Rap

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Rap is truly evil music. It should be banned outright for the problems it causes. If you need to sample a real song from a real musician to form lame beats, then it isn’t music.

Bunch or stringed together swears and the repeat use of the word nigger. A word whites are supposed to be guilty about for some mongy reason. Bloody Mong music simple as that.

Nominated by: Titslapper

It’s not music, it’s fucking shit brown noise with primary school poetry peppered with profanities.
Speaking of which, it’s fucking shit.

Nominated by: Arsebiscuit

..and Des Lynam doesn’t like it either :

Rick Stein [2]

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Rick Strin – a sloppy cook (he’s certainly not a proper chef) who micro manages his deranged empire whilst on pleasant sojourns in Mediterranean ghettoes.

Then mounts his fucking high horse lecturing us on why we should be using obscure ingredients only eaten by armadilloes and the fucking cosa nostra. Fuck off Stein.

Best one was when he visited his kraut relatives — that was a real toe curler when he met the family who mostly ignored the cunt. I recall it for his smacked arse face when his lad brought up the Padstein word. Priceless! He probably slowed cooked that moth eaten dog he’d hail around.

No wonder his missus fucked off, arrogant ignorant fish fryer.

Nominated by: Arsebiscuit

Google

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I am cunting Google. The Olympian Messianic cunts have suddenly locked Safe Search on permanently on all Google searches. No discussion, no warning, thought police bastards. Matters to me because I always access ISAC through the search bar to keep search ratings for the site as high as possible.

Bastard search engine now pisses its knickers at isacunt and says it does not recognise the search term despite me having done it this way for years.Bollocks.

Much discussion orn line and despite options to turn Safe Search orf it is confirmed they do not work.
Consequently have kicked Google orf me machine and am using Bing (no problem).

Fuck orf Google. No block orn search terms like Suicide Vest or Bomb Making Materials (tried them) so what about a punter’s human right to view a spot orf porno? Hypocritical PC Cunts.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Stewart Lee

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Stewart Lee is a smug, supercilious, condescending cunt. When I look at him I quite literally see a moaning, heaving slab of meaty cunt, sweating under the weight of its own massive cuntishness, like a congenitally impaired pug waiting to die.

I recently watched a video of him explaining how ‘Political Correctness’ was just “Institutionalised Politeness at worst”, as if this description wasn’t dangerously close to sounding anything like, I dunno, state-backed censorship or anything!!

He then went on about how every man and his dog was a massive racist bully until PC came along to teach us all manners and niceties to minorities etc etc. Riiiight!!! That’s probably party true. But, what about ALL the damage and carnage it’s done to Free Speech you cunt?! (that’s probably for another ‘Cunting’ time and place)

Also, we should be immensely grateful for this knowledge, of course, because everything Stewart says is so laced with unrivalled intelligence and cutting-edge thinking that if you aren’t laughing at the exact right moments, for the exact right amount of time or gleefully delighting in his carefully-worded prose, you are probably a morally deficient scum bag who loves Top Gear then beats his wife with gay person you killed earlier.

And so, on he rambled in his holier-than-thou, ‘my farts smell so beautiful, mmmm’ type way until I could swear I saw my testicles holding up knives to me saying “cut us off just so the pain can take your mind off this bloated vaginas excruciating bullshit”.

Listening to this, I couldn’t help but feel it’s shit sacks like Stewart who have inculcated the culture of professional umbrage-taking that has emerged online, in universities and in the media over the last few years.

Everything about Stewart Lee makes me choose to pour cement into my own anal cavity rather than have to sit through another snarky, preachy word coming out that fat fucks cunt hole. His comedy is just posturing for his mates at The Guardian and the laughter he does illicit is just self-congratulatory, self-regarding wanking designed to make you feel superior and somehow morally refined.

Cunt!

Nominated by: Jimmy Block-Bottom