I would like to nominate sky1 and the new series that is Hitmen for a monumental cunting.
Granted I haven’t watched it I’m purely going off the ads that I’ve had inflicted on me every 15 minutes whilst watching anything else, I’m sure most of you have had this bollocks forced on you as well.
That rug muncher Sue Perkins and her druid pretend to be hit hapless hitmen and the hilarity ensues (fucking not). Assuming the ads are the best bits/ highlights, good comedy here is fucking hard to find. I’m sure jamming a screw driver down your jap’s eye would be more fun that enduring half an hour of this utter brain damage, so come on Sky what the fuck is going on? You would be much better off showing reruns of Minder.
Nobody wants to see these unfunny Lezzo so called comediennes proving what we already know and that’s that they are totally devoid of any talent what so ever. I honestly would rather watch my car rust.
Please look into some televisual quality for fucks sake…we are stuck at home for weeks nobody wants to watch shite like this….
Nominated by Fuglyucker
Sue Perkins, it is difficult to think of a less talented,more self obsessed person. Bearing in mind that she has some stiff competition that is some ‘achievement ‘.
Did you know that she went to Cambridge?
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What, as a dinner lady in the canteen?☺
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Probably to hang round those dog – awful, fithy toilets in Lion Yard.
Is there a transbumder / appalling mistake of nature equivalent of “the cottage”??
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Sue Perkins Has made a career out being a 17 year old male A level student.
The only difference is Sue gets some pussy.
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I have complained to Sky because I am mortally offended by the title “Hitmen” – sexist and misogynist beyond belief in this more diverse age.
I have demanded they change the name to “Hitnonbinaries”
Oh, and Sue Perkins is a desperate one-trick pony cunt
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Though I’m at a loss to think of what her one ‘trick’ actually is.
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You’d be better becoming used to it Fugly::
Lesbo drama
White man baddies
Wrong done-by Brownies
Token bufty/black/dýke/emasculated man (especially British double plus good)
Female boss
Every baddie has a ghheart Russel T Davis dogshit formula
Päki terrorîsts/child-groomers don’t exist
Young négro heroes
Humour-free comedies starring Asians
Acclimatise to the modern world Fuggers,or read a book.
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*Good heart not “ghheart” which sounds like the onomatopoeic retch noise you make while watching this festering cack.
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Your totally right Cpt Mag, i will stop this masicstic self torture by suffering greasy hole ferrets like this and pic up a good book, i have just found one called Hitmen, its about some Greenham common, vegan fish fingered lezzo and her druid supposedly fighting crime whilst being helped by loads of different flavours proov to us that your average hetro, white males are all cunts….
Bah fuck it im gonna get my fucking screwdriver, its a better way to kill the time…
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Chuck in a passionate muzlim, a medical Chînk, and a loyal, loving, heroic black then dispatch that straight to the publishers. Comedy of the Year.
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A book?
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
I have No Mouth and I Must Scream – Harlan Ellison
We – Yevgeny Zematin
The Gulag Archipelago – Aleksander Solzhenitsyn
Anyone notice a theme?
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why is this woman still in employment?
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Care in the community extending its reach these days.
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Thanks for the heads up on this one Fug. Sounds like a right sack of cack.
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Even my wife only watched the first episode, although not to the end, and said it was shit. I’m so proud of her.
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Must have a lot of money to waste
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The underlying issue is that women are not as funny as men.
The reason for this, I believe, is that men have had ‘humour response’ hard wired in for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Men have traditionally worked in “hard graft” industries such as mining, ship building, factory work, construction not to mention the armed forces. These environments have forced comical coping strategies for uncomfortable situations that we find ourselves in. Get a bollocking of the boss? Take the piss out of the boss! Laughter serves no physiological purpose; it only serves as an emotional empathetic response.
Women on the other hand try and copy men because they are not as clever as us, don’t have cocks and basically want what we have got. Or, in the case of Mrs Daz, she doesn’t want us to have what we have got e.g. Working Men’s Clubs, drinking buddies, Stag do’s, foot fetishes and so on.
What Sue and co need to do, is follow me around for a week, writing down everything happens and that is said (they must remain silent at all times). Then, finding a chubby Northern lad with a drinking affliction and impeccable comic timing, commission the obscure production to a non prime time slot on BBC2 or BBC4. This is bound to drive viewing figures. CUNTS!
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MCN looking at you here!
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Im shapely not chubby!!😠
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I’m seasonably plump
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Daz, Hitchens had this philosophy.
One problem here though: Perkins is not really a woman.
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Spherical?
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A lot of men use humour to attract women. Women don’t need humour to attract men as most have a cunt. Unfortunately, just to confuse the issue a lot of men are women too, but they don’t have cunts, they just are cunts.
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I will try to stay with the topic in one bit.
Today’s entertainment has been to wash two cars, some planters and then I pushed the boat out and did the wheelie bins too!.
Whilst doing so I pondered, in my youth there were 3 TV channels (And they used to go to bed at night too) Now I have fuck knows how many channels to choose from and………90% of it is shit (coupled with viewing differences with the MRS) so I just do not bother.
I met a Hit man once, he wasn’t very good firstly he told me he was a hit man and secondly he was in prison (both pretty good indicators that you are shit) But fair play to him he did gun down the first minister for tourism of the republic of Croatia. (Interesting character, Commander of special police unit zebra, secret hit man, and waiter in Austria ( I do not make this shit up)).
Any way the guy was a massive bell end, really up his own arse with importance, then said the wrong things that resulted in a massive kicking from around 30 security staff, chucked in a van and ended up in a converted monks cell in a work camp on a mountain near the Hungarian border.
Last I heard of him there wasn’t much left (physically or mentally of him) he made spivy look sane.
http://www.crorambo.com/
Told you he was off his trolley
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Fooking Ada, that website deserves a bookmark in it’s own right. Where to start!
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He was once an important person, or a face.
He lead a special police unit and they were nutters but very effective nutters.
He lost everything, liberty, wife, money, credibility and sanity.
He upset the wrong people, strangely enough he may still be alive, though not a very nice life I would imagine.
He had it very kushdie, then he said that he had carried out the hit on Presidential order publicly and well his life turned to shit quick time.
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I knew some characters in Vienna… One was a waitress who bore a strong resemblance to Miss Piggy, pd sure she was Serbian, probably militant Black Trotter. Had a voice that could stop a Stalin tank in its tracks, and turn it to rust.
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Sue Perkins.
Sue fucking Perkins.
Another example of the congenitally unfunny shitstains masquerading as a comedy act today. Yes, comedy only so far as you don’t grasp how laughable your right on, Ben Eltonesque charade is. A 24 carat subject of derision not happiness, lacking humour and solely existing to reinforce the Leftist mantra on whatever Leftists are outraged about today, which, in their utter lack of imaginative material consists of white, male, working and ,er, well it’s all somebody else’s fault becoz we sez so, right sistas?
This will sink without trace and settle on the bottom of the televisual cesspool along side Dr Who and other such fragrant, woke (more akin to burnt) offerings.
Feck off you rug munching no-mark.
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I wont watch anyfuckingthing Perkins is in. In fact, I might take out a subscription to those cunts at Sky just so I can turn the fucker off.
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I watched about twenty minutes of the first episode. I thought ‘sitcom’ was the short form of ‘situation comedy’, but apparently I was wrong because Hitmen was about as funny as having my balls spontaneously combust. What’s even more depressing is the knowledge that Mel and Sue are representative of today’s so called comedians, further to the left than Ben Elton and having to rely on crudity and ridiculous insults towards Tories and anyone else they consider to be far right, which happens to be the vast majority of the population.
When I was growing up, we had the likes of Benny Hill, Jimmy Tarbuck, Jimmy Cricket, Bob Monkhouse, Frank Carson, the Two Ronnies, Little and Large, Russ Abbott, Morecombe and Wise, Jim Davidson and the Big Yin himself, Billy Connolly. Not to mention numerous others. The difference between those guys and today’s mob, is that they were, for the most part, funny. Most modern comedians can’t do anything without bringing politics into it. The really sad thing though, is most of the comedians I grew up watching would be considered racist, sexist and homophobic today. Anyone remember Jim Davidson’s mate Chalky? Can you imagine him getting on T.V. doing that Jamaican accent?
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I’ve never fucking heard of her. I’m afraid I’m hopelessly ‘ off trend ‘.
Get some Jack Hargreaves on.
‘ Out of Town ‘, proper telly, from when the world was normal.
Good afternoon.
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That and The Old Country, re-runs on YouTube jack, great stuff.
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Used to love it. A world that’s largely gone. Which is bitterly regretful.
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Fuck me, Jack, now you are talking.
Bee keeping and cider making in deepest rural England. Old Jack used to show us old hand tools and what the craftsmen used them for. Like an early men’s channel.
Used to watch that with my dad years ago. I remember the Southern TV ident at the start.
Great days indeed.
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I agree, inexorable really but it’s good to watch the episodes from time to time.
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Sue Perkins was (is?) a Q.I regular. I used to watch that show with my mum when Alan Davies and Stephen Fry were on.
No political nonsense back then, just about proving that some facts were false. It was a bit pretentious at times but mostly mildly amusing.
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I’m absolutely triggered and shaking wìth RAGE!
I demand that this is renamed Hitpersons as of NOW!
What we really need to cheer us all up in these scary times is a double act feature length comedy starring Nish Kumar and Sue Perkins hilariously poking fun at say Trump/Boris/Tories/ White men. I can feel the belly laughter coming on now.
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If it’s not funny it’s not comedy, this is just the slow ooze of puss laden excrement dribbling out of The Ministry of Truth.
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Fucking Hitman and Her, wasn’t that Peter Waterman and Michaela Strapon when she was younger and quite tasty?
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I haven’t seen this Hitmen programme.
Before the ad break, does it come up with, “Brought to you by Soup Erkins’ Bum Oil” ?
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It would be faintly amusing if the entire cast fell into a volcano.
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Haven’t seen it. Don’t want to see it. I avoid shit.
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Fuck this shite. Another reason to not bother with SKY or the BBC cunts.
However all of Basil Rathbone’s Sherlock Holmes films are on Youtube free and unmolested.
They could only be improved by each film ending with Nigel Bruce booting Bendydick Cuntybatch and Martin Freelunch in the nuts…
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