Good news is no news, the old saying goes. On the other hand, BAD news is always news, and bloody hell, as ever, there’s plenty of it about. Naturally, the meeja just loves to pile on the gloom and doom to depress us all.

Coronavirus is on the rampage, an epidemic that’s about to acquire superstar, pandemic status. As well as the cost in human misery, the effects on the global economy are predicted to be dire. Over in Brussels, EU plutocrats want to play the cunt in trade negotiations, and this could mean that we’ll run out of everything as a consequence. The planet’s on fire, so we’re told repeatedly by creepy truant Grunta Thunderbox and her cult following. The Middle East certainly is on fire, pushing yet more hordes of migrants ( not to mention a load of pure chancers) in Europe’s direction. To add to the fun, yet more storms threaten to batter the living daylights out of us, with the the Met Office in its element, predicting the equivalent of a month’s rainfall in a day. The Markles are back in the UK, spreading their own unique brand of irritation and annoyance, and the Villa look odds on for the drop; yes, there’s news that goes from the sublime to the ridiculous, and none of it good. Read awl abaht it!

It just seems to go on and on…the stories peppered with alarmist trigger words such as ‘DISASTER’, ‘CATASTROPHE’, ‘CHAOS’, ‘HORROR’ and the like. Never mind though, as according to NASA, there’s a huge, fuck off asteroid heading straight for us come the end of April. Apparently it’s a planet killer, so if it strikes, it’ll be Goodnight Vienna. We can all bend over, put our heads between our knees and kiss our arses goodbye. It’ll be the end of all our troubles. Yet at the same time, we’re told to keep calm and carry on. Don’t panic! Don’t panic! Don’t hoard tins of beans and bog roll. You end up not knowing what to believe.

I’m sick of hearing this shit. Isn’t there some good news out there for the meeja to report on, instead of the relentless barrage of paranoia-inducing negativity they subject us to? Well fuck that. I’ve got my book in one hand, and a very large glass of malt in the other (just a touch of soda), and I’m off to bed to snuggle up to the wife. I fully expect to wake up after a good night’s sleep, to face the first day of the rest of my life, as will the overwhelming majority of us. It’s normal. I’d call that good news, but don’t expect to read about it in ‘The Mail’ or ‘The Express’. They’re just desperately waiting for an announcement about a new royal baby being on the way. That’s THEIR idea about what constitutes some good news to the rest of us. Give us a fucking break.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Riz Ahmed is a race-bating, white-hating cunt!

Imagine the scene: white men with machine guns, all wearing the same black attire. Dragging men, women and children – of a certain ethnicity/race – into the street, lining them up and systematically shooting them; all being watched over from windows of the ethnically homogenised locals, who say and do nothing…

It’s Schindler’s List right?

Wrong! It’s the imaginarium of Riz Ahmed! Where the family friendly pillars of British Society – the “peacefuls” – are brutalised by the evil white man, in his “arse about face” view on who the violent fuckers really are mockumentary: The Long Goodbye.

https://youtu.be/-TUhiOXlPow

If this fucking ingrate millionaire, like Lammy, like Sarkar, thinks that every white person in the UK is the equivalent of Nazi Germany’s SS, and that every fucking “peaceful” is oppressed by fear of being attacked by them, then I suggest he fucks off to a more tolerant and liberal country such as Iran, Saudi Arabia, or – better still – Pakistan! And with our fucking blessing!

If you flip that – Ahmed – where every (non- M25 bubble) white person lives in a very real and present fear of being blown up, beheaded, stabbed, raped and groomed – by YOUR lot – then you’d be much nearer the truth!I

So never mind ‘The Long Goodbye’, how about a short Fuck Off!

Oh, and by the way Riz, you’re welcome!

Cunt!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

I think Sefton Council deserves an enormous cunting, for giving in to one tweet from a ‘trans’ bloke/girlie who claims that the flag flown for International Women’s Day is a transphobic dogwhistle.

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/merseyside-council-removes-flags-outside-17849454

Honestly, this is now beyond a joke. The more the likes of councils and business give into these absolute fucking weirdos, the more power they gain. Adrain Harrop deserves a kicking too, but for one tweet to alter the behaviour of the council is appalling. This does not happen to any ordinary human being – usually we are ignored. We don’t have the power that is  increasingly given to the ‘trans’, identikit generation in our midst.

Nominated by Lana Del Cunt

An emergency, virus-fuelled cunting please, for Rose West’s ugly older sister, Mizz Andrews (I am not sure if she is a real Professor, or if it is a stage name like “Professor” Jimmy Edwards), but you can be sure the old fanny licker isn’t a Mrs:

http://<a href=”https://uk.yahoo.com/news/ex-government-official-says-coronavirus-163447734.html”></a>

The cynical, miserable old cunt is suggesting the Coronavirus could be “useful” to free up hospital beds, as the infection could kill off “bed blockers”.

What a gold-plated cunt, but then again she is involved with Scotland, so that makes her a double cunt.

Let’s be honest, the reason for bed-blocking is that there is not enough social care available to poorer, older people and too few hospital beds, due to the fact that we have packed this country with immigrants who breed like sodding rabbits, including those fuckers who can’t be bothered to apply in the normal way, but choose to invade us in cheap rubber boats in the middle of the night in Dover and Folkestone. The Coastguard acts as wet nurse rather than Captain Bligh of the HMS Bounty.

I just hope that in twenty years time, when old Andrews is shitting herself in a hospital trolley, her words come back to haunt her, the unfeeling fucker.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

I’m nominating Patrick Stewart, Alex Kurtzman and Amazon Video for the literal shit show that is Star Trek: Picard. My problem with this show is that it is neither Star Trek, nor Jean-Luc Picard in the show.

Star Trek was always supposed to be a show that the whole family could watch. Sure, at times it had the odd political message, the first interracial kiss being one of the most famous. However, that politics was always non-partisan, and for the most part, done in a sensitive way. Star Trek: Picard and it’s recent predecessor, Star Trek: Dick Suckery, are entirely partisan toward the Far Left. Both have episodes with F-bombs being dropped and extreme violence, both heavily feature women who are perfect in every way. In Picard, there hasn’t been an episode where the alleged Picard hasn’t been shouted at, or berated by a woman, and he’s just taken it like a good little cuck. One female Admiral even berated him over his “sheer fucking hubris”.

A recent episode showed that there was a black market for Borg implants and the opening scene showed a Borg, a character from Star Trek: Voyager called Icheb, being dismembered while fully conscious, without anaesthetic and screaming in agony. They actually showed him having an eye ripped out. So much for family viewing. Patrick Stewart actually announced a couple of days before it was released that the show was an allegory for Brexit and Trump’s Presidency. And there have certainly been a couple of negative references to Brexit, with Picard’s Irish Romulan housekeeper saying “dumb Northeners” after an attack by other Romulans on Picard’s vineyard. Kurtzman himself got into trouble for publicly stating that he didn’t want Trump supporters watching it. Well, he’s got that wish, because the ratings have fallen off a cliff. And it’s not just Trump supporters switching off.

The show bears absolutely no resemblance to Trek of the past. It’s badly written, badly acted and makes little sense. It is the quintessential woke show. A pile of festering shite.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw