Seriously? this is how dumb the masses are these days? what next Googlebox where people watch other people searching Google on TV.
Fuck me does this planet need another black death or plague to thin the herd!
Nominated by: Boaby
Not content with employing that Grand Master of Cuntitude, Lineker, to advertise their shit crisps,they have announced a 10% price rise due to Brexit! They say that exchange rate fluctuations are to blame,even though the potatoes are grown and crisps produced in the Uk.
Considering that the bags are 90% air,perhaps they could save their “increased costs” by getting some cunt to squeeze some of the air out before sealing. Or,better still,sack that bell end Lineker. Their crisps would still be shit,but I’d buy a bag just to say thanks for getting rid of him.
Nominated by: Dick Fiddler
They come back brimming with confidence and within 5mins I have the cunts in a pool of dribbling mess. What a waste of money!
As a contractor I am exempt from such bullshit but if the cunts were to send me on one I’d have Carnegie himself reaching for the valium & vodka solution within 10mins!
Hey cunts, ever heard of “common sense”? Works for me every time and for whatever shit life throws at me. Maybe you should have gone on the Dale Carnegie course for the hard of understanding, you cunts!
Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!
Why not be sensible and have separate “smoking” and “non-smoking” areas in pubs, or even separate smoker’s pubs? Imposing a blanket ban is dictatorial and unnecessary.
Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain
Now I’m no Grinch. I love a good a piss up as much as the next man. Even if the next man happens to be Oliver Reed, Peter O’Toole, Richard Harris or George Best, (may they all rest in glorious peace). But there comes a time when you have to stand up and say enough is fucking enough. As I type this, the time is; 00:10, 6/11/16. At approximately 23:55 on 05/11/16, I saw my first Christmas advert from one of the big stores.
Do you know what my overriding memory of LAST Christmas was? Standing in a queue at Debenhams in Manchester City centre, behind a woman who smelled as though she hadn’t bathed/showered for at least a month. And this was around 20th of December 2015, and it was pretty fucking cold, so you could probably add another month to my estimate. I would have walked away, but I really wanted my jar of boiled sweets. Along with excessive alcohol consumption, they’re the only thing that keep me sane.
I quite like the Christmas market we get every year. The giant bratwurst hotdogs bring great memories of being stationed in Germany. What I absolutely hate, is the recent tradition of the likes of John Lewis, Debenhams etcetera, doing these “tear jerking” adverts. I mean fuck……off! I will not be opening my wallet in your stores because you show an advert in which a paedo on the moon is spying on a young girl. In my view, Christmas is from the 14th December to the 26th, then it’s over for another year, and I can begin planning the fucking awesome New Year party for my mates, in my Man Cave.
Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw