Cats

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Do Foxes eat Cats? Or more rather can they be trained to like feline meat?

I’m fucking fed of the neighbours cats shitting on the front street (in the piles of gravel that council workers can’t be arsed to sweep up no less) so that I can’t have the windows open in the front of the house, because on a hot day the cat shit stinks.

And I can’t sit in the back garden because the little cunts have tag team shitting contests in my herbaceous borders, which also smell ripe on a hot day.

I’m not allowed to poison them, or take them over to Derbyshire. Old Reynard and family like the bins but there can’t be much sustenance in them, maybe I could just fillet a few kitties and give him a taste for them…

Nominated by: The Captain

Crisis Actors

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I witnessed a fight in our town last night on my way home from the pub, the usual drunks fighting over a taxi or a kebab, or some slag, I know not.

But it turns out they were all crisis actors,

The council want to pedestrianize the main high street but there is huge opposition from the local shops who fear that business will be affected. So the council have hired in some crisis actors, as David Icke calls it “Problem, reaction, solution” alas, like 99% of Icke’s theories they are stolen from other people, it is historically known as the hegelian dialect.

Cause a problem to get a reaction and offer the solution. So the council hire in crisis actors to create a problem (social disorder) this causes the reaction (outrage by local residents) and the council offer the solution (pedestrianizing the local high street)

So it appears Spivey is correct, or he is just a delusional, fantasy living, adsense generating cunt?

Nominated by: Spivey the divy

ISIS Vandals

How can I shag this horse? Glorious Allah shows me the way. If I drill a hole for my cock here...

How can I shag this horse? Glorious Allah shows me the way. If I drill a hole for my cock here…

The swivel eyed ISIS wog camel shagging cunts have been hopping around and wanking orf while blowing to smithereens some orf the finest antiquities orf the ancient world, namely the temple orf Baal Shamin and other buildings at Palmyra dating back to the Bronze Age.

Extraordinary place. Got to saunter around it a bit during the desert campaign under that lanky cunt Archie Wavell v the Frogs. Correct cunts. Frogs fighting for Hitler. The Libya/Syria campaign was a particularly vicious show against the Vichy Frogs. Not much publicised at the time so not to antagonise our glorious Free Frog allies. Slap bang in the middle orf Syria and now surrounded by aforementioned ISIS wog cunts who use it to finance their scummy little schemes, genocide/world domination ect ect by flogging orf treasures piecemeal. Poor old Khaled Asaad, now Head(less) orf Antiquities at Palmyra having lorst his loaf after refusing to reveal after a month orf torture where the prize pieces were hidden.

In truth these ISIS cunts give our honourable calling a bad name. “How unfortunate, crimes against humanity ect ect, but we are powerless to do anything” bleat the limp listless liberal EU/ UN inbreeds like the Dutch, the Irish and the Dagos. Type orf cunt that will make a risk assessment before taking a piss in the desert. These cunts admit this is where huge chunks orf ISIS cashola is coming from aided and abetted by the world wide black market in antiquities fuelled by Chinko and Russkie money. Simple answer stop wasting time attempting to protect wog civilian cunts various and erect a ring orf steel around the ancient sites instead. Cut orf their money supply. You know it makes sense.

Be oit there meself quick as a wog up a camel’s arse if only I could find condoms big enough (for me shotgun cunts – keeps the sand oit me barrels).

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Oisin Tymon

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Like Clarkson or not, I think whiney cunts like that Oisin Tymon deserve a bit of a cunting.

Its an endemic problem in this country. Clearly production crew know the schedule and how long filming etc is going to take so if the ruckus was all over a hot meal at the end of the day, then some cunt deserves a fucking good kicking for failing to get even the simplest arrangement (nobody really knows what happened, so I’m only going by whats reported), that is to provide a hot meal at the end of the day. I can only surmise the ‘well thats all their is’ response was enough to tip Clarkson over the edge.

I did a pretty old school apprenticeship, and it was hard going. You had be aware of what was going on at all times and persistent mistakes that affected others meant that you would be ‘checked back into line’. Im not talking some Dickensian work place scenario, and fuckers that go on about bullying in the work place need a reality check, that seldom happens these days, unless of course being asked to do something not in your job description constitutes bullying and harassment. What we do have is the touchy feely, social, PC bullshit that leads the majority of the workforce to a massive sense of entitlement, not yet earned.

This is the reason fat Maureen down the council offices acts with impunity, because she does not have any fear of loosing her job, being disciplined or even actually having to do the job. We have a nation of fireproof cunts who can do and say whatever they like without fear.

I think more people should start kicking fuck out of frontline services staff and jobsworth cunts when they start to cop a shit attitude, because it might make the whole country a little more pleasant. I am still wary of my work impeding someone else’s and the prospect of getting a kicking for it focus’ the mind a bit better.

Clarkson maybe a loud mouth cunt, but in this instance he appears to have responded to cuntishness in general. Call me a cunt for defending him. But I’m tired of dealing with smug cunts telling me ‘thats just how it is’.

Nominated by: The Captain

Comeback bands

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The come back tour – the last bastion of shite karioke pop bands!

Yes that’s right, after loosing their record deal they all disappear in to obscurity but usually 6 years down the line someone will mention a reunion on Twitter and before you can say ‘Don’t fucking do it” they have reformed, re-released their “greatest hits” and embarked on a tour to extract every last penny out of the brain dead cunts who bought their shit music the first time round.

The only people who make any money of these reunions is the record labels, they usually own the rights to the songs, thats why 1 Direction generated an estimated £800 million in commercial sales (TV, Movies, Radio, Tv etc) yet they will all be sucking and sucking dick for food scraps in 2 years time before declaring bankruptcy – cunts

Nominated by : shittyknickers