The Cornish

A big Cornish Cream Tea cunting for that bunch of Stasi Nimbyies in Cornwall. We don’t want Gordon Ramsey here the Cornish cry, we don’t want any second home owners here bringing SARS-Cov-2, we don’t want any second home owners period.

I’m rather miffed with the treatment of Gordon Ramsey. Now he’s not everyone’s cup of tea but what exactly has he done wrong? Gone to his second home in Cornwall before lockdown was announced in order to see it out there. He takes his exercise by riding his bike. Apparently the Coast Guard gave Gordon a warning for being 25 miles from home on his bike. Well firstly, there is no radius restriction on how far you can ride your bike, secondly 25 miles on a bike isn’t that far, and thirdly the Coast Guard can fuck off. What’s their part in the daily dinghy arrival, eh? Then the Cornish have been moaning that he goes out more than once a day. Well who gives a rat’s in the middle of nowhere? Its not like he stops to hug everyone he sees.

Meanwhile the Daily Panic Mail revels in Gordon’s misdemeanours whilst their readers comment like brainwashed morons that Gordon is an arrogant millionaire for being in Cornwall or riding his bike!

Apparently the Cornish call outsiders ‘ants’ or ’emmets’. How rude. Well there’s no tin left or whatever it is you used produce. With the attitude you have against outsiders, you’ll have no tourism left either. There’s no law against having a second home and its too bad house prices have risen and priced out your Cornish underclass from owning a home. Happens everywhere, why is Cornwall so bloody special?

Please nobody go to Cornwall again and let them stew in a demise of their own making. Their pasties give me heartburn and I can do without mead thanks. I’ll clot my own cream if I need to.

Nominated by Cuntologist

The perpetually offended. And there are many groups of them though as a % of the population they are insignificant. Which seems to be frustrating for them.
Apparently there was some wankfest on the telly- Children in Need perhaps? Not sure but there was some Little Britain stuff on it. You know – I’m a Ladeee, the Wheelchair bit.
Cue the perpetually offended.
Sexist, racist, disablist (is that even a word) and of course, trannie phobic.
Fuck me. Get a life. Have a laugh if it floats your boat. But for fuck’s sake can the media and business ignore the pathetic, whining victim status cunts.
Perhaps then they will crawl back under their rock. And fucking stay there. Who knows? Comedy may return.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Teachers and the NASUWT in particular.

Mostly sat at home on full pay while NHS, carers, shop workers, dustmen, drivers, posties, food workers, steel workers and a host of others have all soldiered on.
Aided and abetted by Labour councils they are screaming that it is unsafe to return.

Fine. Stop paying the cunts and look to terminating contracts. Perhaps then they wont be looking forward to the long summer holiday and winging about ‘the marking, the marking’ as one cunt neighbour used to.

Utter parasitical cunts.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

A nom please for the green/eco agenda and COVID-19.

Not a day goes by these day, where I don’t see at least three articles in the media (I know, I’m a cunt for looking) showing me before-and-after pictures of the Thames Estuary or some other shithole that normally looks like Willy Wonka’s river of liquid chocolate, with the occasional shit-soiled nappy or jizz-filled condom floating past.

Obviously the “before” always looks the underside of Fred West’s patio if it had been located in downtown Beirut; whereas the “afters” always show glowing, azure blue tropical waters and golden sands akin to St Maarten.

Now call me cynical, but I think these photos have more to do with the efficiency of Photoshop than the drop in emissions and pollution – and that the eco loons are jumping on the bandwagon of the Chink flu to suggest we should go back to the pre-industrial era. The only trade-off we need to make is the total end of our pre-virus way of life, the collapse of every global economy, no travel or holidays for anyone except the super-rich, and the open-ended curtailment of our hard-won liberties? Sorry, but my V8 is coming out of the garage the minute this shit’s over with.

Nomimated by Cuntan the Cuntarian

Mark Di Stefano is someone who is eminently worthy of a nomination. For those who don’t know, Di Stefano is a “journalist” formerly of Buzzfeed and now, (also formerly) of the Financial Times. He’s formerly of the FT because, just days into his employment, he was caught eavesdropping on two private Zoom meetings. One was at the Independent and the other The Evening Standard. Both meetings were discussing furloughing staff.

Like a true hack and supreme fuckwit, he was caught because he initially used his FT email address and then, when he realised his dipshittery, an anonymous one linked to his mobile phone. And whilst eavesdropping on these meetings, he live tweeted what was being discussed, which meant that journalists who worked for those news outlets found out they were being furloughed before their employers could inform them.

This has resulted in a monumental shit storm between the FT, the Indy and The Evening Standard. Happily, it’s also resulted in Di Stefano resigning from the FT. In case you’re unaware, Di Stefano was one of the far left, anti-free speech loons who helped get Tommy Robinson booted off various social media platforms and crowdfunding sites. He was also responsible for getting Count Dankula and Sargon of Akkad demonetized on YouTube and bragging about it.

So, don’t feel sorry that Di Stefano is now out of a job. I wouldn’t normally do this, but I really hope that his career as a journalist is over. He’s a cunt of the highest order.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw