A Yo Ho Ho ! of a cunting for the Border Force / Coastguard / RNLI water taxi service. With a side cunting for the French authorities, who they are in cahoots with.
You know the score, Cunters. Bunch of mainly peaceful cunts get to France, obtain a boat, by whatever means, then set out on the jolly old briny for Dearest Blighty. Cuntish, French maritime forces escort them half way across, where they are ‘ rescued ‘ by our stunningly efficient aquatic ring and ride service.
Aforementioned foreign cunts are then transported to the land of milk and honey, where they will show their gratitude by murdering, raping, thieving and scrounging.
Today is the 6th June, a memorable day, the question is.
Was it all worth it ?

Nominated by Jack The Cunter

I nominate Tik Tok, the new platform for complete cunts.

Anybody seen this crap?

They are all there. All the talentless, tattooed twats who dance around in their house or garden miming to hip-hop “songs” or doing duets of ‘you’re the one that I want’ with other fuckwits.

You don’t need to be able to sing or play an instrument or make up a funny story.

No, you just move about in your chav clothes, poking your fat tongue out, pulling stupid expressions and adding ‘special effects’ in a pathetic attempt to make the whole yawningly boring episode seem interesting.

Fucking show-off cunts.

Nominated by Lord Helpuss

Right, I have to nominate Tiktok adverts. More specifically, that one with the really annoying dark key called Shem and his mother. I swear, every third YouTube video I see has this advert either beforehand or as a midroll. I won’t share it here so as to spare the piss of my fellow cunters from completely evaporating, but it is so ear-splittingly awful that it makes me want to put my phone through the fucking wall.

Everything about it – from the mock Jamaican accents to the faux-childlike voices – enrages me like no other advert, including the ones featuring those bastard meerkats, possibly can. Fuck you Tiktok – selling your users’ data to the Chink government is bad enough but this advert is a new low

Nominated by General Tso’s Chiggun

I’d like to cunt the mainstream media. A cheesy scumbag like George Floyd gets killed by a cop and we’re expected to mourn that as some kind of earth shattering tragedy.

David Dorn, a black 77 year old retired cop gets gunned down by looters live on Facebook while trying to stave off thugs looting his mate’s shop… Not a Dickie Bird. Nothing. Not from Auntie Beeb anyway, just confirmation that Chauvin’s been charged with murder, and then the usual shitty recipes, programme plugs and barmy lefty cack.

If I didn’t know any better I would say that some Black Lives Matter more than others, especially when they serve to drive the narrative that the West is an evil, unjust hell hole. I actually don’t want to make too much light of this because I’ve seen the footage of the poor guy dying and it’s fucking heart breaking. David Dorn – RIP.

Beeb, Graun, New York Times- you’re CUNTS!

Nominated by Whiffy McBiffy

A green and pleasant land, Elgar optional, cunting please for Ms Yates, head of the UK Travel thingmabob. The reason Ms Yates has boiled my piss is that today she told a Parliamentary committee, made up of the usual fuckwit know-alls, that she would like to see an extra bank holiday this October to help holiday companies to recoup some of the money they lost over Easter and the May bank holidays

Has this daft woman not realised that every day since March 23rd has been a bank holiday for the majority of people (I agree there should be some reward for essential workers – from supermarket workers, bus drivers and refuse collectors as well as the usual suspects in the NHS) but who the fuck would want to spend a day camping in the wet shortening days of October to make up for the beauty and promise of spring.

Pull yourself together you Guardian reading arsewipe.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Dodging the Dog Shit and Pavement Crayoning – If it’s not bad enough having to plan your walk with military precision lately e.g sideways walking to avoid some likely lurgy cunt, two metres, two metres, two metres ARHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I now have to glance downwards on the pavement every two steps to make sure I don’t walk in some freshly laid dog egg.

Seems to be even more lately, what the fuck is it with the cunting dog owners? I must admit I am OCD with cleanliness, clean pavements, no litter, no graffiti, no fucking chewing gum. And don’t get me fucking started on the kids crayoning shit on the pavements lately also, if you want to draw, do it in a book you cunts.

Nominated by Bob Frapples