Women hanging abaaaaht after sex.

Picture the scene I’m knackered after running around earning my I’ll gotten gain and generally being a dodgy cunt and I remember my current Mrs is coming over for dinner and sex. I wanted to cancel but I knew I’d want some sex etc.

I pick her up in the Audi for which she was grateful and we have dinner and chat shite…I shoot my load twice over the evening and start thinking to myself ‘I wish you would fuck off now’…she stays and fucking stays wanting kisses every 5 minutes and is generally ruining my chilled aaaaht evening. We start watching a film and it drags on and on and she is still here around midnight.

I end up dropping her home in shorts and a t-shirt on a cold December night so I can get half an hour to myself before bed. Of course if you all knew what I looked like you would understand her wanting to spend as much time with me as possible but my time is precious and I don’t like people hanging abaaaaht, especially in my flat. I’ll go to hers next time. (Bollocks! You are John Major, and I claim my 5 quid – DA)

Finally a message to all women when a man has shot his load fuck off after an hour…when he has shot his load twice fuck off right away and leave him in peace.
Go fuck yourselves.

Nominated by: Black and White Cunt

Never seen it as cant stand the salad dodger star or this sort of twee shite. I mentioned it in my recommendation of the great Xmas schedules.
But it has exceeded expectations. The fat bastard will take the knee in honour of Chiggun George, the saintly armed robber.

Fuck me woke.

(More here – NA)

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

And seconded by Sixdog Vomit:

Dawn French and the Vicar of Dibley. Resurrection of this show in three ten minute specials to cheer us up in lockdown will include a sermon about BLM with Dawn taking a knee for the cause……..
Nothing new here eh Dawn, must of got on both knees for Lenny a few times before he kicked you into touch for a younger model.
Maybe this belongs in the BBC section but it’s aimed squarely at Dawn and her black meat matters obsession.

An emergency ruin my festive season cunting for Qantas the Australian airline.
According to these cunts you will need the vaccine to fly on their planes.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/world-australia-55048438

…and so it begins.

Who the fuck are these cunts to dictate that to the people who keep them in business? Apparently Australia have had some of the strictest lockdowns and now this, only a matter of time before the rest of the cunt flight operator’s adopt the same rules.
Alway fancied going to Australia for a bit of BBQ, fine women and shite beer but they can now go fuck themselves with a boomerang.
I’ve had enough of this bollocks.

Go fuck yourselves.

Nominated by: Black and White Cunt

I know it is not generally the done thing to say bad things about vegetables, but carrots are an exception that I think may well deserve a cunting.

Hard orange fuckers that take longer to cook than many other vegetables and can lead to overcooking of others eg sprouts. My Nan always used to say that they “added colour to the plate”. What a piss poor recommendation.

Another thing we we were told as nippers was that eating carrots would improve our eyesight. That turned out to be bollocks and just a trick to make us eat them.

At school we were once encouraged to grow a carrot from a carrot top placed in a saucer of water. That was crap too. Mine and my mate Bob’s carrots just rotted.

As if this list were not enough, I saw an ad on TV the other night wherein a fucking carrot was giving advice on how to shop safely during Christmas. The cunt was even wearing a fucking mask so that it din’t get Covid 19. Who in the name of all that is holy takes safety advice from a bastard carrot? Maybe that retard Hancock?

Fuck carrots, I am sticking to parsnips and swede when it comes to root veg this Christmas.

Nominated by: Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea

The International Olympic Committee are cunts.

Announced today (Dec 7th) was the inclusion of break dancing in the 2024 Olympic Games.

https://www.bbc.com/sport/olympics/55223554

I’ll let that sink in.

“It’s going to be great for breaking as it gives us more recognition as a sport,” British breakdancer Karam Singh told BBC Sport. Who else?

Meanwhile squash, a real sport which is fuckling hard, requiring huge reserves of fitness, stamina and no little skill missed out on being included.

I’ll let that sink in.

No doubt by the time the 2028 games comes around, there’ll be an Olympic event for fried chiggun’ eating.

If they could combine spinning around on your head waving your legs in the air WHILE eating fried chiggun’, then they might be on to something. That has huge comedy potential.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

…and seconded by: Hard Brexit Cunt

I am going to nominate Olympic break-dancing.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/olympics/2020/12/07/breakdancing-joins-olympics-ioc-seeks-youth-crowd/

This pastime – it is not a fucking sport – is being added to the events which will be held at the 2024 Olympics in Paris.

The Paris Olympic Organising and the IOC are a bunch of cunts for adding this display of epilepsy simulation by wannabe spastics to the Olympic programme. Also, breakdancers are a bunch of cunts for gyrating like a bunch of morons to fucking crap hip-hop ‘music’.

The article says that: “Thomas Bach, the IOC president, said that the decision followed a “clear priority” of the IOC board to introduce sports that were “particularly popular among the younger generation” and that the IOC also took into consideration the need to urbanise the Olympic movement.”

Breakdancing is not a fucking sport and if it is “popular among the younger generation” it proves that modern young people are fucking idiots. I also hate this term “urban/urbanise” in this context – it means people who want to deal in drugs and dress like drug dealers as one ISAC cunter mentioned recently in a cunting of JD Sports.

Breakdancers, the IOC, the Paris Olympic Organising Committee and the frogs are all cunts.

...and another one, this time from Cuntfinder General 

Break Dancing as an Olympic Sport.

The modern olympics have come a long way haven’t they? From Much Wenlock to the huge, corporate monster of the new millennium.

From truly dedicated amateurs, to millionaire professional sportsmen.

It gets worse-Break Dancing. For Fucks Sake. I imagine this is linked to the current black-ass kissing fuckwittery.

I have a suggestion to the Olympic committee-why not go the whole hog. A perfect event for our BLM chums:

Modern pentathlon- break dancing, spray paint graffiti , moped mugging, 100m with stolen trainers and human beatbox.

Cuntfoolery for cunts.