Now then chaps a challenging wank bank picture for you this morning. C.A.

Piles. Chalfonts. Farmers. Plymouths. Nurembergs. are cunts.

Around five years ago, I had a nasty bout of gastroenteritis in Eastern Europe. I ended up blowing my back doors out and giving myself a robust case of piles.

It turns out they didn’t drop off, so I’ve ended up with a ringpiece that resembles the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.

Anyway, I’ve finally surrendered to years of constant itchy arse, suppositories and weapons-grade Roid Raider cream. Next month, The good ol’ NHS will be cutting the spiteful little cunts off.

However, I’m fucking terrified. I have an embarrassingly low pain threshold, and a pal of mine who had his farmers lopped off said it was like sitting on a hornet’s next for about a month after.

The only benefit I can see here is a liquid diet after the op for a fortnight as I am a bit fat. The GP didn’t find it funny when I suggested a “Farmhouse Cider Cleanse” to really flush my system.

Have any of you fellow cunters suffered with the dreaded Arse Grapes of Wrath or even had them off?

Let me know.

Nominated by Cuntis_cuntis.

are cunts.

For giving in to pressure from a small minority, who are offended by the logo, as it might affect children.

The original Tate and Lyle logo is of a rotting lion carcass, with bees hovering round it.

Hands up, anyone, who knew that.
Also, that it represents a Biblical story featuring Samson?

I can see a Bud moment coming on.

Link to follow, apologies.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

And Jack The Cunter is of the same mind with this observation

Tate and Lyle are cunts. The oldest brand logo in the world is to get a ‘ makeover ‘. To ‘ refresh the brand’s legacy to appeal to a 21st century audience.

We’re talking about Lyle’s Golden Syrup here, a favourite of mine since childhood.
Everyone is familiar with the green and gold tin, depicting a dead lion with bees swarming around it.

It bears the legend ‘ Out of the strong came forth sweetness ‘.

This is where the problem lies. Abram Lyle ( not Abraham, as quoted in the link ) was a staunch Christian and used the Bible story of Samson killing a lion as the inspiration for the logo.

Now we all know that anything Christian, Victorian and transatlantic slave trade associated, is horribly racist and hurty to any non white’s and other faith’s, so some fucking wet wipe at Tate and Lyle has decided to jump the gun and fuck the nasty Christian linked lion off, before some limp wristed , woke twat starts pointing the finger. After all, we mustn’t upset the dark keys or peacefuls.

Tate and Lyle say the original logo will stay on the ‘ Heritage Tin ‘ but don’t say how long that tin will stay in production.
What a bunch of cunts.
Is nothing fucking sacred ?

The Independent0

(Be afraid! Be VERY afraid for tomorrow morning’s nom at 7am !! – Day Admin)

is a cunt.

Students at this prestigious hub of learning are aghast and suffering mental trauma at the inherent racism of this seat of learning upon the announcement of the axing of the ‘African history’ course.
A quote if you please:

“The legal firm Leigh Day now has now initiated legal action on behalf of a group of 14 students who were either studying on the course or conducting PhD research and who allege that they have suffered discrimination and breach of contract because of the decision.”

Now, I’m of a mind to suggest that the best colleges to study African history would ideally be in one of the great African cities, would that not be appropriate and relevant ? After all, to offer such studies in anything other than an African University would surely be a most reprehensible act of Cultural appropriation otherwise ?
Having wasted over half a million quid on this pile of virtue signalling wank and the obvious stifling of 14, yes, 14 students careers it would seem that that’s an opportunity for more ‘gibs’ and reparations.
I mean, who needs STEM graduates when you’re a self-styled expert on mud huts, washing in cows piss and chucking missionaries in cauldrons anyway.
14 so called students, is this what it’s come to ?
All hail St George of fried chicken and watermelon.

Archive

Nominated by Pooter.

And the piss poor quality of the stories used by them is a cunt.

bbcnews

May I draw your attention to the item in the link above. How the fuck is this story a headline news item?
Honestly!!

Some mincing homo with an an arse filled with spunk probably died of bot-rot is headline news.

FFS a story about fluffy the bunny rabbit or girl for that matter; stuck in a cage would be of more interest to the general public.

Additional vomit inducing link below.

bbcnews

Nominated by Sam Beau joined together by C.A.

(We have an extra nom set for 5pm today – Day Admin)

It’s that time to board the house of Lords gravy train as its peerage time..

The political kraken that is plaid cymru have announced the replacement of their current peer, who is said to be retiring..

So the party had a vote, Elfyn Llwyd polled
180, Carmen Smith 70. Well done Mr llwyd.
Whoops that’s not right, so let’s overrule the decision. How democratic of you..

So arise lady Smith.. who believes like her party that the Lords should be scrapped..
Something we can agree on.

Still it’s nice to see democracy and integrity still flourish in this country.

Well enjoy your 332 pound a day and I hope you like the smell of cabbage farts you fucking hypocrite..

iNews

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt