(Walker still playing Pocket Billiards outside Court! – Day Admin)

They say there is nowt so queer as folk and Mr Walker proved this to be true when he went courting, ended up being caught and appearing in court after a brief encounter at Clapham Junction frailway station:

MyLondon News

How different to those innocent meetings between Dame Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard just after the war.

The dirty old bugger was found guilty, but I wonder what will happen when Yvette Cooper is Home Secretary? – such men as Mr Walker will probably get a safe seat – but not in a railway station. He is just another sort of wanker.

Nominated by: W.C. Boggs

It is now 10 years since this disaster occurred and this plane still hasn’t been found. The poor relatives need closure and the mystery needs solving to make aviation safer.

A bit of wing/flaperon turned up around 2015, so we know the plane went into the ocean and wasn’t abducted by aliens (there were daft theories at the time that aliens abducted it fgs). I guess that the bits of washed up wreckage tell the relatives that the plane is under the water and their relatives rest there too. Nobody knows why any of this happened, total cunt of a mystery.

For sure the plane was turned, the transponder was shut off and it went in a completely different direction to its destination. The pilot may have planned the whole thing, may have, we don’t know. To this day it is still possible for a pilot to turn off the transponder and apparently there are scenarios where a pilot might need to do that. The biggest air plane mystery ever. I just hope one day it is found. You never know, that black box may even have stood up to all the punishment it has taken.

Fuck going on a plane.

aljazeera

Nominated by: Cuntologist

(I suppose the world’s media will transcend on Paris for this lovely jubbly work’s outing, while banging on about Climate Change!- Day Admin)

As I’m sure all you avid sports fans are aware, Paris is hosting this year’s Festival of Sports Performance Enhancement sponsored by Eli Lilly, Moderna and Astra Zeneca. Yes, it’s the Olympic Games.

To showcase French culture to the world the organisers decided to have an Edith Piaf song performed at the Opening Ceremony. All well and good. Except the person they’ve chosen to sing it is an African hip hop artist, and my Gallic friends tell me anyone over the age of 35 in France is extremely pissed off about it.

Cue the inevitable cries of ‘far-right racism’ from the French Liberal Establishment aimed at anyone daring to criticise. The organisers are digging their heels in, so make a date in your diaries for 26th July Cunters to hear ‘La vie en rose’ performed chimpanzee-style.

France 24 News

For the benefit of the Horn Section, the lady in question performing in her underwear:

You Tube

Nominated by: Geordie Twatt

India Willoughby’s a bit of a twat.

For those of you who may not know, Presenter and ‘celebrity’ Willoughby is a biological male who has had the full nip and tuck, and now lives as a female.

Fair enough I say, not really anybody else’s business. The trouble is, Willoughby keeps making it our business by going on and on about it. The latest is that following a soshull meeja kerfuffle, Willoughby has reported Jo ‘Jugs’ Rowling to the Hurty Wurty Feelings Police for ‘hate crime’, as ‘Jugs’ refuses to acknowledge that Willoughby is a woman.

‘I’m legally a woman’ bleats Willoughby. Well so fucking what? That’s fine by me, and society has gone a long way towards accommodating your aspiration. But that’s not enough, is it? Because YOU believe that you’re a woman, everybody else has to fall in line and believe it too.

Well I’m afraid that the world doesn’t work like that. Jesus was born in a stable; that didn’t make him a donkey. The fact is that you’re becoming a crashing bore on the subject. Just remember; ‘oh the gift that God would give us, to see ourselves as others see us’.

I’m fed up of hearing about it, so pipe down, there’s a good chap, er lass, whatever…

Daily Record

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Additional link by Sam Beau.

youtube

This afternoon reminded me of the reason i don’t really enjoy a buffet or spread, even with family.

Unfortunately my brother is prone to sniffles and sneezes over anything, my foghorn sister-in-law coughs loudly and obnoxiously (there is very little she does that isn’t obnoxious) and my dad coughs, sneezes and splutters over anything with a kick, be it white pepper, horseradish, mustard or chilli.

I decided I’d had my fill after a plate of this weekend’s offerings after the family had been in the kitchen, coughing, spluttering and sneezing.

No dessert thanks. I don’t care how nice it would’ve been, or that I paid for half the food. it’s now covered in droplets of sputum.

As the relatives on my dad’s side are all quite greedy (they have always been keen groakers at family meals), i wonder if it is a way of marking the food they intend on ingesting later in the evening. All I can say about it is it’s fucking disgusting, and the main reason i never use buffets in restaurants.

It also seems those who use the buffet, particularly those who frequent AYCE emporia/barns on the outskirts of large provincial towns are malnourished members of the underclass, strangers to green coloured food (they probably eat more blue food than green – wonder if there’s a ratio of green to blue for fat cunts on mobility scooters NHS dieticians have developed) and thus prone to coughing, spluttering and sneezing from a lack of vitamins, and in turn, infect each other via ladles of lurid sludge steeped in MSG.

Heart News

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime