Enforcement Officers

Enforcement Officers are cunts.

Enforcement Officers, or as I call them ‘Plastic Policepeople’ are effectively a ‘high & fucking mighty’ bunch of cunts!

The word ‘enforce’ surely means ‘You will do,’ rather than ‘encourage,’ which I would prefer to be used. Cuntfrontational is all I see, as the Railway Enforcement Officers, strut around in their hi viz, looking very important, as if they are enticing someone to ‘have a fuckin’go!’ & then there’s the Parking Enforcement Brigade, formally called traffic wardens, that did come with a proper uniform, & are now a bit of a mixed bunch.

But the worst cunts of all are the Environmental Enforcement Officers, yes, the ones that hide in the undergrowth, waiting for you to drop an apple pip, when they will jump out & say “I saw that! I’ve got you on camera! You won’t get away with it!” So bugger me, that’s another 80 quid on top of the last one, for when I got caught for fly tipping that double king size bed last week.

But seriously, these cunts also work along side the police in cities, where I have personally seen them use unreasonable force, on lesser mortals, like genuine homeless people, & those not even considered a threat. I don’t think they do a jacket for alcohol enforcement, but I would gladly steal one of them jackets just to wear in my local!

Nominated by: Lord Scunthorpe

34 thoughts on “Enforcement Officers

  1. There was a photo of two of these types of cunt doing the rounds last year.

    Two Covid Marshalls, stood in a queue crammed in like sardines in Gregg’s wearing hi-viz vests with “2 METRES DISTANCE” emblazoned on their backs.

  2. Don’t forget those Prize Cunts who signed up to be ‘Covid marshalls/wardens’.
    Doesn’t take much for these little control freaks to crawl out from under their stones.
    Size 10 boot to the kidneys is the only language they understand.
    Morning all.

    • I did find a use for one of these ‘marshals’, asked him for directions in Leeds city centre, so they did have some use on the beat 😂

      • I asked one of the marshalls at Leeds Central station for directions once. She sent me off down the wrong road, the bitch. Maybe she just didn’t like Geordies.

      • “Do you know where Iceland is?”

        “Yes, it’s halfway between Scotland and the North Pole.”

        “I meant the frozen supermarket.”

        And what sort of cunt gets a takeaway from fucking Iceland anyway (that ‘Just Eats’ slobbery advert)?

        This country is finished.

  3. It’s the uniform that does it. I well remember my local library having a ‘Security’ pensioner. After a lifetime of being an utter nonentity, once in uniform he became Adolf Fucking Hitler.

    • I had a run in with a pensioner with a store detective badge at an Asda once years ago. I’d bought something electronic and it set off the exit alarms. This was a cunt because I was in a Hurry.
      So this cunt must’ve heard the Hawaii 5-0 theme tune in his head as he jumped over and demanded to see inside my bag.

      I politely allowed him to peer into my bag to see my purchase, while keeping hold of it. I pulled the receipt out for him to inspect. He decided to attempt to reconcile everything in my bag and taking his fucking time about it. Eventually I said ‘that’s enough you’re making me late’ and started to pull the bag away. He indignantly snatched the bag from me. I turned back and told him unless he was a warranted police officer with stop and search powers he’d just commited a robbery. Hwe looked puzzled as I snatched the bag back and told him to fuck off.

  4. There was a bit of this ‘enforcement’ shit around like PCSO when I left Blighty but it sounds like local councils have now started up their own paramilitary wings. Of course, this inevitably attracts cunts who in a different time and place would’ve joined the brown shirts or Waffen SS.

    This is a symptom of the world heading down a totalitarian path. Only a matter of time before the Viz bottom inspectors becomes a reality.

    • Yes B.H. As it’s happens, I do call my local ‘Station Staffel’ that!

      • Thanks for finding the header pic admin. ‘Full frontal’ exposures of any of these cunts are rare, as they can become quite hostile, & at the same time extreamly camera shy!

  5. Pavement Admirals….best to just tell them to “Fuck Off” and keep walking.

    • Im not intimidated by 2 little fat cunts in a made up job.
      They cant do shite.
      They have no legal powers.
      They cant enforce action against me.
      Certainly cant detain me without their chubby chops getting a face full of forehead.

      Just fuck off or ill stick my boot up your flabby arse.🖕

      • Fucking right. It’s rather enjoyable to call these people “dickless fat spastics” and laughing at their utter impotence.

  6. I do not speak to enforcers, and I simply walk away. They fly into a rage, but can do fuck all. ? Put their hands on me ? I’ll sue the fuckers.

  7. Sounds alike to transport cops (called church police here, don’t know why)that fine you for not having a ticket , drinking or wanking. They’re often foreign folk, including Native Pommigrants with a grudge. Their mothers must be so proud of their choice of occupation. Tin Jesus jobsworth cunts.

  8. I’d love to play Hide and Seek with one of these excellent officials if mithered for dropping a fag end.

    Perhaps a Good Hiding followed by Seeking their front teeth off the floor would keep everything lovely.

    The silly cunts.

  9. Why would people tell them their name and address if they’re “caught” dropping an apple core or something?
    Anyone pussy enough to be intimidated by one of these special needs, friendless would-be bullying cunts deserves everything they get.

  10. There’s a classic dashcam video on t’internet somewhere of a guy with an Estuary accent telling a PCSO to get off his land. PCSO cunt gets indignant. The guy says ‘why don’t you come back with a proper police officer and I’ll talk to him, better still why don’t you come back with a dinner lady cos she’s got more powers than you’.

    Perhaps the admins could track it down for the amusement of all as I’m too lazy.

  11. Just ignore the cunts as though they don’t exist. They have no right to lay a finger on you. If they do, sue the cunts.

    Although there are exceptions during emergency situations I suppose. I remember seeing a ‘meme’ (yup, I’m with it, me) showing the Titanic going down with a speech bubble from ‘Karen’ saying, “I’m sorry, you can’t make me put this life jacket on. Are we going to do this my way or are we going to have to get the manager?”

    But for the most part, all little Hitler cunts who’ve failed at life.

    I was going to say treat them like those charidee chuggers who want your bank details in the middle of the street. But I don’t ignore them, I usually say, “When they stop paying your bosses 6 or 7 figure salaries, I might think about donating to a charity that helps our own people.”

    • Or once when in a particularly foul mood, “Africans? There’s too many of the useless cunts anyway. Let them die.”

  12. A sadly deceased friend of mine liked a wander to the paper shop of a morning and a fag on the way back. One of those litter Nazi’s watched him drop the dog end down fucking roadside drain. He deliberately walked off the path to drop it down a fucking drain and the savage bastard got him. He copped for a £60 fine if I remember. Evil cunt wanted decking.

    • Thanks for keeping us safe Techno. I can assuredly sit this one out as not a single penny of my hard earned has ever gone to Apple and the world would be a better place if no-one else’s did either. Censorious, monopolizing, CCP appeasing Cunts.

  13. Those Community speeding enforcer Cunts wind me up.
    Their usually seen in more affluent areas . They get given hi vis jackets and a hair dryer that when it does work the details are sent to the Police of anyone exceeding 20 MPH . Which is walking speed FFS
    Although they cannot enforce parking fines , they do report your vehicle to Plod and if this happens 3 times or more you will get a summons.
    Have these unpaid Narks got nothing better to do with their miserable lives ?

  14. This reminds me of the time my late mother in law had a stroke. The badge bastards had not sent her a disabled badge. We parked up and wifey was struggling getting mother in law out. I was getting the wheelchair out of the boot and folding it out the local traffic warden known in the town as Hitler ran up yelling you cant park there it’s for disabled people. I wheeled the wheelchair round and said what the fuck do you think this is for? Now fuck off before I deck you. Never had a round of applause before or since.

    Got a tounge lashing off MIL and the Mrs.

  15. My Belgian malinois dog would tell them to fuck off if he could talk, I might train him to cock his leg and piss on one of the plastic coppers

  16. I’m no bothered by the real coppers let alone these gimps. Useless turds without any confidence from the public after COVID overreach. No wonder the ex-chief of Leicestershire police hanged himself.

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