Dame Emma of Twatson once described Britain as, “a tiny, cloud-bolted, rainy corner of ‘sort of’ Europe, a cake-filled, misery-laden, grey old island”. I think we may assume then that she has little time for the country which has done so much to give her fame and fortune. We love you too, Emma.

Anyway, there’s good news and bad news on the Dame Edna front. The good news is that Twatson (together with husband Sir Greg of Twatson) has become officially registered as a resident of Italy, and has been made an honorary citizen of Venice on the back of buying a flash pad in the historic centre of the city. Apparently the catalyst for this relocation comes from Brexit. Arch-Remoaner Thompson has always said that Britain would be “mad” to leave the EU, and whines that she’s always “just felt European” (newsflash: you’ve always been European, you dozy twat, and still are).

There’s bad news though. Luvvy, Champagne Socialist Emma still owns a £3 million pad in (you guessed it) West Hampstead, and a holiday home in Scotland. She and husband Greg are also retaining their British passports. We haven’t seen the back of her for good. No doubt she’ll continue to honour us with her presence from time to time; of course she’ll be popping back and forth for luvvy wankfests such as awards ceremonies and appearances on “The Graham Numpty Show”, not to mention finger-wagging appearances at Extinction Rebellion demonstrations. At the same time, I think we can safely assume that she won’t be travelling around by eco-friendly gondola.

I used to have a lot of time for Emma Thompson the actress, and I was also quite charmed by her air of amusing eccentricity, but no longer. She’s morphed into a tiresome, pompous hypocrite, the epitome of the word smug, as she jets around telling the rest of us to change. Please accept this two-fingered “virtue signal” from everyone at IsAC, and try not to trip over your own huge carbon footprint. We’d hate to see you fall flat on your self-important face.

Nominated by Ron Knee

I’m a cunt who pays £55 a year for a Parking Permit but can’t get parked on my own road.

Cunts who won’t park up to the next car. Cunts who take up three parking spaces with one car. Council cunts who don’t enforce the Parking Permits but are happy to take my £55 a year.

Not the most exciting nomination I grant you, but it boils my fucking piss to the max.

Nominated by Bob Frapples

Mark Twain once observed that, “Truth is stranger than fiction”. Anyone witnessing the recent Twatterstorm surrounding Rishi Sunak and Yorkshire Tea, could not fail to agree.

For those who might have missed this farce, the newly appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer posted a picture of himself, indicating that he was taking time off from budget preparations to brew some tea. Prominently on display in the picture was a large bag of Yorkshire Tea. “Nothing like a good Yorkshire brew!” said Sunak, the MP for Richmond in North Yorkshire.

Sadly, but predictably, loonies of the Owen Jones Persuasion promptly began to bombard the company’s account, protesting at the alignment of its product with the vile Tory Sunak and his hated party. Others called for the organisation of a boycott of Yorkshire Tea, completely ignoring the blindingly obviously fact (as reiterated by the company) that the manufacturers were not involved in any way in the creation of this most innocuous photograph.

This stuff is pure comedy gold; you really couldn’t make it up. Twatter isn’t the real world of course, but then the real world is not a place that these barking mad “teabaggers” have much familiarity with. Hounding people and trying to shout down those with whom you disagree is a surefire sign that you’ve lost the argument.

Raging at a teabag is a surefire sign that you’ve lost the bloody plot.

Nominated by Ron Knee

The Cuntiest Teacher in the World:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/family/teacher-shouldnt-around-children-comment-21597640

If we ran a Cunt of the Month award, this detestable piece of insect excrement is a shoo in. A wee 5-year old, daughter to a single father, got into trouble with this utter cunt of a teacher for making her Mother’s Day card out to daddy, having never known her mum. This fucking bitch even brought the issue up with the girls Father, complaining he was at fault for encouraging the 5-year old to ‘do things wrong’.

Now I’m not always the most sensitive person to others feelings, and am also a bit literal sometimes, but this harridan is off the fucking chart. Fathers/Mothers Days are a difficult time for children with single, or even no parents. They feel left out and are reminded of that empty space at home. It’s particularly hard for little girls without mothers, I imagine, as it’s more unusual. How revoltingly hard, how mechanical, how inhumanly insensitive! What kind of an unloved, damaged life must this ogress have suffered to inflict such a sadistic emotional assault on a child whose dad is also her mother figure?

There’s a very special place in hell for this reptilian lowlife. As others have said, she simply should not be anywhere near children.

Nominated by The Confession of Rev. Shagga

A nomination is for this oxygen thief that hasn’t been nominated on here for 8 years …. 8 years, FFS! We’ve surely been missing a massive opportunity here!

He’s probably about to win that poncy “Dancing on Ice” farce on ITV, only because of his fan base from “EastBenders”, etc, etc, rather than his skating prowess. How the fuck do TV producers continue to pay this irritating, talentless, ginger twat to appear on prime time TV, really beats me.

Used to quite like the bint he shacked up with too, even though she too was from the County of Essex, from where lots of folk now seem to think they have a right to celebrity status for doing fuck all!

Nominated by knobrot