Would ye happen to be wantin’ a bit of Plutonium?

Scammers need a cunting for being the low life snake shit scum that they are.

New scam one of my customers had the other day, he was trying to sell his car, 2 greasy eastern euro Romany types apparently from east London turn up wanting to buy the car, they look over it asking questions and generally distracting our hero.

One of the cunts calls him to the back of the car pointing out some bollocks while the other cunt is climbing over the engine, then cunt number 2 then distracts him at the engine end pointing out more bollocks and the its test drive time [the car had been run earlier that day to get petrol].

The car goes down the road and its like something form a Bond film, smoke like you wouldnt beleive, they bring the car back, cunt number 1 dips his finger in the header tank and says its full of oil and with the smoke, that means the head gasket has failed, we’ll take the car off your hands for 5k a quarter of the advertised price cuz it will cost more than that to fix, they then tried to force our hero to sell the car at that price, eventually he fucks them off and after much hassle blocks their number.

As an afterthought our hero checks his cctv to find these pieces of shit squirted oil up the exhaust and put oil in the header tank, its now costing him money to get it all flushed out, but at least these fuckers didnt get the car, what a bunch of cunts.

So be on the look out if your selling a car, answering your phone, opening an email, these worthless peices of shit will do anything to con someone…gas the cunts i reckon.

Nominated by – Fuglyucker

See that person milking a shit song for 25 years? That’s you that is.

Oh fuck that song again. ‘Its coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home’. How I hate it. A lone drunken voice the other night- ‘It’s coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home…’

Is England really the ‘home’ of football? I suppose it was invented here. It’s such a plodding rhythm. ‘Its coming home, its coming home, football’s coming home’

‘Three Lions on the shirt’. But there arent 3 lions now are there? I thought it was changed to a lion, a lioness, a cub. A lion, a lioness and a cub Jules Rimet still gleaming’. Doesnt really work.

I hate that as well-‘Jules Rimet still gleaming’. Bit scrupulous here but it’s the cup that gleams not the person.

Could have got that wrong. Is it called the Jules Rimet trophy? Anyway the line is shit. I suppose I better confess that I did watch Fantasy Footbbal was a bit of a fan. All matey like with Stato there. But then NO. Suddenly I hated it.

You can just tell Skinner brainstormed the England team and our poor showing over the years. And set down the memories. I hate that kind of lyric writing. Its just too easy.

Oh well if they win will be hearing much more of it. We might as well just join in. After 3:

‘Its coming home, it’s coming home, football’s coming home, its coming home, It’s coming home, football’s coming home.

Nominated by – Miles Plastic 

I’d like to add that David Baddiel sings flatter than Patsy Kensit’s chest.

Do not google image search her unless you wish to end up on some sort of a register.

Can some kind soul out there in the great IsAC community help a confused old git to get a grip on a weird aspect of 21st century manners and mores?

It’s the fault of ‘The Crown’ actress Emma Corrin, who appears to have some ‘gender’ issues. Emma has courageously come out to tell the world that she’s *gasp!* on ‘a journey with a lot of twists and turns’, but that she’s ’embracing it’.

She’s *wow!* changed her personal pronouns to ‘she/they’ (I know), and shared her ‘intimate’ experience of buying her first breast binder on Instagram, as you do.
So here’s where my confusion comes in.

Why does a young woman want to be ‘pronouned’ as ‘she’, yet flatten her breasts to look like a young lad? Is she wanting to identify as female, male, or as something else along the sliding scale of 50, 70 or 100 genders?

Answers to IsAC please (no answers please we don’t care or even know who she is), always assuming that you give a flying fuck about the ‘oh look at me’ antics of yet another self-absorbed, narcissisitic sleb.

Oh and judging by the photographs, she’s wasted her cash on the breast binder…

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9758967/Emma-Corrin-recalls-buying-binder-details-intimate-journey.html

Nominated by – Ron Knee

Really she should just sponsor this site.

Hands up if you think that Flabbott the Hutt is, shall we say, a couple of aces short of a full deck. Mmm… that’s all followers of IsAC then.
Things just go from bad to worse for poor old Flabbott though. She’s starting to make ‘Sleepy Joe’ sound intelligent, and that takes serious talent.
Flabbott is a fucking idiot. Have a little listen to her latest statement on Labour policies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx7lDWgwpOE

(it’s a short clip)

I rest my case, ladies and gentlemen (and anything in between) of the jury.

Nominated by – Ron Knee

Written by the same person who did Guardians of the Galaxy fact fans.

Globe Theatre’s Romeo and Juliet (2021)

The Globe are staging Romeo and Juliet with a new twist this autumn, described as a “radical reinterpretation”. The Globe’s promotional literature will give you an idea of their approach – “Verona is sick.

Its structures broken and its citizens in a state of desperation. When a system favours the few, the many are left with nothing but unhealthy choices.” Yes, forget the New Oxford Shakespeare (which you might have read at school) this is the New Woke Shakespeare (which might be sponsored by BLM).

Romeo and Juliet are dark-keys in this version and its about teenage angst, suicide and the alleged failure of Society to accommodate young, specifically dark-key, people. In this version the Capulets and the Montagues are crazy drug overlords. There will be drugs and armed gang fights.

Behind the star struck lovers a screen will project facts and statistics about crime and mental health. In the words of one critic (Celia Walden in The Telegraph), this production reduces Shakespeare to “pshycobabble”.

Why does the Globe have to do this? They are meant to preserve Shakespeare’s heritage not traduce it.

This striving for contemporary relevance in order to reflect woke preoccupations lessens the relevance of Shakespeare. The great thing about good literature is that each generation can interpret it freely according to their own understanding.

The freedom to do this rests with the reader and does not have to be forced on us by woke directors using cheap gimmicks. You may chose to see Romeo and Juliet as a parable of modern social decay or you may chose to view it as a parable of love doomed by familial hostility.

The choice should be that of the reader. That’s what Shakespeare intended and to force a woke message into his work is the same as to say “I know better than the author and better than you….I’m smarter than Shakespeare and smarter than you”.

As the Bard himself put it – “cunting is such sweet sorrow”. Or perhaps more apt – ‘How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!’

https://www.shakespearesglobe.com/whats-on/romeo-and-juliet-2021/?gclid=CjwKCAjw_o-HBhAsEiwANqYhp-riB-3fesL9REsCMDuxM_m07htYS_fixv19b4X7SVSnDB5n_9WoyhoCyCgQAvD_BwE

Nominated by – Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine