Stewart Lee


Stewart Lee is a smug, supercilious, condescending cunt. When I look at him I quite literally see a moaning, heaving slab of meaty cunt, sweating under the weight of its own massive cuntishness, like a congenitally impaired pug waiting to die.

I recently watched a video of him explaining how ‘Political Correctness’ was just “Institutionalised Politeness at worst”, as if this description wasn’t dangerously close to sounding anything like, I dunno, state-backed censorship or anything!!

He then went on about how every man and his dog was a massive racist bully until PC came along to teach us all manners and niceties to minorities etc etc. Riiiight!!! That’s probably party true. But, what about ALL the damage and carnage it’s done to Free Speech you cunt?! (that’s probably for another ‘Cunting’ time and place)

Also, we should be immensely grateful for this knowledge, of course, because everything Stewart says is so laced with unrivalled intelligence and cutting-edge thinking that if you aren’t laughing at the exact right moments, for the exact right amount of time or gleefully delighting in his carefully-worded prose, you are probably a morally deficient scum bag who loves Top Gear then beats his wife with gay person you killed earlier.

And so, on he rambled in his holier-than-thou, ‘my farts smell so beautiful, mmmm’ type way until I could swear I saw my testicles holding up knives to me saying “cut us off just so the pain can take your mind off this bloated vaginas excruciating bullshit”.

Listening to this, I couldn’t help but feel it’s shit sacks like Stewart who have inculcated the culture of professional umbrage-taking that has emerged online, in universities and in the media over the last few years.

Everything about Stewart Lee makes me choose to pour cement into my own anal cavity rather than have to sit through another snarky, preachy word coming out that fat fucks cunt hole. His comedy is just posturing for his mates at The Guardian and the laughter he does illicit is just self-congratulatory, self-regarding wanking designed to make you feel superior and somehow morally refined.


Nominated by: Jimmy Block-Bottom

58 thoughts on “Stewart Lee

  1. I quite liked This Morning: With Richard, not Judy. But then, Kevin Eldon was the best thing in that, and I can easily understand how objectionable this gentleman can be, I do agree with a few of his opinions, but he doesn’t have to be so obnoxiously cuntish about it.

  2. Cunts like Lee would happily remove the most inviolate of invilolates, to only allow their world view to be heard, with any opposing view treated as criminal.
    As such he is a part of the most dangerous puddle of scum on the planet.
    The socialist.
    Cunts. Every. Single. One.

    • Isn’t “only one view/ideology/belief allowed” actually Fascism? Sounds like it to me…

      • Sort of like “Common Purpose” or maybe “and the world shall live as one”. Superficially noble yet with sinister undertones.

  3. I was blissfully unaware of this twat’s existence until I read this cunting, so I searched YouTube and endured about 30 seconds of the prick before wanting to sear off my own eyes and ears with a blowtorch. Wasn’t he once partnered with Richard Herring? The “comedian” who wanted to “reclaim the Hitler moustache for comedy” Tasteless little cunt…

    • I hadn’t heard of him either, so I briefly watched a couple of things on YouTube. Maybe the audience were laughing at his attempts to be a comedian.

      • I wonder if Stewart Lee is related to Fred West? fucking hell, thought that when a saw his mug. Just sayin’ because there likeness is very close at least 80%(SL) to 100% likeness(FW). Lee also has got that stunned cunt look on his face like Fred does. I actually hate talking about the west’s because I actually read about the detailed gruesome deaths. Silly me but maybe spivey can do a comparison photo test. I bet a tenner if spivey says they are the same person.

  4. “He then went on about how every man and his dog was a massive racist bully until PC came along to teach us all manners and niceties to minorities”
    What a sick fucking cunt, speaking of sick cunts I just read about a syrian migrant babysitting a 4 yr old austrian girl thanks to their dumb as shite parents! you’ll never guess what happened next. He gave her diversity and showed her his little allah and by raping her, can you believe how racist this 4 yr old is?

    I can’t believe it I guess stewart lee fuckhead can explain to this toddler what a racist she was thanks stewart your so tolerant just like captain sweden. Also where’s burqa merkel or that dumb goat fucking ergodan on this matter? seems the more rapes and violent assaults happen the more they remain silent. Oh yeah because the rapes never happened they just cover it up! they should be tried and hanged for flooding europe but nope nothing.

