Yesterday I was listening to ‘Harvest’, one of my favourite albums by the great Neil Young. There’s one song however that I always skip, and that’s ‘A Man Needs A Maid’, an overwraught, over-orchestrated effort that just gets on my nerves.

Later I got to thinking about how often it’s the case that there’s one dud on a lot of my favourite albums; that one song that’s just inferior due to weak writing, or over-production, or incompatability with the overall mood or ‘feel’ of things.

Take The Beatles’ ‘White Album’, that cornucopia of sounds which is a landmark in their catalogue. Or rather, just take ‘Revolution 9’, all fucking four hours of it. I know that some regard this as a sort of ‘avant garde’ piece, but I regard it as out-of-place snash. Oh and as this is a double album, let’s point the finger at ‘Wild Honey Pie’, a piece of pure McCartney crap which at least has the virtue of being short.

How about ‘Voices of Old People’, that burst of chuntering on the otherwise enduring ‘Bookends’ from Simon and Garfunkel? Okay, I know it could be argued that it helps to establish the album’s theme, but once heard, forever skipped.

The Smiths ‘Meat Is Murder’ would be perfect, were it not for that darned title track, with its abattoir noises and dragging, tub-thumping moralising. Nobody doubts the sincerity of Morrissey’s commitment but honestly, it makes me want to go out and eat a big, juicy steak.

I appreciate that The Police’s ‘Mother’ from ‘Synchronicity’ is a bit of a Marmite track; so love it, some hate it. I wouldn’t say that I hate it so much as find that its inclusion jars and upsets the ‘flow’ of the album. Would have been much better as a quirky ‘b’ side I’d say.

I don’t want wear out my welcome so I’ll conclude with one final example. ‘Bringing It All Back Home’ remains my favourite Dylan album, an almost perfect synthesis of his acoustic and electric styles. Almost.The bad apple in this collection is the oh so pretentious ‘Gates of Eden’. ‘Of war and peace the truth just twists its curfew gull it glides, upon four-legged forest clouds the cowboy angel rides’. I’ve seen it described as Dylan’s most ‘surreal’ song. I suppose that’s one way of putting it.

Of course this is very subjective; one man’s musical meat is another man’s poison.
But I’d bet that when you think about it, there’s that album with THAT track on it that irritates the life out of you. Not a matter of life and death; just a bit of a cunt.

Nominated by Ron Knee.
No Dud tracks on the cover picture album C.A. or are there?

Cunts who have toilets, primarily used by guests and visitors, which don’t flush properly.

The Cunts are fully aware that the toilet mechanism is malfunctioning and they can’t be arsed to fix it or have it professionally repaired. It doesn’t’ bother them as they have access to a fully functioning Crapper elsewhere in the house. After disappearing for ages whilst trying to flush away even a simple piss, the shithouse owners have a smug look on their faces when the innocent victim returns.

The situation is magnified exponentially if the deposit of foul age is more solid and abundant then a mere piss.
When reporting a difficulty, the Cunts always reply that they have known about it for a long time, but haven’t bothered to get it fixed. Even friends and family are to be designated as CUNTS if they pull this stunt on their guests and visitors.

Nominated by Sir Cuntalot.

I didn’t expect the headline ‘ Man abducted and sexually assaulted schoolgirl while dressed as woman.’

Reading this you’d think that this bloke just popped a dress on to go hunting child victims. Nope, this bloke identifies as a woman and for the last few years as far as the BBC has been concerned that makes him a woman. Now though as he’s committed a sex offence he reverts back to being a man.

Is this because only a man could commit the crimes? If he’d had surgery and committed the crime would he magically become a man again?

The identity politics biased reporting falls flat in the case of reality doesn’t it? A man is a man, in a dress or in a business suit a man is a man. The LBGT+ community own this offender just as much as they own any other ‘trans woman’ now fuck off!

Waiting for the LBGT+ cunts to kick off at the BBC for misgendering and dead naming this cunt.

It’s going to be a long wait I suspect.

Bbc news

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit.

 

These cunts have spent the last 3 months digging up nearly every road in my village. Constant temporary traffic lights that take forever to fuckibg change. Quite often you will get through one set of lights, turn the corner and be confronted by another set that, that you have to wait another 10 minutes to change. Constant fucking noise of jackhammers and stilhl saws going at every hour of the day. I’ve had enough.

Then to top that off the cunts have spent the last 2 weeks sending round sales reps and posting shit junk mail through the door about how I can ‘supercharge my internet’. Fuck off, I’ve already got broadband and it’s adequate enough for what I want. If I want a new provider I’ll sort it out myself. Needless to say if I ever do change these two cunty companies are already off the list!

Not on

business-live

Nominated by LaughingGravy, link by Jeezum Priest.

A cunting for Wiltshire Council in particular and potholes in general.
I was mildly amused by a report of some old duck who goes around filling potholes with water, floating rubber ducks in it and sending the results to the council, etc, to highlight the local pothole problem.

Well, I say local but the problem is national, unless you live in Fulwood, Sheffield.
I don’t know about anyone else, but South Yorkshire and Derbyshire have been given umptie million £££’s to tackle the problems, but I’ve seen precious little improvement. Lots of new 20mph speed limit signs, and massive potholes.
This lad is a genius, it worked, well done.
Hang your heads in shame, Wiltshire Council, you got cunted good style!

Bbc news

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.