Here’s a cheerful little story to brighten up a rather grey and chilly day. Allow me to introduce the man only known as ‘Double Cross’, that’s ‘XX’ for short.

Mr XX is an Iranian, who was convicted of rape back in 2001, and sentenced to deportation in 2005. It will, I’m sure, come as absolutely no surprise to cunters to learn that as of 2023, the arsewipe is still in the UK.

He’s successfully appealed against the deportation on the grounds that, er, he could face the death penalty in Iran because he is a convicted rapist. Add in a bit of an insurance policy to the appeal by claiming that he’s a dissident who (seemingly spuriously) also worked for the UK security services, and Bob’s yer uncle; it’s the perfect gift to any grifter brief to cash in on yooman rights grounds.

So there you go. We’re lumbered with yet another foreign no good, who’s no doubt been well funded through legal aid to fight his deportation. What’s the bet that the cunt’s also being housed and given benefits at our expense? Let’s face it, he’s hardly likely to be making any useful contribution to society is he?

Most days I feel as though I just want to give up. We’ve been fucking double crossed alright.

The Sun

Nominated by Ron Knee.

The government have announced that from April, its thick as pig shit citizens are to receive mobile phone alerts for serious weather events, such as flooding, or even possibly terror incidents.

All sounds noble enough and it will apparently ‘save lives’.
Yet we all know where this is leading when they use the word ‘initially’.

‘Initially’ it will only be used when there is risk to life, but you can bet your bollocks it’ll morph into risk to health or the environment.

Our phones will be emitting a siren like wail whenever the temperature drops below zero, or there’s a 10 percent chance of a centimetre of snow, or if the thermometer goes over 20, or it hasn’t rained for a fortnight.

Yes we can alter the alerts in our settings, but big brother strongly advises we don’t, which probably means they’ll change it so we can’t.

Apparently it’s used by the USA, Japan and the Netherlands and good luck to them but the last time I checked, we aren’t at risk from tornadoes, tsunamis or earthquakes.
I look forward to my phone howling advice on applying sun block at 3am.
What a load of cunt!

Bbc news

Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery.

Town planners, are cunts eh?

What the Holy Hell is this supposed to be? See link below.

Lucky Swindon, I envy you, not! I’m absolutely gobsmacked at this.
Just build one massive roundabout, like the Wall of Death, otherwise known as Park
Square, in Sheffield, and put a sequencing traffic light system in.

What fucking idiot thought this was workable, and what cunt signed it off?
P45s for all.

Mirror

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

I know right? What the fuck now!
A number of people identify as “not of this world” believing that they have been sent here to heal humanity or some shit. One indicator is possessing a certain combination of personality traits and mental disorders.
It seems one mental disorder that is required is to believe you are a “Starseed”.
Many questions come to mind like Do you know or not if you’re sent from beyond this world?
Or If you’re here to heal the planet, why do you have mental disorders?
How is this different from Scientology?
As a local cunt I would like to encounter one of these visitors and find out more first hand. I’ll start asking around the nearby smoke shops that sell CBD and glass pipes.
Maybe an Austin, TX homeless camp.
Anyway, read the link if you’re eager to learn more.

Mail online

Nominated by Meat Curtains.

Just exactly how heinous does a crime have to be, before life actually means life?

Now, this is just my personal opinion, but some people are just beyond hope of rehabilitation. look at Paul Gadd for example. They simply cannot control their selves.

I really think we need to bring back the Death sentence. It would give me peace of mind knowing that the monsters are dead, and not under my bed.

Spalding Today

Nominated by Jezzum Priest.