    • Former PM Gordon Brown says it would “not be British” to leave the EU…proving the very existence of reincarnation. Famous landscape architect “Capability” Brown is today alive and kicking (somewhat below-par) as “Incapability Brown”. Nuff said…CUNT.

      • How the fuck would that one eyed cunt know what is, and isn’t British? And he was NEVER the PM. He never won a general election, and therefore had no mandate to be PM. I’m not even sure if he was voted in as Labour leader.

      • Cunt is just floating around like an unflushed turd in a khazi hoping to pick up a cushy EU job.

      • Too true Sir Stoke!
        My mum always told me as a lad if it’s brown flush it down, and gordon brown is definitely a turd. Bumbling Brown also has a face like a smacked arse.

      • I think you summed it up perfectly sir.
        thanks to the pic I do recognise the sweaty shapeless form called mr. hall but I have never watched him -as I had written previously I didn’t know who he was.
        I have been asking my g/f over the last few months why comedy was banned from tv over the last decade – and then listing examples of what comedy is -as I hate these boring idiots who are smarmy smug and none of them has got past the privileged elitist university tantrum sulky poster clad bedroom stage in development.
        in the 80’s and 90’s we had the comic strip and French and saunders and the young ones and Armando iannucci and the office and shooting stars and the fast show and the league of gentlemen and alan partridge etc but now we get these posh boring alan davies types and even worse half of them are women -they are even thicker and more boring than the guys -like the slug in the photo -I haven’t yet watched any of these idiots shows -call me old fashioned but I only laugh when something funny has been said- I actually get annoyed that these Charlie brooker type cunts are advertised and referred to as comedians .
        who banned joke telling ? and when was the word comedian redefined ?
        was it trevor phillips ? when he made England the indian sub continents satellite state in Africa ? did he at the same time ban jokes and hundreds of words the English used when England was just an American aircraft carrier anchored a few miles from Europe .

  5. Gordon Brown was the most disastrous fuckwit inflicted on the English by the Scotish since Earl Haig

  6. Another win for living in Yankland. Absolutely no idea who this cunt is. Yea for me! 🙂

    • What d’ya mean “another” win……when was the other?
      All you do is moan about the cunts.
      Easy to see why.

      • JRC: LOL. That made me chuckle. Consider me the advanced party to report on the cretins who inhabit this land prior to our taking it back. They have, after all, made a bit of a mess of things. 😉

      • Andy – OMG! Seeing that rabid, jowl faced old hag barking on TV every freaking day is enough to make you kick the shit out of ye olde flat screen.

        The Clintons are as bent as a 3 quid note. Being Prez of the USA is a pretty important job. I just don’t get why she can’t look at herself objectively and say something to the effect, “Yeah, I’ve got an awful track record of sleeze, conniving underhand deals, corruption, lies and deceit on an industrial scale. I think the office of the President deserves someone with greater wit, guile and integrity so I should quietly slide out of the limelight and shut the fuck up”.

        But noooooooooo! It’s all “vote for me, vote for me”. Yanks have a tendency to err on the side of arrogant, but this fetid old cow has no moral compass and an ego which blocks out the sun. Still, if one needs another example of someone so wholly unqualified for the top job, look no further than the clown who’s in the White House now.

        Where did I put my blood pressure pills?

      • And those Kardashian bastards, famous for buying handbags and sucking Schwartz cock. What kind of world do we live in, where those cunts can get exposure beyond the Sunday sport is a tragedy for all humanitarian. As for the drag act step dad, he can go and do himself, the prick.

      • Trips back home are a strange affair. I’m sure our other ex-pat cunts can relate to this. You go back to the towns where friends and family live. Everything is mostly as you remember it. The shops may have changed a little. A new speed camera here and there. Perhaps a new traffic light or mini-roundabout, but basically the same look and feel as when you left many years before.

