The Grauniad

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The Guardian deserves a nomination, again. The Lancet recently published a study by the WHO into the 2 metre social distancing rule, and unlike the Mail, who put a positive spin on it, the Guardian opted to do a bit of scaremongering. Whereas the Mail headline is “One Metre Is Enough”, followed by “it cuts risk of catching virus by 80%”. Actually it’s 82%, but I’m not going to argue. The Guardian has gone with “Cutting back to 1 metre doubles infection risk”. Two different takes on the same study.

As things stand, the UK is one of only two European countries that are still enforcing the 2 metre rule. France has cut it to one metre, Germany has compromised and gone with 1.5 metres. At the moment, being 2 metres away from another person not from the same household means that your chances of not catching the kung flu are about 91%, whereas cutting it to 1 metre gives you an 82% chance of not catching it. Now, obviously, I’m no expert on these matters, but I would say that even at one meter, the chances of catching this virus are still very low. I like those odds. It would mean that pubs could reopen, and hairdressers and barbers. And here’s something else to consider, most of us have had to go into stores where, despite one way systems and social distancing, we’ve had to walk past people in the aisles at less than two metres. Have any of us caught Kung Flu by doing that? I haven’t.

So why the fuck are the Guardian trying to panic people into demanding that something that, by all accounts was an arbitrary figure anyway stay in place? Because they’re left wing cunts, that’s why.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

QDM then came back for a second helping…

The Guardian needs another nomination. Don’t you just love it when karma hits lefties in the face with a sledgehammer? Guido is reporting on the hypocrisy of the Guardian celebrating the removal of statues of men who died two hundred years ago, because they were involved in even the most tenuous way to the slave (which was assisted by black Africans, who profited greatly from the sale into slavery of other black Africans they had captured in battle. Funny how that NEVER gets mentioned).

It turns out that back in the day, when it was known as the Manchester Guardian, the paper was a fervent supporter of the Confederacy during the American civil war. And they were vehemently opposed to Abraham Lincoln. On the 10th October 1862, the Guardian wrote of Lincoln’s election as President;

“it was an evil day both for America and the world when he was chosen President of the United States”

On hearing the news of Lincoln’s assassination, they wrote that his time as President was “abhorrent”. I guess the modern day employees of that rag either don’t know the history of the Guardian, or they’ve employed the age old lefty trick of conveniently ignoring the fact that their distant predecessors were supporting a regime that actively participated in slavery, in the hope that nobody will find out. Well, someone has. Those lefties at 90 York Way had better hope that Antifa and BLM don’t find out. Be a real shame if their offices were besieged. No amount of knee bending will help them.

66 thoughts on “The Grauniad”

  2. The only distancing I’m interested in is keeping at least 1Km away from any copy of The Groaniad.

  3. Supporting the rebs? Logical enough. The Manchester Guardian, as it was, only existed because of the Lancashire cotton industry. And who picked that cotton?
    Time to march on the Grauniad offices and burn them to the ground, I’d say. Though there are numerous other good reasons to do so, so take your pick

  4. I read this as a child but later progressed to more intelligent ones like Tiger, The Beano, Speed, Whizzer & Chips, and eventually Viz.

    • I bet even Viz is woke nowadays. No more “Thieving Gipsy Bastard”. I stopped buying it after “Christ on a Bike”. I count myself as bog-standard CofE, and I found it a little offensive, but still funny. But, as with many publications, they would never do anything about Mohammed or take the piss out of Islam.

      • Viz listed alongside Yorkshire Tea as a supporter of BLM, so there you have it…👎

      • Viz stopped being funny about 10 years ago to be honest (when they went all PC and gay).

      • Absolutely right, Viz is fucking pitiful these days. The reader’s letters and Profanisaurus are occasionally amusing, but surely the funniest content should be provided by the people who write the fucking thing?
        But no, just scream “Daily Mail!!!!” instead of trying. By the way, the FUCKING guardian likes the new Viz.

  5. The government maintained a strict neutrality during the Civil War but most rich cunts, especially northern rich cunts, supported the Confederacy because of the textile industry’s reliance on imported cotton. ( money always comes first) As newspapers were only bought by rich cunts (trash like us couldn’t read) it’s hardly surprising that a northern paper would support the South. Putting it in it’s historical context it makes perfect sense.
    However when you are pulling statues down because of the subjects 200 year old attitudes the libtards aren’t interested in historical context. Yes it’s a contradiction but neo liberalism is riddled with contradictions. They are setting the agenda so this won’t be mentioned in MSM. That’s the way it is.

    • We armed them and supplied ships to the confederate navy-we had to pay fortunes in compensation for that.
      That was the past.
      We made amends, in “spades” 😉, “they” need to move on too.
      Cunts.

  6. Now we must demand that the Guardian pays reparations for all the misery they have caused. Mind you, they will have to do it from non existent profits. It looks like we shall have to make do with burning the building and tarring and feathering Owen Jones plus any other of the cunts we can find.

  8. This toppling of statues is getting me right in the gut.
    I feel I’m being punched.

    • Yeats again,-

      ‘Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
      Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
      The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
      The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
      The best lack all conviction, while the worst
      Are full of passionate intensity.’

  9. The Guardian of what exactly?
    Woke propaganda?
    Commies?
    The Gays?
    Tar babies and assorted sand niggars?
    Fuck off.

  10. Anyone tried the Guardian Article Generator?
    Make your own headlines in the typeface of guardian columns and attach the name and portrait of your desired left-liberal wacko.

    I cant post a link as it gets flagged as spam.

  11. Talking of newspapers, I’ve just read about the Missourian newspaper which published a cartoon in which a white woman is being mugged by a black robber She shouts, “Somebody call 911!” and he replies, “Good luck with that lady. We defunded the police.”

    Sadly the owners and publisher resigned as soon as somebody whimpered, “wayy-ciist.”

    I remember when satire and comedy were allowed.

    • Well over 20 years ago the fucking bbc started portraying all muggers as white.

  12. Another whacking great Gwardian confederacy conspiracy theory involves why it never makes a profit despite costing two sobs a copy. It does not have to. All the colossal staff wages ect ect are paid out of a post war trust fund the Scot Trust (£1.1 billion as of 2018) and indeed all journalists are trousering members of said Trust. Many murky relationships and withheld details (alas all legal) involved but interesting to consider what goose’s arse that golden egg dropped oit of. Slave money I hear you cackle and I could not possibly comment but it appears that those who have done so have been assaulted by writs and manacled by The Law then shipped orf to the Colonies.

  13. The Guardian is a shithouse rag, the spiritual home of Little Owen Jones and his ilk.

  14. Bang on the guardian widely read by no one except BBC channel 4 and sky news rooms how it exists financially is beyond me. The lies it peddles socialist shit role as for bang on also regarding slave trade. If the blacks hadn’t been killing and capturing each other and selling captives to the slave traders things would have been different. Black white all colours complicit. Fuck off guardian nothing more the inked shit role. Oh and a cunt

  15. Breaking News

    Sir Nigel has been sacked by LBC for calling BLM an “extreme left Marxist organisation” and the “new Taliban.”
    The writing is on the wall.

    • Anyone not believing this is a fucking conspiracy needs the services of a psychiatrist. This is not said lightly or frivolously. I don’t do conspiracy theories, but this worm has just turned.

      The new Taliban is EXACTLY what the BLM movement is. Just not so well armed, yet.

      • Race riots, financial collapse,over-egged “pandemics”, looming mass unemployment,erosion of civil liberties,climate change hysteria,weak Govt……the future’s not really looking too rosy for the likes of us,is it ?
        Conspiracy ?….. I certainly believe so.

        Evening K.

      • Belated evening, Dick. We are as usual in complete agreement, so all is not quite lost…

      • I think it’s a plan for compulsory track and trace myself. Not only will it let people know you’ve got covid but we can see if you’ve been rioting as well.

    • Is this what they mean by ‘The New Normal’? Anybody who has a contra opinion that doesn’t suit the Libtards narrative is sacked. Kiss goodbye to free speech and democracy.That fucking cunt James O’Shithead apparently twatted in broken English “We got our station back.” Ok shithead let’s see how your fucking station gets on with no listeners.

