I nominate the fucking Poppy Nazis Cunts (oxymoron intended), who feel so morally outraged at a shite (but still fuckable) actress for not wearing a poppy on tv.

Surely the selfless generation that fought and died for freedom that are remembered and celebrated by the poppy, did so so that their descendants would have the personal freedom of choice to do what the fuck they like, within reason. Have these zealots got fuck all better to do than shout ‘Disrespect’ at the top of their lungs.

On a par with Griefjackers, cunts!

Nominated by: Lord Flashcunt

Sharm El Sheikh is a cunt – not the place as it is a cunt infested shithole anyway. But the cunts that pack into the cheapest deal possible to get to a beach, facebook selfies of them eating 2 cent burgers and kababs, but not then wander why they cant get home as some raghead has taken out 240 souls switching bags at the airport.

And blaming the charter cheap airline, airport employees, the UK and in fact anyone but themselves, that they cannot get home.

Egypt. It started the Arab Spring, its overthrown a government, jailed Media who try to prove what cunts the are, Sharm has had a terrorist bomb PRIOR to ISIS but cunts love it as its cheap and its sunny.

Heres some advice for these people. Its cheap for a reason – and though you say you feel as safe there as you do in the Tube of London, here is the price for not going to a normal part of the world for a safe holiday.

Your kids will hate you from now on as well.

Fuck Egypt, Fuck Sharm El Sheik and any person that goes there.

Nominated by: King Cunt

May I offer cinema adverts as a cause worth cunting?

I went to the pictures this afternoon and due to the misleading timing information provided by the good people at Vue, I had to sit through what seemed to be hours of cunting adverts. As I’m guessing that most people fast forward through adverts at home, I feel very irritated at being forced to sit through these before I could see the film I’d paid to watch.

And every advert was fucking wank. Without exception.

Nominated by: Guardian Hater

( Yes! You really can get a rivetting DVD of old Pearl & Dean cinema ads. It’s on my Christmas list! Ed. )

Yes, it’s the glorious 5th November when we celebrate the greatest non event in British history – the gunpowder plot.

Poor old Guy Fawkes. All the poor bloke did was fail to achieve something that a lot of us regret, namely the failure to blow up parliament. With hindsight, it was an epic fail. But at least he tried which is more than can be said for the current bunch of political opposition. One side’s as bad as the other!

So who would you like to stick on your bonfire tonight? Corbyn? Osborne? Cameron? The list is never ending.

My personal choice? Pudsey fucking bear because that irritating little cunt is another sign that Christmas is coming. The massive retail fest and charity chugging frenzy. Well, they’ll get the same from me as last year – fuck all!

In the meantime, bollocks to bonfire night. I’m off to a diwali party to let off some fireworks…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Seagulls. I used to see them down the seaside when I was a youngster now the cunts are in the cities and everywhere else. They will eat everything including chicken which I guess makes them cannibal type cunts.

I used to think they were lovely birds that remind you of the seaside and now they are aggressive horrible cunts. They aren’t far off the size of a chicken so they might be nice in a Tikka masala or Kentucky fried seagull.

They are noisy cunts as well, in Butlins at the moment and the cunts are everywhere.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Seagulls – not actually people, but if they were, would be worse than ISIS. Line the roofs in a military formation, dive bombing ordinary decent english folk for their fish and chips. Fuck working for a living and actually going out to hunt fish like they are meant to. These vermin that have probably displaced every other fucking bird that would be singing and doing nice birdy things, are instead perching by mcdonalds with every other job swerving dole monkey in the land, and literally eating from the tax payers hand. Not content with this heinous unjustifiable half life, they have started actually attacking the good folk, as they walk past with their hard earned good food. Fucking cunts of the whole animal kingdom, and somehow protected by
1) a law that makes them unkillable, even if they peck the eyes out of your new born in front of you and
2) the kind of disgusting unedible flesh, that makes ray mears “rather die than eat list”.

Fuck seagulls.
Fuck their young.

I don’t want to hear about suffering their unending aggression on humans because it’s egg season. We should kill them all and burn the eggs.

The only reason I don’t go to jail for this shit, is I know damn well if I killed 100 of the fuckers, another 1,000 would swoop down and eat them.

Oh yeah! They shit on people too.

Utter cunts.

Nominated by: Tony