        What hits you is how fucking expensive everything is. Last visit was in 2014. Two pints of bitter and a couple of bags of crisps and I was expecting change from a tenner. Nope, the cunt behind the bar wanted MORE money! I can fill up my car here for less than $25 (about 16 quid). Filling up at the Shell close to my parents’ house and it was bye bye to over $90. WTF? While we’re on the subject, can someone please invent pay at the fucking pump in the UK? Over here in Yankland, it’s swipe the CC, insert the nozzle, hold and click the trigger so it keeps pumping without you having to hold it, wait until the trigger auto shuts off, return the nozzle to the pump, collect CC receipt which prints out as you put the petrol cap back on, then you fuck off to get on with the rest of your day. In the UK, it’s stand there holding the nozzle trigger until it shuts off. Replace everything, then into the little shop to queue up with all the other cunts. Only one till is open of course and the bastard in front of you has done his weekly shop and wants to pay by cheque. Wait wait wait wait wait wait zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz. Finally you get to pay, but not before filling out a second mortgage application to help pay for the petrol and you eventually get back to your car about half an hour later. Why is there not rioting on the streets over this shit?

        The newspapers feature stories you know nothing about. Magazines feature front covers of people now famous in the UK and I have no idea who they are or why they’re famous. You turn the telly on and programmes are presented by people who don’t know. The newsreaders are all new too. What happened to Trevor McDonald for fuck’s sake? Where’s Michael Fish when you need a hurricane report?

        Everything is somewhat familiar. You know where everything is, how to get around and how to get from A to B. But it’s different in a 1000 little ways and it totally does your head in. It’s like your own personal episode of The Twilight Zone.

        It’s freaky man!

      • Thank fuck we now have pay at the pump, so that is one less hassle. Also, one of the reasons petrol is so cheap over there is because all the yank wagons have really shit mpg, unless you have one of those cuntmobiles, namely the Prius.
        One thing I’d like to know old chap, how often do you hear the word cunt said over there? It pops up every now and then on the grittier US dramas, but I’m not convinced when I hear it. Is it common?

      • Hi Gutstick: Petrol is cheap over here mainly because the government doesn’t tax it to oblivion like they do in the UK. Also, because the US is so huge, everything is very spaced out and public transport is extremely limited, the car gets you everywhere so they’re reasonably cheap to run. You make a decent point about the ‘gas guzzlers’, but I have to say in the 15 or so years I’ve lived in Yankland, you see way fewer of those types of vehicle than you used to. Smaller cars are very, very common here now. A couple years ago when the Saudis were playing Russian Roulette with OPEC, oil prices went north of $150/barrel. As a result, petrol prices over here went above $4/gallon (2.5 quid approx). The local Yank population had an absolute melt down. It was like the aliens had landed and were taking over. Yes, comparatively it was ‘expensive’, but still dirt cheap in the grand scheme of things. Yanks, I’ve found, like to look for things to overreact to.

        As for the word “cunt” goes, I have NEVER heard it on Yank telly ever, though admittedly I don’t watch a lot of TV. The word is pretty offensive in the UK as you know, but it’s still part of everyday vernacular. Over here, it is considered absolutely verboten. Like one of the worst words you could possibly say. I’m not sure why. When we could call someone ‘a right fucking cunt’, a potty mouthed Yank would more likely reach for ‘you asshole’ or ‘you son-of-a-bitch’. Even saying “fuck” with an American accent sounds lame. Nothing beats its delivery in a proper British accent.
        Cheers – I.Y.

      • Next time you have an altercation with one of the fuckers…..go straight in with “fuck off you cunt”
        Let us know how you get on.

      • You know I will. There are some right cunts on my street, one in particular. He knows I hate his guts so it’s only a matter of time before he gets schooled in some good old fashioned sweary outburst. Might go something like this: “Oi ya lazy cunt. Get yer fucking dog off my property or I’ll ventilate it with my 357. You cunt!”

        Or words to that effect. I find extreme sarcasm also works a treat because most Yanks I’ve met don’t realise you’re doing it. Hahaha. Gets me through the day. 😉

    • Trump? The family Bush? The Clintons? You really wanna live in Yankland?

      • The Clinton witch will have for her election slogan-
        “I may be a crooked cunt, but if you don’t vote for me, you’ll get the wiggy devil. I truly am the lesser of two evils.”
        Or “Viva Mexico!”

      • “lesser of two evils?” LOL not quite mate did you hear about her getting a paedophile off the hook? and laughing about it while ruining a little girls life?
        Or her illegally deleting government files? Or the bengazi massacre attack? Her and her hubby are at least responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths at the very least.

