Meaningful votes


Last night the 600 odd cunts in Parliament against failed to agree on bugger all. Quel surprise!

So now the news is that the Cunt of the Year is going to bring her shit deal back for another go. How many fucking times does a meaningful vote have to be declared meaningless??? How long will it be before she gets the fucking message that nobody likes it on either side of the divide???

Some good news tonight though – a recent poll puts Labour on 26% and the Tories on 6% with UKIP on 18% and the Brexit Party on 28%. So if UKIP and Nigel make a pact not to contest the same seats, that’s a thumping great landslide majority.

And no. This is not an April fool joke.

I suspect however that our leader is not listening. Like the last European dictator in his bunker, May is busy moving her non existent armies around the map of Europe…

Nominated by Dioclese

Idiot Football Supporters / Paul Mitchell

Paul Mitchell is a total cunt

Who you may ask is this nobody and why does he need a solid gold cunting?

Well this is the absolute turd who has just had himself sent to prison for attacking some footballer in a match this weekend.

To be sent to pokey for a nice armed robbery or old style gangster hit is something, to be sent there to get bummed for the sake of a fucking game where grown adults foam at the mouth over a fucking ball being kicked around is another matter.

Football really annoys me, the fans, the game, the fact that it keeps the great unwashed masses from seeing how shite their pitiful lives really are really makes me want to puke. For me, this man is the ultimate cunt of cunts and deserves to be put in a cell with Big Ron.

Don’t tense up Paul, it makes it easier.

Nominated by Spanky Mc Spank

 

Idiot Football Supporters
Spring is upon us, and the breeding season for football hooligans is in full swing if recent events are anything to go by.
Amongst other acts of stupidity, we’re witnessing a spate of pitch incursions. James Tavernier of Rangers was shoved and verbally abused by some twat who got onto the pitch when The Huns were playing Hibernian. A mug supporter was arrested at the Emirates after an altercation with Chris Smalling of Man Utd. The most serious incident occurred at St Andrew’s, home to B’ham Shitty FC, where a Shitty thug floored Aston Villa’s Jack Grealish with a vicious punch to the head. The idiot concerned, one Paul Mitchell, appeared before the beak and entered a plea of guilty to incursion and assault, telling the court that he did it as ‘a joke’. A statement to the court by Grealish said that he felt ‘lucky’, given that things might have been worse ‘had the supporter had some kind of weapon’. Karma instantly played its part, as Grealish recovered to score the winner in the game, and Mitchell can now reflect on his actions from behind bars. Shitty’s self-styled ‘Zulu Warriors’ (yes, really!) have since been seen displaying banners bearing Mitchell’s picture, beneath the words ‘Freedom Of The City’. Classy. Very classy.
Naturally a clamour has arisen again, putting pressure on football authorities north and south of the border to act. Inevitably fingers are being pointed at clubs and punitive measures are being called for, such as fines, points deductions, and for matches to be played behind closed doors. Clubs will probably bear the brunt of sanctions, but short of going back to the bad old days of the 70s when fans were basically caged in, how can they legislate for the actions of wilfully disruptive cretins with the intellectual capacity of a dung beetle? Loutish, antisocial behaviour is something we see all too often in society these days, and sadly, football is a convenient vehicle for twats like Mitchell to latch on to. They’re the cunts, and they’re the ones who should be made an example of. Cunts.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Jussie Smollet

A mega cunting for Jussie Smollett.
I presume like many of you on IsAC I had absolutely no idea who this cunt was; well he’s a Trump hating black gay actor from tv show Empire apparently?
A few weeks ago he reported that he was attacked in the street by homophobic/ racist Trump supporters who sprayed bleach into his face and tied a rope ( noose) around his neck leaving him in a proper two and eight ( state) , since then he’s been lapping up the limelight with the usual # crowd crawling all over the story and voicing their support whilst obviously having a pop at Tango Don saying his divisive policies have bred hatred blah blah blah!!
BUT!!
Latest news reports coming out of the States indicate that it’s FAKE NEWS!!
Allegedly he paid some extras from his show to play the Trump supporters and stage managed the whole thing?
What a titanic liberal snowflake cunt!!!
As if there’s not enough racism and homophobia going around this attention seeking sack of excrement decides to invent some!!
According to reports this was done not only to harm Trump but because this 24 carat cunt thought he was being written out of the show and the media frenzy would secure him additional show time.
If true let’s hope this cunt gets some jail time…..

Nominated by Quislings

 

 

Jussie Smollet could be in contention for foreign cunt of the year. The story so far…

Chicago Police have charged Jussie Smollett, an ‘African American’ (black) actor, of stagging a hoax hate crime and has been accused of filing a fake police report claiming he was the victim of a homophobic and racist assault. He has appeared in court and the Judge said the “most vile” part of the incident was the use of a noose. Police say he staged the attack because he was “dissatisfied with his salary”.

I am sure his lawyers will come up with some bullshit to try and get him off but it appears the two guys he paid to stage the attack are, as they say, “singing like canaries”

What a Cunt!

Nominated by sick of it

The Modern Car

The modern car. When I say modern I am taking a slight liberty, it has a number of gizmos on it and a computer regulated engine so what could go wrong?

Well after a diagnosis of failing health I moved over to an automatic car, it had to be done in a speedy fashion so I grabbed the first one to cross my path an MOT failure that was easily fixable with a tin of expanding foam, some body filler and a new exhaust .

Well 3 years into its new life the car has developed a number of rather annoying habits, one being the gearbox which now seems to have an inbuilt danger sensor and reduces power on entering roundabouts or when asked to overtake or simply pulling onto a main road.

Its latest trick is the central locking that has developed epilepsy, the fucking thing wouldn’t let me out last night, I got home and tried to get out and the system went into a click click fit for a good 3 minuets leaving me stuck in the car.

This morning the fucking thing did the same trick trying to keep me out, the neighbours were woken by the central locking system machine gunning away, fortunately the alarm did not come in to play, which is also up the shitter and goes off should I attempt something so bizarre as gain access by the drivers door. (I think the lock may be jammed with accumulated earwax from the previous owners)

All in all the car is a total cunt and I yearn for the days when cars were cars and the only thing that went wrong with them were brakes, clutch or engine.

Nominated by lord benny

ISPs

I would like to aim a well deserved cunting to Internet service providers. I love the internet, it has made me super picky what porn I watch (just plain fucking doesn’t do it for me anymore) watch cunts get a real deserved cunting etc etc.

What I dislike is when the speed of my browsing/ streaming is not what I have been promised by the likes of bollocks telecucks.

I fucking hate having a page load for minutes and then get the message ‘no Internet connection’

I’m fucking spending a fortune every month for 80 mb of internet and you’re giving me internet from the dark ages of dial up.

The fucking gall of the cunts, they even charge me 40 quid for line rental

They’re all a bunch of thieving cunts.

Nominated by Cuntflappage