Having just been attacked by a paddling pool in the garden and observed a neighbours trampoline make an airborne escape to (I presume) surrey.
I will call on this weather related on topic cunting, I myself will retire to the wood-burner with another glass of Cabbies and see how things unfold with the help of the APU (Generator to plebs)
Carry on cunting chaps.
Nominated by Admin.
A first cunting for Labour leader hopeful, Lisa Nandy. Shaggable? Yes, but she has now stuck her nose into areas which should be left to the woke wankers, and not a potential leader.
The lovely ‘Litha’ wants to change the OBE award to read ‘Order of British Excellence’ rather than ‘Empire’. Now I wouldn’t necessarily object to the word ‘Excellence’, if it were not for the reasoning behind it. She says ‘Empire’ causes offence to some people and used the example of Benjamin Zephaniah, a ‘poet’ with a shit hairdo. He refused the OBE because it reminded him of slavery and a thousand years of oppression, yes a thousand. The British Empire blamed for a thousand years. Not sure about that. Too much weed, Ben.
The point is that this is yet another opportunity to slag off Britain and its past. I would say to those people who have some strange desire to dwell on long gone history and try to constantly apologise for it, FUCK OFF.
I am not defending the honours system, but the right for Britain to have a tradition and history. It happened and this is our way of life. Sending kids down mines was bad and was stopped…having an award with the word ‘Empire’ in it isn’t!
Nominated by Sick of it
“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee. I’m speaking to you from the House of Commons, where I’ve been invited to meet Layla Moran MP. It’s nice to be here, Miz. Moran”.
‘Well I’ve graciously granted you two minutes from my extremely hectic schedule. As a highly relevant Liberal Democrat MP, I’ve got a hugely important message to state once more to the nation. BREXIT HAS YET TO BE DONE’.
“Er, excuse me, but I’m confused. You’re aware, are you not, that the UK formally left the European Union on 31st January, and we’re now starting the process of negotiating a trade deal”.
‘You’re not listening, so I’ll say it again. Brexit. Has. Still. To. Be. Done. I reiterate what I said recently on “The Andrew Neil Show”. The government must realise that the UK’s future lies firmly in continuing membership of the EU’s customs union and single market. This means that we now have to align ourselves as closely as we possibly can, so that to all intents and purposes, we’ll still be a member. Is that clear enough for you?’.
“Is this some kind of joke? We’ve just endured four years of trench warfare about this, and the nation has now voted conclusively on the issue. Your party has been reduced to a rump in the Commons, and the people have given a huge mandate to the government to enable it to get Brexit done. After all of that, you expect us tamely to hand our destiny back to Brussels again?. The PM and other ministers have made it crystal clear that we won’t be rule-takers from Brussels any more. You seem, if I may say so, completely delusional in your inability to accept that the UK really has left the EU.”.
‘Absolutely not. It’s the people who are in fact deluded. They’ve been brainwashed by vile, disgusting anti-EU lies, and by the terrible smears made against poor, victimised Remain supporters’.
“Hold on! That’s tantamount to calling Leave voters stupid yet again”.
‘Well so they are; peasants who don’t know what’s in their own best interests. I, on the other hand, am doubly blessed. As both a Londoner and a Lib Dem, I possess that superior Metropolitan intellect that is sadly denied to mere provincials. It falls to myself and my comrades to pick up the cross. The UK will always be a star on that glorious blue and gold banner, and it is our task to rid the little people of their misapprehensions and phobias, and lead them back to the glorious sunlit uplands where stands the new Jerusalem!’.
“But-”
‘That’s your two minutes. I’m off to meet the girlfriend for a soy latté. Ode an die Freude, anstimmen und freudenvollere…’ *trips away*
“Wait! You’ve dropped your bottle of pills… Oh dear, she’s gone. Well that was short and not very sweet. This Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.
Nominated by Ron Knee
You must be Joking! A “What the fuck are you people on?” Cunting for BBC Look North.
The regional news programme for Yorkshire and Lincolnshire ran a story today about racism towards Chinese people in York, specifically the University. Now there is nothing wrong with saying that online abuse of Chinese students is not acceptable, but they had to go further.
They gave examples of people avoiding sitting next to Chinese people on buses, or crossing the street to avoid passing them on the pavement. I would say that is common sense. Chinese students will have been returning to the University after being in China for the New Year celebrations; we also know that one student and another person (same family) have been tested positive for Coronavirus in York.
Now I would ask the cunts from Look North, would you sit next to some random Chinese on a bus in York? No, you fucking wouldn’t.
Cunts!
Nominated by Sick of it
A well-deserved cunting for Dominican-born, Labour peer, Secretary General of Her Majesty’s Commonwealth, Baroness Scotland.
Dubbed ‘Baroness Shameless’, this nasty piece of work has used the role, and public funds, to bung money to her friends like fellow Labour peer, Lord Kamlesh Patel of Bradford. She hired his company (which has has Patel’s wife Yasmin as its only other director), for lucrative publicly-funded roles, despite him having no experience and not putting the contract out to tender (instructing her deputies to fill out a form waiving the usual competitive tendering rules) and the audit not being able to figure out what they actually do. She hired a pair of friends as assistants, paying them a mere £32k per month, did the usual champagne-socialist bit of spending, including £33k for paint in renovating her grace-and-favour Mayfair home, all-in-all spending £590k of the UK’s foreign aid budget on her six-storey pad.
And this is the problem with filling roles as box-ticking exercises and why it’s bad for business and public life. She’s obviously corrupt, was hired almost certainly because she’s the right-on sex and colour, and is not unlike lots of other useless nepotists. But where we would expect others to face the chop, she’s supported by the Caribbean countries (funny that), the UK hasn’t taken action against her, and it’s taken New Zealand to withdraw Commonwealth funding, rightly regarding this smug bint to be a cronyistic parasite…the type you’d expect from a tin pot banana republic, to force the issue of her continued employment at our expense.
Nominated by Dr Shagga and His Cunt Munching Machine