George Clooney is a cunt!

“George Clooney has called for a boycott of the Sultan of Brunei’s hotels after the nation introduced new laws punishing gay sex by death.
From April 3, it will be a capital offence for Muslims in the sultanate to engage in either adultery or gay sex, with the punishment being either stoning or whipping to death.”

But a while back

“Irish American actor George Clooney has come out swinging at President Trump and how he treats Muslims and other minorities.”

Make you’re mind up George, either accept Muslims or you don’t. Muslims that apply the Koran are the true Muslims, Islam rules their lives. They can’t pick and choose which bits of Islam they abide by, the Koran is perfect and the words contained inside are the words of god given direct to Muhammad by god and Muhammad was the perfect human.

Muslims rejecting the Koran and its edicts, any of them, are not Muslims anymore.

So George which is it, do you have the balls to say you care about Muslims as people but only if they reject Islam and stop being Muslims?

Come on George set the record straight or I might end up thinking you’re just a virtue signaling cunt.

Oops too late.

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit

Pedal Powered Parasites

The depths of my utter loathing for cyclists is unquantifiable. I have arranged to bequeath my palpable hatred of these lycra-clad cunts, to my nephew and his future offspring, in my Will.

This very evening, at the beer shop which I sometimes frequent, The Chase had finished and on comes the Welsh News. (Bad enough, I know but at least it’s in English). Second item up, some “professional cyclist” is loudly bemoaning the proliferation of potholes on the Welsh roads – having gone arse-over-tit off his bicycle when the front wheel of his Raleigh Tomahawk, or suchlike, entered a pothole at, apparently 30mph. (Err, slow down, you cunt).

The whole (frankly hilarious) footage, which made me crop-spray my pint across my fellow imbibers, is available on YouLube. It was a life affirmingly joyous experience to watch the silly cunt bowling over and over, bikeless, limbs in all directions across the hard tarmac. I may have to watch it on repeat later.

However, the cuntability factor in this, is that the waste of blood and organs that are known as cyclists, contribute fuck all to the upkeep of roads which they so freely infest. Try chucking a few quid into the system, like us motorists do, in Vehicle Duty, Tax on Fuel, Vat on Fuel, Insurance Tax, Annual MOT, Vat on Tyres, Servicing etc – Then come back on telly to piss and moan about potholes.

Oh and cough up for my pint whilst you’re at it !

Nominated by Cunt Reviled

Will this Brexit thing never end……?

This is DEFRA who have spent £400k counselling the darlings. That’s £400k of our money spent on people doing their job. In offices. With heating and probably windows. For a 37.5 hour week. And a bullet proof pension. Taking zero risks.
So where does the stress come from? It wouldn’t have anything to do with them being shifty, pen pushing, hysterical Remoaners by any chance?

Answers on a fucking postcard.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Following GJ´s masterly dissection of rap I would like nominate the honking and farting known as jazz that also masquerades as music. A cacophony of off notes produced by untalented ponces using their saxes, trumpets and drums to jerk off on stage as they are too lazy to pull their dicks out.

What a horrible bunch too with would-be aristocratic names like King Oliver, Count Basie, Duke Ellington and Earl Hines. Along with other unlovely monikers like Thelonius Monk, Dizzie Gillespie, Charlie Bird Parker, Herbie Hancock, Dave Brubeck, Stan Getz, Django Reinhart etc.

Can you imagine anything more off-putting than Louis Armstrong wiping his sweating, oily face with a miniscule hankie while baring his shark´s teeth and rolling his eyes or Miles Davis spaced out on a precursor of crack, creaking around the stage in skin tight trousers that are squeezing his balls til they burst?

Trad jazz is the worst especially when played by another stupid name Acker Bilk who, with his goatee beard and bowler hat, looks like a classic flasher.

I would love to imprison them all in the dark rancid cellars they love to “play” in, tie them to the tiny uncomfortable chairs the pretentious audience puts up with, attach headphones at full volume to their empty heads and force them to listen to Pinky and Perky and watch this video non-stop for eternity.

Nominated by Mr Polly

I want to cunt camp and butch behaviour.

First off, I have no interest in people’s sexual preferences, any normal person should have far more important things to be occupying their mind.

But what really fucks me off is this ridiculous fake persona that many adopt, in the case of gay men its campness and gay women it’s being butch as fuck. I don’t see this as having anything to do with finding someone of the same sex physically attractive, it’s just a excuse for attention seeking dickheads to indulge their self obsession and draw as much attention to their deviation from the norm.

Why can’t a gay guy just act normal…..instead of all this repulsive mincing around, squealing like bitches and general excessive flamboyance? Why does that have to go hand in hand with homosexuality? Same goes for the typical dyke….fat, short hair, dressed like a bloke. What the fuck? You like women, fair dos. But why the hell does your femininity have to disappear along with it?

I know two gay people, one is a taxi driver, one a ground worker. Both are as normal as you could ever wish to meet, both simply reply when asked, that they enjoy fucking men. Other than that, you’d never have a fucking scooby that they were gay. Both are bloody sound lads to boot, and neither has this sad need to camp it up like most of their ilk.

In the case of both sexes, it’s completely warped and unnecessary behaviour…..fuck all to do with being a fudge packer or rug muncher.

The sooner the LGBTQ community eradicates this retarded behaviour, the less issues they’ll have to face. Although I kinda think they like the attention really.

So fuck off you tarts!

Nominated by The Ghost of Glauber Berti