Job hunting

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I nominate Job Hunting for a damn good cunting.

I am between jobs right now and am experiencing the usual fuck-witted bullshit I normally get from so-called IT recruiters. However, this time around they seem to have taken it to a whole new level of evil bastard.

Let’s just take it as red that I’m a very skilled, knowledgeable and experienced IT professional. I have a degree in Computer Science, my IT certifications are up-to-date and I have a breadth and depth of consulting experience few in my industry have. With so many IT jobs available, you’d think it would be a piece of piss for someone like me to snag a top job just by thinking about it. Think again!

I apply directly to hiring companies. I get ignored.
I apply for jobs listed by fuck-wit IT recruiters. I get ignored.
I contact fuck-wit IT recruiters who list jobs similar to ones I’m looking for and introduce myself as a potential job candidate. I get ignored.
WTF?

These people are supposed to be recruiters FFS. Considering they’re likely to get somewhere between $20K and $40K for ‘helping’ place me in a full time position (based upon what my first year’s salary would likely be), it seems it’s too much bother to actually pick up the fucking ‘phone or reply to an email. Even contract consulting work would generate anywhere between $25 to $50 per hour FOR THEM for every hour I work and it’s still too much trouble to follow up with me. Yeah, that’s their margin for doing FUCK ALL!!! A finder’s fee, fair enough. But hourly income for them based upon my expertise, dedication and work ethic? Insane, but that’s how it works. And yet it’s still too much trouble to actually follow up with me. IT recruiting must be the easiest job in the world. Get paid to do virtually fuck all.

It gets worse. These fuck-wits, just to add insult to injury, will contact me about completely unrelated and irrelevant jobs. Hey dickface, you’ve seen my profile online and you’ve downloaded a copy of my CV, so you know what I do and where I am located. So why on god’s fucking green earth would I want to hear about some dip-shitted Java Programmer job 1,500 miles and 5 states away? You utter cunt!

It gets worse. These fuck-wits email you irrelevant job openings, then say if you’re not interested to pass it on to people in your network or suggest other people who may be interested. Excuse me, did I just have a stroke and wake up in the recruiting business? Recruiting is YOUR job, not MINE!! When a database server crashes and corrupts some production systems at 3AM, do I call you for help? Do I fuck!

It gets worse. So many alleged IT recruiters these days are ‘two men and a dog’ operations, populated by our Indian friends. Some of these people have no business crawling out of the ghetto. They do not understand the IT industry, have no clue what the acronyms mean and can barely string an intelligible sentence together. All they do is word match between the dog shit job descriptions provided by their clients and people’s CVs. These people are the gatekeepers of the jobs and yet are utterly clueless. It just beggars belief this situation exists.

In the good old days, companies had Personnel Departments and would handle communications with job candidates. Somewhere along the line that disappeared, only to be replaced by HR Departments who don’t give a fuck. They can’t be bothered to handle job applicants, so they farm it out to dip-shit IT recruiters who are wholly unfit to do the job for them.

The worst part is, there is almost nothing you can do about it. Your ability to hit back for being abused, ignored or messed around is very limited. Job hunting sucks and HR Departments and IT recruiters are cunts.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

Cunt

muscio

Nil Desperandum viz the Neverendum dear hearts. Might I suggest a little light reading such as CUNT by one Inga Muscio.

The blurb goes as follows:

An ancient title of respect for women, the word “cunt” long ago veered off this noble path. Inga Muscio traces the road from honor to expletive, giving women the motivation and tools to claim “cunt” as a positive and powerful force in their lives.

In this fully revised edition, she explores, with candidness and humor, such traditional feminist issues as birth control, sexuality, jealousy between women, and prostitution with a fresh attitude for a new generation of women. Sending out a call for every woman to be the Cuntlovin’ Ruler of Her Sexual Universe, Muscio stands convention on its head by embracing all things cunt-related. This edition is fully revised with updated resources, a new foreword from sexual pioneer Betty Dodson, and a new afterword by the author.

“Bright, sharp, empowering, long-lasting, useful, sexy….”—San Francisco Chronicle “…
Cunt provides fertile ground for psychological growth.”—San Francisco Bay Guardian
“Cunt does for feminism what smoothies did for high-fiber diets—it reinvents the oft-indigestible into something sweet and delicious.”
— Bust Magazine

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

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Gavin Esler

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Gavin Esler is the biggest cunt on the BBC news.

Watch him present the lefty echo-chamber that is Dateline London on the BBC News Channel and you’ll see what I mean – he’s a smug, arrogant complacent fool who loves the sound of his own voice and (probably) the smell of his own farts to boot.

Gavin Esler is the BBC to a fucking ‘T’!

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

Kids on planes

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May I just take this opportunity to say a heartfelt ‘Fuck you’! To the stupid selfish shit-cunt with the obviously sick two year old on the early morning flight to Copenhagen two weeks back.

Not only did your horrible spaz-faced little shit spend the entire journey coughing in my direction and blowing snot bubbles, but you also decided to take it for a walk through the cabin to ensure that everyone else got a dose of particularly virulent flu.

I would love to find out who you are and where you fucking live so that I can send my solicitor around and sue you for the lost earnings while I was shivering, sweating and honking up in bed for two days.

I am sure that everyone else on that flight would also like a bit of that action too.

Seriously, what kind of retarded, selfish fuckwit takes a sick and contagious kid into a confined space where everyone is going to get a dose of whatever the fuck that was.
You madam are a cunt of the highest order.

I hope you go blind and your child is a mongey. You cunt.

Nominated by: Odins Balls

Gordon Brown[11]

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Old squinty himself, Gordon Brown has been wheeled out for the remain campaign. He still can’t get it through his empty head that immigration is a big worry with the British public.

The wanker is still of the opinion that he knows better, and that anyone who doesn’t think like him are bigots.

Gordon, you are a cunt, shuffle back into the wilderness where you belong.

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye