“Professor The Messer” Chris Whitty

Why has nobody cunted this bald Dr Evil look-alike before?

I’m sure he was something to do with the disastrous Foot n Mouth response a few years back but he sure is the top cunt at the moment.

Whenever you see him, he’s loving all the attention he’s getting. I wish we could get some form of proper government back at this time when we most need it instead of having an almost biblical worship of this cunt and his kind.

Chris, I hear there is some hope of normal life? survival? anything?…..well, I’d like to say yes but I’m a complete cunt with more in the bank than your average oil baron so I have to say NOOOOOO…we’re all DOOMED.

Listen egghead, fuck of with all your shite.

Nominated by Spanky McSpank

“…like this, then I lick my lips….”

Michel Barnier
I’m currently getting a whiff of cunt. Unfortunately, it’s not that soft, musky fragrance that we all crave so much. It’s EU cunt, in the rancid form of chief Brexit negotiator Michel ‘Le Cunt’ Barnier.
‘Le Cunt’ has launched an attack on the UK for (get this!) ‘refusing to extend its transition period’ beyond 31st December, whilst ‘slowing down discussions’. The UK has ‘failed to engage substantially on issues’, with talks ‘making no progress on fisheries’. No fucking shit, Sherlock.
Let’s get this straight. The UK keeps telling you that we don’t want an extension. It’s YOU that wants the UK to apply for an extension. Mmm… why ever could that be? Could it have ANYTHING to do with the EU then being seen, so graciously, to accede, then demanding in return our slavish adherence to EU rules and the jurisdiction of the ECJ without any input or recourse? Oh and let’s not forget your belief in your divine right to continue plundering our fishing grounds and our coffers for the duration; Covid-19 means that you need these more than ever…
‘Slowing down discussions’, are we? We’ve had nearly four years of talks, and you’ve had us over a barrel for the most part. The general election of 2019 changed all that, and how. Theresa May is no longer coming cap in hand to you. So here’s how the cookie crumbles, you Frog fuck. We really do want a deal, but you want one even more, and you ain’t calling the shots any more, so get used to it. You, M. Barnier, are one of the biggest sticking points on the road to agreement; your hubris and arrogance is astonishing. Just keep your hissy fits to yourself, because the only person impressed is you.
So no more bullying and contempt from you, thank you very much. Is it deal or no deal then? If it’s deal, pony up and fast. As you said, ‘the clock is ticking’. Otherwise, allez de l’avant et multipliez, vous tron du cul.

Nominated by Ron Knee

This might be a bit previous, but I am nominating ITV’s ‘modern reimagining’ of the classic 70s series Van Der Valk. This won’t be on tv until tomorrow 26th April, but from what I’ve read in the tv guide, it contains all the obligatory stock characters of the modern detective series:

Main character, a loner
Female boss
Lesbian member of squad
Young buck detective (with an eye for the ladies)
Junior eager member of squad (effnick)
Hard drinking pathologist

This was last resurrected in 1990, seventeen years after the original ended. It should have ended there. The original is on Talking Pictures TV on Fridays at 9pm, I’ll stick with that.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Utter me me me bullshit.

‘Coronavirus: Naomi Campbell and African artists entertain fans online
Supermodels like Naomi Campbell, along with many musicians and artists, have taken to live streaming to entertain their fans during the Covid-19 pandemic.’

Can anyone tell me, apart from assaulting her staff, what fucking talent this stupid woman has? And, colour apart, in what way is she African?
Another example of the utter vacuity of these cunts.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble