Come on Andy!

The Royal Box at Wimbledon is in sore need of a mass cunting. Apart from the Oscars and Baftas, I can’t think of an event or place where so many utter cunts are gathered together at the same time.

For a start, it’s not a box but seems to take up an entire fucking stand. I could understand if it was a little gold-plated box where Her Majesty could have a sit-down with whoever’s been anointing the royal bristols since Phillips’s demise. Perhaps a basket for a favoured corgi and kneeling space for one or two slaves.

Instead we have an embankment the size of the South Downs in which the likes of hee-hawing Prince William, Eddie ‘bearded-pedos-in-dresses-are-women’ Redmayne and whichever fucking Beckham needs a bit of camera time can sit and gloat to their heart’s content, along with an endless collection of other cunts who will never have to stand in a queue, catch a bus or pay to watch a fucking movie (or tennis match for that matter).

I could understand if the stand opposite had a small balcony for a sniper to pick the cunts off one by one, or even better a mounted great fucking sten gun to make a giant cunt-mince but no, it’s just a swathe of seats for lesser cunts.

What’s more, the fuckers are placed behind the service line so that they don’t even have to hurt their wringeable necks watching the ball being tapped from left to right.

I had more to say but I’ve wound myself up so much I’m off to have a poo and a lie-down until I feel better.

Cunts.

Nominated by – Galted

Would ye happen to be wantin’ a bit of Plutonium?

Scammers need a cunting for being the low life snake shit scum that they are.

New scam one of my customers had the other day, he was trying to sell his car, 2 greasy eastern euro Romany types apparently from east London turn up wanting to buy the car, they look over it asking questions and generally distracting our hero.

One of the cunts calls him to the back of the car pointing out some bollocks while the other cunt is climbing over the engine, then cunt number 2 then distracts him at the engine end pointing out more bollocks and the its test drive time [the car had been run earlier that day to get petrol].

The car goes down the road and its like something form a Bond film, smoke like you wouldnt beleive, they bring the car back, cunt number 1 dips his finger in the header tank and says its full of oil and with the smoke, that means the head gasket has failed, we’ll take the car off your hands for 5k a quarter of the advertised price cuz it will cost more than that to fix, they then tried to force our hero to sell the car at that price, eventually he fucks them off and after much hassle blocks their number.

As an afterthought our hero checks his cctv to find these pieces of shit squirted oil up the exhaust and put oil in the header tank, its now costing him money to get it all flushed out, but at least these fuckers didnt get the car, what a bunch of cunts.

So be on the look out if your selling a car, answering your phone, opening an email, these worthless peices of shit will do anything to con someone…gas the cunts i reckon.

Nominated by – Fuglyucker

See that person milking a shit song for 25 years? That’s you that is.

Oh fuck that song again. ‘Its coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home’. How I hate it. A lone drunken voice the other night- ‘It’s coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home…’

Is England really the ‘home’ of football? I suppose it was invented here. It’s such a plodding rhythm. ‘Its coming home, its coming home, football’s coming home’

‘Three Lions on the shirt’. But there arent 3 lions now are there? I thought it was changed to a lion, a lioness, a cub. A lion, a lioness and a cub Jules Rimet still gleaming’. Doesnt really work.

I hate that as well-‘Jules Rimet still gleaming’. Bit scrupulous here but it’s the cup that gleams not the person.

Could have got that wrong. Is it called the Jules Rimet trophy? Anyway the line is shit. I suppose I better confess that I did watch Fantasy Footbbal was a bit of a fan. All matey like with Stato there. But then NO. Suddenly I hated it.

You can just tell Skinner brainstormed the England team and our poor showing over the years. And set down the memories. I hate that kind of lyric writing. Its just too easy.

Oh well if they win will be hearing much more of it. We might as well just join in. After 3:

‘Its coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home, its coming home, It’s coming home, football’s coming home.

Nominated by – Miles Plastic 

I’d like to add that David Baddiel sings flatter than Patsy Kensit’s chest.

Do not google image search her unless you wish to end up on some sort of a register.

Can some kind soul out there in the great IsAC community help a confused old git to get a grip on a weird aspect of 21st century manners and mores?

It’s the fault of ‘The Crown’ actress Emma Corrin, who appears to have some ‘gender’ issues. Emma has courageously come out to tell the world that she’s *gasp!* on ‘a journey with a lot of twists and turns’, but that she’s ’embracing it’.

She’s *wow!* changed her personal pronouns to ‘she/they’ (I know), and shared her ‘intimate’ experience of buying her first breast binder on Instagram, as you do.
So here’s where my confusion comes in.

Why does a young woman want to be ‘pronouned’ as ‘she’, yet flatten her breasts to look like a young lad? Is she wanting to identify as female, male, or as something else along the sliding scale of 50, 70 or 100 genders?

Answers to IsAC please (no answers please we don’t care or even know who she is), always assuming that you give a flying fuck about the ‘oh look at me’ antics of yet another self-absorbed, narcissisitic sleb.

Oh and judging by the photographs, she’s wasted her cash on the breast binder…

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9758967/Emma-Corrin-recalls-buying-binder-details-intimate-journey.html

Nominated by – Ron Knee

Really she should just sponsor this site.

Hands up if you think that Flabbott the Hutt is, shall we say, a couple of aces short of a full deck. Mmm… that’s all followers of IsAC then.
Things just go from bad to worse for poor old Flabbott though. She’s starting to make ‘Sleepy Joe’ sound intelligent, and that takes serious talent.
Flabbott is a fucking idiot. Have a little listen to her latest statement on Labour policies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx7lDWgwpOE

(it’s a short clip)

I rest my case, ladies and gentlemen (and anything in between) of the jury.

Nominated by – Ron Knee