Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Warwick Davis

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Why is this bumptious little midget cunt popping up everywhere presenting game shows and the like? Biggest part orf the deformed dwarf is his ego. Oh yes, his arse might skim the pavement and he clearly has no discernable talent other than he’s the perfect size to clean the shite and sanitary pads out orf a blocked khazi from the inside but this does not stop the little cunt giving it more rabbit than Sainsburys. The tiny tosser reckons himself more than somewhat and no other cunt has the moxi to break pc taboo and tell this little cunt to fuck orf and go back to his day job in a dwarf tossing circus.

Calls himself “an actor who just happens to be short” when he means “a midget who just happens to think he’s an actor”. A three star cunt. Married to another midget and guess what? All his kids are deformed midgets as well. Nice one daddy. Think he’s worth another two stars for that. Five star cunt.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Fuck me! The desperate TV Johnnies have revived Celebrity Squares! What the fuck for? It was total shite the first time round! But no – wait a mo! It’s got worse…

There’s some hopeless short-arsed cunt fronting it!

Isn’t this the same cunt that played Marvin the Paranoid Android? He was much better at that…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Lana Del Rey

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I used to think that Leonard Cohen recorded the ultimate songs to slit your throat to until I listened to ‘Ultraviolence’, the current album from American singer songwriter Elizabeth Woolridge Grant – better known as Lana Del Rey.

Now I like music and like to pride myself as being able to listen to anything that is well done even if it’s not to my taste. I like punk, heavy metal, rock, folk, opera, pop. I can even listen to U2 (who I hate), James Taylor, Pavarotti, the Beatles and fuck knows what else, but I failed trying to listen to this crock of shite.

As far as I can see, Lana is trying to jump on the Kate Bush revival bandwagon with this offering and failing dismally. She whines on – and I do mean whines – in an unintelligible mumble that makes it impossible to make out more than the odd word here and there. The melodies are little more than dirges. I can’t comment on the lyrics because I can’t make them out, Honestly, I can’t – and I tried.

The album contains a parental advisory warning sticker for explicit lyrics but it’s completely unnecessary given her appalling diction and overechoed vocals.

I got to the fourth track before I couldn’t stand it any longer. It’s by far the worst music I’ve heard for years and, believe me, I’ve heard some dreadful shite. But at least I usually manage to get to the end of an album before I delete it. But not this time.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Gary Neville

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Gary Neville is a cunt…

This crap moustached gobshite should (along with the rest of The Class Of 92) shut the fuck up…

Nominated by: Norman

Apparently, Gary Neville has written an autobiography which is really impressive as most footballers can’t even write their own names.

It really must be a rivetting read. ‘How I earned shed loads of dosh kicking a ball around on a bit of grass.’

Boring cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Russell Brand [4]

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Q: How do you make a living by being a total cunt?
A: Change your name to Russell Brand and just be a total cunt.

Tosspot so-called comedian Russell Brand has launched his own YouTube channel called ‘The Trews”. What’s it all about? Well according to Brand “my daily show ‘The Trews’ is where I give you the true news so you don’t have to invest any money in buying newspapers that charge you for the privilege of keeping your consciousness imprisoned in a tiny box of ignorance and lies.”

Pretentious little fucking shitbag cunt! He even nicked the name from a Canadian hard rock band. I doubt he ever had an original thought of his own in his entire life.

The Trews. FFS! Watch it at your peril!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Adrian Chiles [4]

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Adrian Chiles, face like a well slapped arse and the presence of a hippo wallowing in the mud. Huge campaign to get him away from commentating on football before he destroyed the game, for me it was getting him off TV full stop before I put a boot through the telly.

AND his face and voice was the reason my Alsatian turned gay, I’m certain…

Nominated by: Lord of the Cunts