As Elvis might have said, ‘Lord have mur-see!’ You’ve got to laugh, because the only other alternative is to burst into tears at the antics of HM Inspectorate for Prisons.
After a random visit to HMP Northumberland, the inspectors have slammed the nick for ‘not prioritising diversity and equality’, and also for providing ‘inadequate support to minority groups’.
Apparently LGBTXYZ inmates were unhappy with the fact that they weren’t given enough opportunity ‘to meet with each other’; Ffs, it’s a prison, not a social club. Also, the inspection report indicated that it was ‘difficult’ for lags of a certain inclination to obtain make-up and women’s clothing. Christ on a bike, whatever happened to the notion of a prison uniform? It’s not a fashion house, you cunts.
Nevertheless cunters will be pleased and relieved to note that prison management has acknowledged its abject failures, and is working to produce an ‘action plan’. We can all sleep a little more peacefully in our beds tonight then, knowing that Big Harriet on E Wing will soon have easier access to Ladyshave and false eyelashes.
Well, the lunatics may not have quite taken over the asylum yet, but they’ve certainly taken over HM Inspectorate for Prisons. Gawd ‘elp us.
Nominated by : Ron Knee
