I am sick and fucking tired of cunts who seem to think it’s OK to hammer on your door trying to flog you something and/or leave flyers/business cards attached to your front door.

With spring approaching and summer just around the corner, bastard shit brained companies think it’s acceptable to employ morons to go door-to-door trying to drum up new business. Landscaping, tree pruning, pressure washing, roofing, sprinkler system installation, you name it. Not interested.

If they can’t get you to answer the door, they’ll leave flyers or business cards attached to your front door. I have a massive problem with that. If you’re a burglar looking for a house to break into, you’re going to want to choose one where nobody’s home. Much less hassle that way since many homeowners are armed, including me! A sure sign no one is home is fucking flyers and business cards stuck to your front door and clearly visible from the street. Free local newspapers lying on the front path or lawn is another sign. We get those too. Didn’t ask for them. Don’t want them. And yet some cunt drives down the street and throws this crap at your house like they’re entitled to do so. I’ve tried to get that shit to stop too and nothing works. Bastards! This shit is compromising the security of my home and these cunts don’t give a shit!

I’ve placed signs on my front door before saying, “No flyers, business cards or solicitation of any kind. You are trespassing. Get off my property”. And they still leave their flyers!!!

Sometimes the flyer or business card includes an email address. Big mistake. I sign them up for all sorts of weird and wonderful websites and mailing lists. These cunts are usually illegal immigrants from Mexico. For some reason, Mexicans hate black people. Not sure why, but it amuses me to sign them up for BLM newsletters, Black Panther social events, etc. Who knew BLM would be useful for something? I always use their business ‘phone number when signing them up too. They’re usually cell ‘phones so it’s good to know they’ll be spammed as well.

This is just another form of entitlement where people think they can do what they like and you should just put up with it. There was a time when people’s property boundaries were respected and you only approached someone’s front door if you had a legitimate or prearranged reason for being there. Nowadays your front door is just another advertising hoarding for anyone and everyone who wants to use it. This should be illegal. Cunts.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

One of the many reasons your average American weighs 4 tons is because they’re fucking lazy. This manifests itself in a variety of ways, one of which is their refusal to maintain their own lawns.

Round my way, most of the houses are visited by a bunch of Mexican illegal immigrants – sorry, I meant dedicated, law abiding, high quality landscaping artists – armed with a variety of lawn tending equipment. Industrial sized ride-on lawn mower (petrol driven), strimmer (petrol driven) and my personal favourite, the petrol powered leaf blower.

These cunts show up and cause the most almighty racket, oblivious to the fucking disturbance and nuisance they are causing. The windows in the average American home serve a single purpose. You can look through them. That’s it. Good at keeping heat in and cold out? Nope. Good at sound insulation? Nope. So when these arse clowns show up across the street with their lawn implements from hell, it sounds like you’ve got a fucking leaf blower in the room with you. And of course their mere presence sets off the fucking dogs left out in people’s gardens so we have to listen to those cunts barking their heads off too.

You’d think they’d be quick so as to reduce the noise and disruption to the neighbourhood. Nope. In these ‘enlightened’ times when the planet is about to implode due to fossil fuel usage, you’d think they’d use quieter electric powered tools. Nope. Use a broom to quietly sweep up the grass clippings from paths, the road, etc.? Nope, leaf blower. Windy day so clearing up is practically impossible? Nope, leaf blower. Rainy day so the clippings stick to paths, etc. No problem, fire up the leaf blower.

Spring has not sprung yet round my way. Everyone’s lawns are brown and dormant. Nothing has grown since the temperatures dropped in November last year. So there’s really nothing to cut, yet. Does that deter these bastards? Nope. They’re out there causing mayhem, running their mowers but not actually cutting anything because the grass is too short. Not edging anything because there’s nothing to edge and blowing leaves and dust around with fucking leaf blowers to help justify their existence. And the homeowners are paying them to do it! Who’s the bigger cunt here?

Like many people, I now work from home so my house is now my office. I don’t need these cunts disturbing my peace and quiet while I do my work which, as it happens, requires a high degree of concentration and attention to detail. If the locals cannot be bothered to cut their own lawns quickly and efficiently with minimal fuss on a Sunday morning like normal human beings, then I should be allowed to introduce a couple of friends to play with their lawn crews. Smith and Wesson.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

I would like to nominate polishing fat turds for a cunting.

I was recently in Germany on business and whilst waiting for the sky train to Dusseldorf airport (that part of Germany is a shit hole full of Turkish cunts by the way, avoid at all costs, honestly I’d rather go to Middlesbrough) and what do I see standing in front of me? Two “plus size” land whales checking their make-up and doing their hair for a selfie next to the sky train.

Walking (waddling) evidence that it is in fact impossible to polish a turd unless it’s been fossilised. Your hair and make-up don’t matter one jot when you’re as fat and ropey as Jabba the Hut after a monster sesh on the broon ale and kebabs.

These horror shows then have the nerve to complain when Asda can’t find a sailing ship canvas big enough to cover their arses.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/fashion-news/asda-hit-complaints-dressing-plus-23199201

Bad enough we have to literally orbit these cunts in the street!

Nominated by: Dr Geordie Cunt, I presume

Seconded by: Get Fucked Woke Cunts

As people are sooo fat do they really have gravitational pull. Is this why cyclists and cars and pedestrians have accidents. Should they affect insurance quotes.

the story continues.