A cunting for Inger-land!

I was unfortunate enough to see the last half of Inger-land’s game against Brazil. i hadn’t seen much football recently and thought i’d watch.

We were pretty hopeless and made few chances against a Brazil side that is a shadow of its former self. Southgate’s timid style is frustrating and boring, and not even the newest wonderboy Bellingham could change things.

That’s the trouble with Inger-land and our media; there’s always a figure the nation pins its hopes on. it used to be Gazza, then it was Beckham, then it was Rooney. I hoped the focus on youth would mean the media would not find a poster boy just yet, but Bellingham seems to be emerging. Let’s not forget where the lad learned his trade; Germany. The Bundesliga was where he emerged, and now it is with Real Madrid under an Italian coach he is flourishing.

The media fill the fans with nonsense about Inger-land winning and flog them beer, flags and shirts. I used to find it funny that a creature like Wayne Rooney was the face of Inger-lish hopes.

Now it’s Rashford, Bellingham and Saka, perhaps Foden. The temporary football maniacs who follow Inger-land at internationals only seem to know Inger-land’s players and less about tactics. Half probably still think they’re playing 4-4-2.

We have woke bollocks to celebrate thanks to the weasels of the FA and corporate cunts and the pundits, but just as annoying back in the noughties was the media obsession with WaGs, a herd of orange slappers who next to the stunning partners of the german and italian players, look like cheap bimboes. Inger land can’t even get WaGs right.

Come the Euros i will watch for the football, and follow the likes of France, Italy, Spain, Holland and Croatia as they know how to play football and are teams not overshadowed by one player’s media hype. Inger-land may not have the star man at the moment, but the hype over the diversity of the players rather than the team’s potential will be rampant, and Southgate will still use boring tactics and lose against the first real opposition.
He is just another FA apparatchik.

The ultimate betrayal was the gaslighting by the FA and media over online racism after the shoot-out against Italy 4 years ago also makes me not want to support Inger-land. Be crap at football, but don’t blame the supporters for online hate from the middle east and India. That cowardice lost them my support forever.

BBC News

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

If only!

It seems the government are going to be desperately beastly to student creatures if they call an election in October. It will only be a few weeks after “Freshers week” so they will be too pissed, er, sorry, I mean the “authorities” will not have enough time to collate all the addresses for these young idiots to put their cross on the form to elect that nice Sir Starmer, the multimillionaire who likes to pretend he knows all about poverty and not being able to pay the bills (his dad was a toolmaker, you know).

AOL News

Interesting to note no one of the three leading students in the foreground are white. One is Chinky the other two looked mixed race (or half castes as we were once allowed to describe them).

When should elections be called? August is out because they will all be on holiday, ditto September, October will upset the students, apparently, November they will be getting ready for Xmas, January and February is too cold, March and April is Easter time, and May June and July it will be too hot.

When will be the right time for Abdul senior to vote on behalf of his household of fifteen to ensure a Labour government – and if they call a postal strike, they’re fucked.

It’s such a hard life being a student.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

I’ve always enjoyed a good conspiracy theory, even if they’re mostly, shall we say, surreal or bizarre.

Occasionally a theory will seem to have some real substance to it e.g. there’s a really strong case to be made that the CIA, the Mob, the Cuban exiles, big oil, or a combination of all of them did for JFK.

Mostly however they just seem outlandish. You know what I mean; NASA faked the moon landings, Aliens crashed at Roswell, aircraft contrails contain poison or mind-warping drugs, a ‘New World Order’ of shadowy elites seeks global hegemony, etc and so forth.

Some of my favourite ‘conspiracies’ focus on the world of ‘celebrity’, and frankly belong in the strange and weird world of tinfoil hat wearing fantasists. One positive thing in their favour however is their huge capacity to entertain us all. It’s real ‘man down the pub’ stuff.

For your edification, Elvis faked his death to escape the limelight and seek seclusion in the remote Appalachians… or is on the run after the Mob put a contract on him for informing on them to the Feds, you chose. Lizzie and Phil were space lizards. Michelle Obama is really Michael. Macca died in a car crash and was replaced by a body double, who’s been performing as him ever since. The security services did for Diana. Taylor Swift is a Satanist, and Stevie Wonder isn’t blind. John Lennon’s killer was part of a black ops mind control programme.

Right now there’s a whole new show on the road. We’re in the middle of a real mother of a conspiracy theory, which has brought about a state of utter meltdown in the world press, social media and the internet. It is, of course, the ‘something’s happened to Kate’ furore. Naturally it couldn’t be anything as mundane as the fact that the lass has had serious surgery and is taking time out of the public eye to recover. Oh no.

So far we’ve had a proper good pick and mix on offer. She’s far iller than has been made out; she’s got cancer or something. She’s had plastic surgery. She’s pregnant. She and William are estranged after he had an affair and she’s fled the scene (an additional titbit is that he belted her in the process). She’s had a complete nervous breakdown blah de blah. Mercifully, no one has yet claimed that she’s been abducted by aliens; at least, as far as I know.

And there’s my own theory of choice. There’s a medium on the net claiming that spirits have told her that Kate has sunk into an irreversible coma, and body doubles are being used while a clone replacement is being made ready. A fucking clone, would you believe? And there are idiots out there swallowing this stuff.

Oh in one respect all this stuff is hugely entertaining, and it’s free. But on the other hand it’s plain batshit crazy. There are some very strange individuals out there coming up with it, and most of them, I suspect, are spending far too much time in a bedroom in their mom’s house, goggle eyed in front of a computer screen. They could really do with getting out more, if only for their own good.

Fandomwire

Nominated by: Ron Knee

is a cunt.

Apparently theatre is too white, male, blah blah and it’s the fault of someone born in the 16th century. What’s most hilarious is that this study is costing 800 grand! What the fuck! How many DIE officers could they have hired for that amount?

Keep an eye out for this ‘study’ which is due to report in two years time.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Dark Key Cunt.

Howdy-do-dee dere honey!. Old has-been Barack Obama backed into the limelight yesterday (March 18th) to pay a courtesy call on Rishi Sunak, but that was just to get cheap publicity, innit, because his real purpose from rising from the political dead was to enjoy dem red beans and rice with his old bruv David Lammy:

As I watched the old wank stain grinning like a loon as he entered through the door of No 10, I couldn’t help feeling that first through the door in October, with an equally rictus grin will be Anthony Blair, yet another of yesterdays men, determined to scrape the last bit of authority off his boots as he joins Kweer Charmer in his new home. At least Obama didn’t bring his ugly wife with him – Blair will probably be joined by his old power bottom Mandy. perhaps even Alistair Campbell, provided they can sober hikm up.

Why do these old has-beens find it so difficult to understand that they should have fucked off years ago, instead of trying to bathe in reflected glory.

And what possible advice can old Bollock Obama have to give to know-it-all Lammy?.

Fuck off back to America, Obama – dat cotton won’t pick itself. Mammy!

standard

Nominated by W.C.Boggs.