunts. I’ve just found out (30th October), that they’re doing a show about the life of Henry VIII. For reasons of wokeness and to show how stunning and brave they are, his second wife, Anne Boleyn, will be played by a black actress. I’m pretty sure that there were exactly NO black people in England during the Tudor period, especially as members of the aristocracy, so why tell lies about history? (Cultural Appropriation, surely? – DA)

Can you imagine the shitstorm from their fellow members of the Leftwaffe if they did a show on the life of Rosa Parks, with Emily Blunt playing Rosa? You’d be able to hear the screeching on Mars.

FUCK OFF Channel 5, you woke cunts. Fuck right off!

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

(More info here Anne Boleyn was Black – DA)

..and seconded by:mystic maven 

Channel 5 deserve a nomination, as they too have now jumped on the woke bandwagon. They have cast a black actress in the role of Anne Boelyn. To balance things, they will no doubt be making a programme about Mandela or Martin Luther King with Liam Neeson in the title role.

A yank vocal virus that has spread with unparalleled rapidity through the brain drool of BBC presentahs and across TV land generally. It goes like this:

Presentah: Mr Saville why were you allegedly banned from several hospital mortuaries after being found shagging dead old ladies?

Mr Saville : That’s a great question.

Unfortunately the phrase had not crossed over then but my goodness it is now in full play during the present little local difficulty.

Old gent in a care home on a hospital trolly stuffed full of tubes and only able to gurgle a few words with great effort while being interviewed by a tall slap head BBC cunt well behind a remote zoom mike on a tripod and wearing a Robocop mask
.
Old gent (in between gasps) : I don’t give an arse about being the first Covid patient to receive a Christmas card from the Prime Minister but you tell me why you TV fucks never ask why old cunts like me are despatched out of hospital after midnight to die in shitty corridors like this?

Presentah: That’s a great question

Old gent : And no nurse I don’t want an injection to calm me down and send me to sleep!

Presentah (after about 30 seconds): Ok nurse I think we’ll end the interview there. He seems to be dead. Why did the old cunt die so soon after the injection?

Nurse : That’s a great question

“That’s a great question” is used to manufacture a pause so the Presentah can try to think of an answer or in most cases just plough on with the interview script regardless and divert the TV attention span generation from matters of embarrassment..

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke