Andy Warhol once remarked that ‘everyone could be famous for fifteen minutes’. Unfortunately, there are any number of irritating cunts who have managed to extend their period in the spotlight for a lot longer than that.

I’m referring to those z-list ‘celebrities’ with all the talent of a fridge, that’s to say, those with no discernible talent other than that of relentless self-promotion in what’s termed ‘celebrity culture’, and  who then genera enough controversy to stay there. They’re the utterly insufferable pricks who are simply famous for being famous. They’re all over the meeja like a nasty and unwanted rash. They’re in the papers, magazines, and putrid ghost-written autobiographies. They’re on the telly – wannabes and never-will-bes in trashy vehicles such as ‘Love Island’, ‘The Apprentice’, and ‘I’m A Cunt, Get Me Out Of Here’.

Round up the usual suspects. We’re talking Katie Price, Peter Andre, Paris Hilton, Joey Essex. We’re talking Caroline Flack, Nicole Richie, Kevin Federline, Gemma ‘Five Bellies’ Collins, and of course the Kardashians… please feel free to add your own choices to the car-crash list of non-entities, up to and including the likes of Meghan ‘Little Miss Sparkle’ Markle.

It’s bad enough having opinionated luvvies like Cumbercunt and Thomphole gobbing off on anything from climate change to ‘refugees’ to Brexit, but at least they can stake a claim to fame. As it is, you’d like, no you’d LOVE to escape from the antics of ridiculous, no-mark cunts like Price, but it’s difficult, very difficult, because so many airheads buy into the vacuous ‘culture of celebrity’ and give them the oxygen of publicity.

To quote The Who’, ‘why don’t y’all f-f-fade away’. Or to put it more bluntly, why don’t y’all fuck.right.off. Useless, annoying twats.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Islam started as a perversion of a Bedouin cult in what is now (loosely) Saudi Arabia. This cult believed in the presence of a devil who existed in the moon and referred to said entity as “Shaitan” – since interpreted as “Satan”

A carpet salesman named Muhammed was in the area at the time, and being destitute and sensing an opportunity decided to indoctrinate the local Bedouin with a narrative that the Jews of Medina were evil and stealing from the (now) Bedouin followers of the “religion” he had invented, as he was illiterate he asked his new followers to think of a name, they were not interested, instead shouting “submission for the Jews” – submission being “Islam” in Arabic. Muhammed then declared that Shaitan was in fact a God, and named this God Allah.

Muhammed lied and deceived the Jews saying he had been robbed and beaten and left with nothing by the Bedouin, the Jews took him in, gave him shelter, money, work and friendship. Muhammed told the Bedouin the Jews were immodest and immoral and ordered one of the few literate people in the area to write a book instructing followers what rules to follow – it was called the Qu’aran.

A handbook of savagery, theft, lying, deceit, wealth envy, jealousy, Speedofillya, r*pe, incest, slavery, land grab and murder. Muhammed and his followers then murdered the Jews of Medina, stole their land, made their Women sex slaves and stole the Jews homes, money and possessions.

The birth of Islam.

Christianity and Judaism were prevalent in the area and Muhammed instructed his followers to rob and murder said at will, not to do so was “Haram” (forbidden). Judaism and Christianity were unreconstructed harsh religions but over centuries reformed because their followers would no longer tolerate or accept the brutal aspects of their faith until a period of “enlightenment” prevailed and evolved into modern Judaism an Christianity.

Islam has never evolved and never will, it is the same evil barbaric cult it ever was, when Muhammed decided he would marry it was to a nine Year old girl called Aisha – foretaste of things to come.

Fundamental Islam has one purpose – invade, rob, undermine and destroy everything which is not Islamic and silence every dissenting voice by means of forced conversion or murder – it has no place in the modern World, no place in modern society and is in my opinion is a serious threat not only to democracy but to Humankind itself.

Peaceful? Tolerant? My arse, because we all know the truth – Islam is a CUNT!

But, of course, not all Muslims are like this. Many are quite harmless – or so we are repeatedly told. Just the fundamentalists.

My first ever c*nting – be gentle with me, poet Laureate I am not!

Nominated by Vernon Fox

Mary Creagh, ex-Labour MP for Wakefield. Well, where the fuck do I start with this grey faced, old Supercunt?

Fucking moaning on every news channel that the cunt lost her seat? What the fuck do you expect, luv? You tried to stop Brexit at every opportunity, putting your name on every cunting amendment that that old, tadpole-faced cunt Grieve cooked up with ultra cunt Hilary (girls name) Benn!

The lot of ’em can fuck right off to cunt city. Fuck you, Mary Creagh!

Nominated by Political cunt

A smile, a song and a P45 please, for this masculine-faced, hairy chested former MP, who, like the tart we cunted yesterday who was a sore loser in IDS’s constituency, cannot face the fact that after 14 years her self-important posturing and unlimited expenses, grabbing gravy train has hit the buffers:

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/dec/28/labour-defeated-mps-call-for-unflinching-election-review

She blames everyone – old Steptoe (who admittedly was no help), her constituents, Boris, Brexit – you name it, but not of course herself.

If only the self important old cunt would stop for a moment and consider. Just like ducky Dominic Grieve, she was a Remainer in a strongly Leave constituency, and her constituents didn’t like their wishes being ignored AND being castigated as waycist and ignorant to go with it, so they told her and Granny Grieve and many others to fuck off. That is why you lost, you Blairite whore.

Now fuck off and rejoice that you can spend more time with your dildo.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

I too thought it was pretty funny when Trump eschewed all conventions of state behaviour and just murdered Iran’s #2 ’cause he’s a cunt. But when the dust has settled, and the mourners have been laughed at, it’s now clear exactly why states have these conventions of not behaving like gangsters, actually even John Gotti would have more sense than to whack an adversary and put out a statement saying so, in that the heat that single killing is going to draw is way more trouble than the cunt was worth. If you’ve got a problem with a country killing your people say so, declare war making every military person a legitimate target and THEN kill him. I’ve no doubt all of Trumps advisers were telling him to cool it but he’s done his own thing and who knows exactly where this shit will now end. Disrupted fuel supplies are an almost certainty meaning the price of everything is going to rise, the US and it’s allies are going to be alienated from the middle east allowing Russia and China greater influence, more Muslim lone wolf attacks – who knows what. I think this will be disastrous for his re-election because all the US knows there’s now going to be conflict with the region so long as Trump lives meaning a likely Leftist victory this year.

Nominated by, Dr Shagga and His Cunt Munching Machine

A little light entertainment 

https://youtu.be/Lc7-uDUFNwM

Everyone knows he’s a talentless, fat cunt who thankfully moved abroad.

Now the useless fuck got paid for a shit musical adaptation of ‘Cats’ and claims it’s shit. No kidding. why didn’t you say so at the time not after the reviews? Not to get me started on Judi Dench claiming her character is transgender for no reason other than to try to be “relevant”.

Nominated by lazybiscuits