I really loathe and detest small talk. It’s one of those awkward social twonks you have to deal with on a regular basis, and it really is hard work at times.

Last night I ordered a taxi, and had to spend a good 20 minutes trying to strike up a conversation with the driver (who was British for a change) in order to avoid equally awkward silences. So you strike up a conversation with the usual inane questions:-

“Busy tonight?”
“Do you enjoy this lark?”
“Any cunts you’ve had to deal with?”

Another scenario is small talk in the lift/elevator. Other than saying “4 please” that’s about as far as I want to go with talking to other cunts in the lift, especially cunts I don’t know. So we all stand there looking at the floor lights above the door, all of us wishing for our floor number to glow and the doors to open so we can get the fuck out!

Or you need a plumber, a spark or some other handyman (oops, I mean “handyperson”), to come round and fix something. Again more with the small talk “Would you like a cup of tea?” “How are you getting on?” “Had a busy day?”

Or queuing at bus stops. Not so much the big queues, but if there’s 2 or 3 of you, and the bus is running late and the small talk kicks in.

“The bus is late isn’t it”?
“Bus service is getting worse!”
“It’s the government’s fault”
“The weather’s bad isn’t it?” (as we get blown around in a force 10 gale with the rain lashing at our faces)

Then there’s the social occasions like weddings and birthdays, and the pain of more small talk spread over hours and hours of utter bollocks with people you don’t really know.

Or you enter an office early in the morning, and you go into the office kitchen, and there’s some cunt there making a coffee. You don’t know this person, but you’re not sure whether to be polite and strike up a conversation or just to shut the fuck up and ignore him. But you feel inclined to say at least “Good morning!” which puts the ball in his court, until he replies in kind. And then you’re kind of fucked as to what to say next!

It also reminds me of those 1st dates when I was in my naive yoof. You’d meet up with your girl inside a pub or eatery, you’re then shown a table, the waiter takes your order, and then you’re both sitting there face to face (this was in the days way before the distraction of mobile phones), and you’re desperately trying to think of something profound in order to impress your girl, but your brain lets you down yet again. So you end up saying something shite like “Do you come here often?”

These days I feel far more inclined to say how I truly feel, but politeness always holds me back.

Nominated by Technocunt

A ‘Why-am-I-treated-so-bad?’, ‘ole man river’ cunting please, for the poor, downtrodden ‘people-of-colour’ (forthwith known as POCs) who suffer terribly at university:

https://metro.co.uk/2020/03/16/still-much-racism-universities-12294077/

How do we know this? Well, Mizz Bakar tells us so in her article…and how does she know? Well, her friends have told her so.

This article is just page filling bollocks. Most (all?) universities these days bend over backward to please and appease the POCs, no-platforming anyone who might upset their tender sensibilities, multi-language signs, prayer rooms etc, etc. IF some ARE given the cold shoulder, it doesn’t seem to occur to them it might have something to do with their bombastic, loud-mouthed antics, attitudes and constant protesting. I live not far from one of these London “universities” (in truth probably just an up-it’s-own-arse Sixth form college), which includes many POCs – in fact they might well be in the majority – and they look (and sound) far from downtrodden.

Perhaps they just enjoy being victims? Mammy!

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Ellinor Grimmark and Linda Steen are cunts, aren’t they?

Who are these yeasty Scandoes and why do they look both barely-calm and barely-evolved? Well, they’re midwife nurses who, after their refusal to carry out abortions on religious reasons, were rightly sacked. Swedish legislation requires midwives to perform abortions.

They claimed that their freedom of conscience had been violated and that that they had suffered discrimination as, despite being educated to be midwives, the two God-botherers have been turned down for midwifery jobs. They argued in several Swedish courts but lost their dispute.

In the long-running case Sweden’s discrimination ombudsman also ruled against them. Even the ECHR (cunts themselves) declined to take up the Devil-dodgers’ case.

Although midwives aren’t obliged to do the same in the UK, it still raises the question: Is it right for nursing employees to refuse to offer care? D O D G Y

This reminds me of when some rágheads working in M&S refused to stock shelves with alcohol bottles for fear of offending Alläh! If you can’t do your job because of a wacky religious belief, find another job.

Better still, if you know in advance that the job might violate your belief in bearded men living in the sky/an 8th century goat shepherd god/space aliens/bedsheet-wearing bald, Krishna-nutters/purple-robed, papist pædós/Judaic Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Ganesh the blue elephant or any other variety of cloud fairy….don’t fucking apply.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

That self-congratulating, posturing hypocrite Bono.

Bono, who now appears to resemble Robin Williams doing a shit John Lennon impression, has written a “song” inspired by the millions of people isolated by the Coronavirus.

In his own words:

“Fur de Italians who inspoired it… for the Oirish… for ANYONE who d’is St. Patrick’s day is in a toight spot and still singin!”

So no doubt, because he cares so much about all these people, he’ll be donating the money he should be paying in taxes to the people who still have to work like nurses or care assistants….right??

N’aah of course fucking not. Much easier to just write a crappy song about it and stand there grandstanding like a twat. Rather than putting your money where your mouth is and actually do something that benefits anyone other than himself.

Bonobo – consider thy self cunted.

Nominated by Harold Steptoe

Joanne Rust deserves a nomination. Now I know what you’re thinking. Well, it turns out that Joanne Rust is the ignorant dipshit who broke the quarantine rules in Spain, by taking a swim in the hotel pool and getting arrested for it. I was going to write this one off as just another entitled twat who thinks that rules are for other people. Except I recently found out that Rust isn’t just another lowly member of the proletariat. No, it turns out that Rust is a Labour councillor, a Unison member and a three time Parliamentary candidate (lost all three times).

As a public figure, albeit a minor one, Rust should not only fucking know better, she should be setting an example to others by being seen to be following strict rules that were put in place to help slow the infection rate of a DEADLY FUCKING WORLDWIDE VIRUS!! But no, being a Labour slug, her attitude is that she can do whatever the fuck she wants. Well, as the Spanish police taught her, she can’t. Joanne Rust, you are a cunt.

Oh yeah, a cunting for the fucking brain donor who rocked up in Spain a couple of days ago, for a ‘sunshine holiday’, despite knowing that Spain was already on lockdown. During a pandemic? Bitch, have a word with yourself.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

I nominate Joanne Rust for a red flag waving, champagne Socialist cunting.

This detestable piece of wank rag was recently identified as the cunt who flouted the Spanish hotel and authorities by ignoring advice to use the swimming pool in Tenerife. She apparently was protesting because boo hoo she didn’t get a fucking free upgrade to her room.

I hope the Spanish fuck her over royally and send her to jail on top of a heavy fine and is thrown out of Labour Party.
I have met this Harridan a Couple of times and can honestly say hand on heart she is THE most loathsome putrid piece of self serving shit I have had the non pleasure to meet.

Coronavirus if you are listening please fill your boots and give her your strongest dose.

Nominated by Once a cunt always a cunt