      • What I was trying to say is the best she can hope for is to undercunt Trump, rather than offer any proper opposition. She is so crooked, she could be Nigerian?

      • I’ll admit, I was very excited to start a new life in the US 15 or so years ago. That said, when I left the UK the plan was to return to Blighty after a couple of years. Then life happened and I’m still here. I’m genuinely sad to say that in the time I’ve lived in the US, it’s changed a lot and not for the better. As a country and as a population, it’s way worse than it used to be.

        Yankland suffers from many of the same problems the UK does, but on a much larger scale. The ‘entitlement generation’, declining social conscience, illegal immigration, corruption, gun crime, race baiting, political correctness…the list goes on. The damage Obastard has done to America has been significant and I’m not sure if the US can recover. If Clinton were to become President I’d have to consider my continued stay in the US. Hate to say it, but it’s that bad. As much as we all like to poke fun at Trump, I think he has the balls to turn this ship around. Trouble is, that will upset too many people on the easy life gravy train and that will be the reason why he might not get the votes. Cheers – I.Y.

      • Same shit here I’m afraid, though you have better weather and access to firearms! Suddenly those crazy looking prepper cunts don’t look so crazy after all. Ain’t life cunt! ?

      • Good point about the weapons, Gutstick. I only found out quite recently that you don’t have to be a citizen to own a gun. Result!

        As for the weather, it’s a little more challenging than you might think. In the UK, the weather just happens and everyone sort of gets on with it. Over here, the weather tries to kill you. We got tornadoes, hurricanes, land slides, avalanches, floods, wild fires, heat waves, earth quakes, blizzards, ice storms, droughts, etc. The weather here can be lovely but it can also be mental. Believe it or not, I actually miss the crap UK weather. It could be a bit drab and last for weeks at a time, but at least it wasn’t trying to wipe out your neighbourhood. Hahaha.

      • If Trump is elected, I see the next assassination of a US President approaching. Not that I think he’s wrong necessarily, just that the vested interests will want him out of the way.

        I gather the FBI are quite handy with grassy knolls…?

      • I won’t even go there on holiday! That’s why I’m writing this in a camper van in Applecross (look it up you lazy cunts!)

  7. I don’t like either of them, but out of the two I’d say Trump…
    I can’t stand the thought of Clinton and Merkel pissing in tandem on the whole world…

    Cuntwatch UK:

    Emma Watson is a tax dodging cunt… Squeaky clean, my arse…

    West Aiiiim, their knobhead fans, and their porn baron owners (with that Brady slag) are cunts… Fuck The ‘Ammers!… Hope David Sullivan dies of syphilis…

    Philomena Cunk. is a smug, unfunny cunt… Anyone with a name like that has to be a cunt… Ugly mare too…

    Eamonn Holmes is a soft cunt… Apologising to those bindipping Scouse fiends, for daring to utter the word ‘Hillsborough’? If I had a pound for every time those Scouse vermin said ‘Munich’ I’d be fucking rich…..

    • I think Trump has a chance, a lot af cunts won’t admit to voting for him in case they get called racists. Polls mean fuck all. Thank fuck that crazy God botherer Ted Cruz is out of the running, he thinks he has a first class ticket to heaven, and he can’t wait to use it. And we’re all invited!

      • Trump seems to be the only sensible option at least he’s against the politically correct mindset/media and doesn’t mind calling a terrorist a terrorist rather then a “moderate moslem”.

    • What the Wet Spam yobs did to the Manure team bus was a fucking disgrace. Then Sullivan piles on claiming it was Manure’s fault. Is he a special needs case or something? What an absolute cunt running an absolute cunt of a club. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all have a giant stadium for free? Cunts!

      • That Jesse Lingard is a total cunt… The way the little fucker ‘reacted’ on the United team coach was an embarrassment… Can anyone imagine Nobby Stiles, Pat Crerand, Roy Keane, Bryan Robson or Martin Buchan ‘reacting’ the same way? No, didn’t think so…. For all his faults, at least Paul Ince gave it back to those West Aiiim cunts at Upton Park and Incey also waded in against those Palace cocksuckers at Selhurst on the night King Eric decked that cockney gobshite…

        Jesse by name, jessie by nature… Little cunt…

    • Oh gawd, Emma fuckin’ Watson…apparently it reeeelly reeeelly isn’t about money, she’s just trying to protect “personal information”. As if anyone wants to pay her a home visit. If she sends me a hundred grand, I’ll go and drop a log through her letterbox, so she knows someone’s thinking about her.

