Broken Christmas Lights [6] And Christmas Crazies

Brief cunting here. Twice now I have bought new Christmas lights only to find, after much exasperating untangling, that they don’t work. I know, I know – you are supposed to plug them in and turn them on BEFORE you untangle them and hang them up, but our desire to see the new magical illuminations overrides that! 😀

I have banned the cunt that is Sellotape. I’ve used brass hooks to hang the lights this year, much better! 😀

No need for a link, just add this clip of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…

(3 minutes)

Merry Christmas! 😀

Nominated by: Gordon

And on the subject of Christmas lights and decorations, check this out Gutstick Japseye

As soon as the imported overblown cash cow that Halloween has become is over, the Christmas cunts come out of the woodwork.

I don’t mean the corporate cunts who make a living out of it, I’m on about the balloon heads who go Christmas mental, and will drag out the festive season way beyond what is in any way reasonable.

I’m taking about those infantile cunts that tell you how many ‘sleeps’ it is until the big day, who put up the tree way before December, who cover their houses and gardens with all manner of cheap flashing tat, apparently to out Christmas anyone around them.

This is helped by having channels dedicated to showing Christmas films 24/7 from the middle of October. Who the fuck watches this shit?

And woe betide you question such behaviour, as then the patented cunt retorts of Bah humbug and Scrooge are thrown at you like you are the grumpy cunt, not the childlike mentalist.

There’s a house down the road from me, and within days it will be covered in ten foot inflatable Christmas shit, and enough lights that you could see it from fucking Pluto.
And they don’t have any kids, so what the fucking fuck?

I’m looking forward to the Christmas period, works do, time off spending it with family and friends, falling asleep on the settee after one rum too many.

There will be no glitter and tat in my house, I like it to be an oasis of respite from the commercialised tat fest that it has become, and for those cunts who think I’m a saddo or a killjoy for not behaving like a fucking imbecile, I will be enjoying myself, as I do throughout the rest of the year, as I don’t need a festival that is being dragged out as long as winter to be happy.

Child & Animal Neglect

This report of a couple jailed for child neglect will turn your stomach.

MSN Link.

How, in the name of all that is holy, could this situation have passed unnoticed for such a long period of time? Surely, if they were receiving such a sum in benefits, someone should have been to the home to check their claims were valid?

It’s almost beyond believe, those poor children, how can they ever recover?

Can you imagine the stench from keeping 36 dogs, Christ on a crutch, they deserve 5 years pokey for that alone, never mind the poor kiddies!

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

(To a lesser degree these cunts were also pocketing £7k/month in benefits! – Day Admin)

New Cars

Cars, they deserve a cunting.

I’ve recently bought a new car, a small but roomy little bugger, very cheap to run too. But..the fucking price of them now. The prices are sky high and don’t get me started on those effing electric cars, ludicrous amounts they are, for the privilege of driving a few miles then spending ages looking for somewhere to plug the cunt in. At least I can fill mine up easily.

Also, let’s talk about technology. For fucks sake, do we really need what’s rammed into them nowadays. Those massive computer screens on some look awfully distracting, mine has a little screen with some basic shit on it and that’s bad enough. At least mine has separate controls for the heater, most are now built into the screens so it’s a bastard to alter on the move.

I can see lots of accidents, ”I’ve no idea how I hit that bus up the chuff officer, one minute I was scrolling though menus and submenus to turn the vibrating ball sack feature off after I’d shot my bolt, the next I’m looking at the arse end of a bus” Fucking barmy, and not needed.


Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO

(Never fear: give it a few more years and most of us will be using horse and carts – Day Admin)


Saunas are abominations.

Why would anyone want to pay £15.00 to be trapped in a tiny steaming hot hell hole, sweating buckets, in close contact with other humans sweating grease, ooze and dirt out of their bodies. What is the fun in sitting in an unbearably hot room, so thick with acrid humidity that one can’t breathe?

This hellish health treatment originated in Finland. After the war, German soldiers brought the habit back to Germany and Austria, where it became popular in the second half of the 20th century. Compared to fighting in a Nazi battalion, I suppose it would seem pleasant – but only marginally so. Those dastardly Finns have even installed a sauna in a ferris wheel in Helsinki. It’s called the SkySauna. My definition of hell is to be trapped in the Sky Sauna, 200 feet above the grim Helsinki cityscape, my life ebbing away in a cloud of boiling acrid steam, with half a dozen overweight sweating Finns. In what parallel universe could this even be considered desirable?

My wife loves saunas and would like to install one in the house. I’d prefer an extension to my garage. At least there I can breathe in beautiful petrol fumes – vastly preferable to a sauna.

Saunas are cunts.

The Grauniad Link.

Nominated by: MMCM

The Pussy Pass

A thorough labia cunting for “the pussy pass”. What that you think. Its the uneven and wildly disparate result of events in a men vs women setting.

Daily Fail Link.

Had this been done by a bloke the sentence would have been a bit more than a slap on the wrist. Time after time we see the same criminal offences committed by women as men but with massively different sentences and outcomes.

Is it because these slags have a civic duty (of sucking off as many blokes as possible) and need to be not sent down ?

Nominated by: Toxicbob