The Cor-moaner Virus

The Cor-moaner virus (see what I did there?)

I’m off work because I mentioned that I had a sore throat, so my company told me to fuck off for a week. Therefore, I’m gonna get cunting again, and I’ve decided to cunt these twats that are moaning about being told to stay in because of the Chyna virus….Is it really that hard?

I’ve heard loads of cunts over the last few days moaning about the government stopping them from going out. No gym, no pub, no shopping for pointless tat. You’re not being asked to storm the beaches of Normandy, you’re not being asked to conscript in the army, you’re not being asked to give away all your money and move into a fucking yurt…No. You’re being asked to sit at home and do FUCK ALL.

Easy.

I understand how concerning it is to have wages lost (I don’t get sick pay), but the Government have brought in the measures needed to protect people. 80% of wages, rent and mortgage holidays, SSP (for what it’s worth) from Day 1, you can even leave the house for a daily stroll (not me though). Companies are even offering to negotiate with people on bill payment dates.

Yes, it’s bad, but again, you’re not being asked to storm the Normandy beaches, or bayonet charge a German trench. Get a fucking grip, you moaning, soft cunts.

Keep calm and carry on? Na….
Get pissed and do fuck all? Suits me.
England expects….

Nominated by Deploy the Sausage

 

Apologies Deploy, just wanted to chuck this one in:

128 thoughts on “The Cor-moaner Virus

  1. what’s with Heathrow and Gatwick remaining open and people flying in and out as they please? I’ve had to cancel a trip abroad cos, basically easyjet aren’t flying anywhere – so who exactly is flying around the planet and not doing as they are told? Ah, it’s the rich crimanal banker elites – that’s okay then CUNTS

      • Fucking un-believable, Lana. Everybody locked in their houses, screamed at to remain inside….meanwhile we’re importing thousands of people with the virus. Bonkers.

  2. My problem is that I’m not just being asked to stay at home. I’m being asked to stay at home and watch the economy, and my job with it, go down the toilet. With my my job gone, the very home I’m asked to stay in will be gone too, as at my age, having to compete with five million people for a job will be nigh on impossible. Social isolation isn’t much of a problem, I’ve been at the forefront of that since my wife left me, but at least I had a job.
    If I had a .gov job, I’d probably have a totally different outlook, get the housework done, bit of recording, then back to work for tea and medals, pension intact.
    So perhaps storming the beaches of Normandy might have been a better option. A worthy cause, a clearly defined enemy, and a weapon to attack that enemy.

  3. I live about a mile and a half from the centre of Chelmsford. I’m near the top of the road and reckon on a normal day no more than about 100 people walk past my house.

    Since lock down that number must have at least trebled. Chelmsford’s biggest park is fairly close but the car park is closed. As a result every dog walker, jogger and person going for a walk uses my road as a cut through.

    It isn’t necessary to go jogging or to the park for a walk. Selfish cunts the lot of them.

    • I live in a small country town. Exactly the same here. Dozens of cunts I have never seen before in places (field headlands, permissive paths, back roads) I walk regularly and completely alone. Often obese, many old and decrepit, typically with dogs to which exercise is an obvious stranger. Where the fuck are they coming from? OK, I suppose if it gets the indolent cunts off their arses in front of the box now and again, it will maybe spare the NHS some grief down the line, so let’s fucking encourage it!

    • Coo-ee Fish. Greetings from the “City” centre. At least you won’t have to worry about there being any big concerts at the park this year with all the rubbish the shitbags leave behind every other year. Silver linings, and all that.

      • Too right Betty. I was a ‘city centre’ liver until September last year. Moved the mile and a bit due to getting a larger house for slightly better money.

        I think the pub on my road is probably gutted that no concert. It’s probably the only time of year it has more than 10 customers in it.

  4. “You’re not being asked to storm the beaches of Normandy…”

    True. But we are being asked to flush the UK economy down the shitter. Hardly a walk in the park.

    Never mind, Her Maj will have it sorted at 8pm tonight. Meanwhile I’m off for a walk in the park.

    • ‘May husband end I are in this together with yew aalll… ‘.
      Yeh we’ll come and join you in your private hospital at Sandringham.

      • That is precisely what she said!

        You a speech writer by appointment to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in your spare time Ron?

  5. At the side of my local Tesco the Mosque next door is still having its Darth Vader convention 5 times a day. Meanwhile as I stay indoors as told to, a police helicopter hovers above my house 3 times a day. Why fucking bother following the rules whilst the Joe Dakis do what they fucking want? So, so fucking sick of this country. When we come out of this with five million unemployed, let’s take a wild guess who come out of it unscathed.

  6. Any fit young Auusie/Kiwi/ Saarrfff Afffrikan (white) blokes who need somewhere to stay I have a spare room ( with webcam).

  7. Oh that’s fucking fantastic that is. The Donkey made me spit my tea and I’m probably gonna get some vodka in for the arvo (normally I don’t drink as it’s bad for me but hey. Pass the popcorn 🙂

  8. The bug is virtually nothing. Only the weak minded act otherwise.
    And quite a lot of people are receiving nothing from any source. No pay, no furlough, no welfare.
    We’re not ‘just being asked to sit on our asses.’ We’re being financially stabbed in the ass.

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