      • Watson looks like a public schoolboy with lipgloss anyway… I wouldn’t give her houseroom…

  8. Lee is indeed a cunt. His act consists of repeating the same joke (relative term) again and again. If you don’t laugh you’re either 1) thick or 2) racist. And did the twat go to Oxford? I can’t remember him ever mentioning it. The fucking guardian made flesh, and splattered over the fucking BBC.

  9. As any Stewart Lee fanboy will tell you:
    “If you do not find Stewart funny you are not intelligent enough to understand his meta comedy”
    FUCK OFF, if you find Stewart Lee funny you are a cunt, how is making noises for 10 minutes comedy?
    This bloke is a fucking cunt of the highest order, how ironic that his sidekick Richard Herring is funnier, and he is as funny as a hand made of ham, a talcum powder dispensing tit, a finger that can travel through time and his ‘comedic gold’ question of “Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?”

    • Oh, and Richard Herring is a cunt for crowd funding his so called comedy,
      The only bigger cunts are the cunts who pay money to fund him and his shit output.
      So in conclusion.
      Stewart Lee is a public money siphoning, greasy, unfunny cunt & Richard Herring is a public money siphoning, greasy, unfunny, fat cunt.

      • Herring manages to mention going to Oxford even more frequently than Lee, which is quite a feat. I quite liked these two on This Morning… but since they’ve completed their metamorphosis into utter, utter cunts.

      • It’s all down to marketing and marketing is a cunt. If you want to sell an inferior product, simply use the BBC or social media to link it to supposed “intelligence”, social status or most people’s basic need for acceptance and the desire to be seen as “up to date” and “modern”. That way you can sell any old crap such as hybrid cars, Stewart Lee’s “comedy”, Windows 10, Socialism, the new overpriced and overhyped plastic “smart” gadget or even Daniel Craig’s latest lame shitty excuse for a Bond movie. It will sell even though the buyer can see that, really, it’s shite because no-one wants to be perceived as “thick” or “ignorant” or outmoded, even if they aren’t. Vanity and insecurity trumps all and fills the bank accounts of cunts everywhere…

  10. So I did the sensible thing and looked this tool up on YT. Randomly picked from several offerings and settled on this one:

    I gave him a full 5 minutes to make me laugh. Not even a titter or half chuckle. Now as you know, there are zillions of comedy clips on YT. Every single one I’ve ever seen simply plays the footage and you can just sit there and enjoy the skit, routine or whatever. Not this cunt. No. He has to add fucking captions to his drivel, presumably to explain to the YT audience why he thinks he’s funny. The age old saying – if you have to explain the joke then it’s not funny – holds as true today as it always has. Fully deserving of a cunting, not least because as a ‘comedian’ he’s really, really crap at his job.

    • Thanks I.Y., I gave him till 2.27 before the double smugness of his rubbish routine and his arsehole annotations drove me to the brink. Had to quickly watch some Spike Milligan to restore some balance.

      • Hii GJ: Loved the Q series on BBC2. As a youngster at the time, I didn’t always get the joke but seeing Spike try so hard to stifle a laugh as a sketch progressed always made me laugh.

        “I told you I was ill” on his headstone is classic. RIP Spike!

      • Indeed! I tried to get the Q stuff on DVD, but it’s not available, but recently I found a load of them on YouTube. Also on there is Spike on this is your life from 1973. Who the fuck had had a video recorder back then? Glad somebody did, it’s a treat, especially when Eamon Andrews mentions Hitler which prompts Spike Spike to cry out “Christ, is he here too!”

      • We had a video recorder in 1973, fucking thing was Betamax though and we had to upgrade to a VHS in 78′ 😀
        Ah, the 70’s when tech became infinitely outdated to the point we are at now where you have to upgrade your TV every 5 years and your phone every 18 months.

  11. Another thing about Lee (and doubtless the last). The most recent show of his I watched (lasted about three minutes) consisted of him slagging off Lee Mack. Nice one Stewart. Have a go at someone who is 1) far, far funnier and 2) far, far more likeable than you will ever be. Fucking cunt.

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