      • Yeah, O’Shithead is crowing like the smarmy piece of shit he is. He’s a fucking disease carrying cockroach.

      • Fortunately Sir Nigel has his own YouTube channel.
        Though probably not for much longer, knowing those insipid Google functionaries…

  16. I wouldn’t wipe my arse with the grauniad for fear that little Owen Jones might like it.

    • The cotton barons were right orrible cunts.
      Oh the Guardian should do the honourable thing and fold.
      A cotton mill near me, being checked out by lottery funded archeologists, the owner was a Mr Samuel oldknow, he docked the workers wages for rent
      He owned the cottages
      Fuel, he supplied the wood & coal
      Food, he had allotments nearby, so once you got paid there was sweet fuck all left.
      He had a sign up saying workers kids had been stealing apples from the orchards and if caught the worker would be sacked, an homeless, and royally fucked.
      For a apple.
      White privelege in action eh?

      • He wasn’t a long lost Fiddler was he? Probably reminiscing right now, “They don’t make cunts like they used to”…..

      • Hehehe, yeah Dick would of liked him!
        ‘Good head for business’.. 😁😁

      • If I caught some brat stealing apples from my extensive fruit-orchards I’d have him and his family deported in chains to work alongside the dark-keys in the plantations.

        Evening LL
        Evening MNC

  17. Well, I wouldn`t want to wipe my sphincter on this rag, neither, as my arse contains less shite.

  18. Germany’s – of all places – Interior Minister or some such other important bod – recently published a report, which the analysis and conclusion of was that the particularly Western World-wide response to CoronaCrap was basically over-reactive bollocks and needn’t have been done.

    Of course, if your only news source is MSM, you’ll know nothing about that.

  19. Just as well there is no dumbfuckwanker virus. The World would end after all the SJW bandwagon jumping blm protests. We even had one in Lincoln for fucks sake! On close inspection of the media images the number of shoes on the wrong feet, shitlocks, (Dreadlocks but Shiite) odd coloured hair vacant expressions and so on pretty obvious that the majority were students from the uni and other fuckwits. The March ended at the cathedral with rousing speeches along the lines of White is shite, if your not angry your not wanking a panda or some bollocks. After this heartfelt display of solidarity the knee was taken for eight mins or so then they all fucked off feeling really smug and right on bro. Some darker hued marchers were noticed but very few.
    I would like to announce to the universe that I have totally given up with the majority of human beings. I would also like to point out that I will not apologise for any shit some nutter did in the past if he/she was white, bollocks, lump it you caaaants!!!!!!

  20. Lincoln didn’t want blacks in the US, free or as slaves. Not surprising the Gusrdian hated him. The Guardian has been shit for so long hasn’t it. Another juicy fact for the Guardian to chew on is that the democrats started the KKK.

    The guardian is a cunt.

  22. Lies, propaganda and complete made up bollocks sell papers. You only have to type in ‘Coronavirus Vaccine’ to see this. ‘Vaccine by Autumn’, ‘Vaccine will never be found’, ‘Vaccine by 2021’, ‘Vaccine will take 10 years to find’. I once went for some counselling for acute anxiety. The counsellor said do not get stressed over things that are not under your control i.e world events, politics, world will always have idiots etc. This was the soundest advice I’ve ever been given. I get the basic update for five minutes every day about Coronavirus, after that I switch off. I can see why The Donald gets totally fucked off with the media.

    • I’ve watched TV news for approx 2.4 minutes since 19th March. The media and its news is truly the reflector if not font of this global prolapse of utter fuckwittery.

  23. I’ve seen that name, Grauniad, here on nominations sometimes.

    What does it mean? Is that another name for the Guardian newspaper?

    • The dozy cunts once mispelt the name of their own paper. Once it was actually called The Grauniad.

      Sachin Nakrani is another odious Grauniad cunt. Look him up under his other name of Charlie Clitlicker.

  25. Anyone for a whip-round to pay for some posters?

    I suggest, “Built on Slavery” sticky-backed A3 or A2 sized big posters to stick on the Guardian’s glass monstrosity in York Way, preferably with super-strength glue.

    It’s only what they would want for themselves to assuage their guilt!

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