The government have announced that from April, its thick as pig shit citizens are to receive mobile phone alerts for serious weather events, such as flooding, or even possibly terror incidents.
All sounds noble enough and it will apparently ‘save lives’.
Yet we all know where this is leading when they use the word ‘initially’.
‘Initially’ it will only be used when there is risk to life, but you can bet your bollocks it’ll morph into risk to health or the environment.
Our phones will be emitting a siren like wail whenever the temperature drops below zero, or there’s a 10 percent chance of a centimetre of snow, or if the thermometer goes over 20, or it hasn’t rained for a fortnight.
Yes we can alter the alerts in our settings, but big brother strongly advises we don’t, which probably means they’ll change it so we can’t.
Apparently it’s used by the USA, Japan and the Netherlands and good luck to them but the last time I checked, we aren’t at risk from tornadoes, tsunamis or earthquakes.
I look forward to my phone howling advice on applying sun block at 3am.
What a load of cunt!
Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery.
