Nurofen

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i would like to cunt Nurofen. How the fuck do they get away with it?

They charge upwards of £2.50 a pack. You can buy supermarket brands for about 25p. They are exactly the same – they have to be by law!

Also they have started this ‘ targeted pain ‘ bollocks. It’s nonsense. It’s just the same stuff in the packets and it doesn’t ‘target’ pain. Aren’t they breaking some law? Don’t buy it!

Nominated by: Ozmandias

Green Day

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Green Day are cunts and American idiot cunts at that. In particular the lead singer: Two quotes from this punk rebel below:

Rock group Green Day say they “fully support” the protests against US president elect Donald Trump.

“I don’t think any of us were prepared for Donald Trump to be president,” singer Billie Joe Armstrong told the BBC.
“I think there’s going to come a time when the protests get larger and larger – and that I fully support.”
The star, who has been an outspoken critic of Mr Trump, said he felt like his “country is being set on fire”.

Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong publicly supported Hillary Clinton in the presidential race, branding her the only choice while calling Donald Trump “evil.”

He tells Beats 1: “There’s only one choice for me and that’s Hillary Clinton. What a lot of liberals need to understand is there’s never been a candidate that has come this far that has had this much of a liberal and a progressive agenda.

“Just because she has just got this baggage that comes along with her, and it’s not even really baggage, compared to Donald Trump she is basically a school teacher.

Wall street establishment child rapist defence council Hilary either did a really good job of pulling the wool over your eyes or your a paid up establishment shrill.

By the way your music is a parody of anything potent and your a massive cunt.

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit

Burglary

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I wish to cunt the stupid theiving barstard who broke into my garage.

Firstly a degree of inteligence is required for breaking and entering, admittedly its not an art I study but the thick cunt didnt listen to his tutor that well.

Said cunt approached my garage in the small hours of Thursday armed with hammer and screw driver, he then ignored his tutors advice and bashed the implement between the upper frame and door slightly off center, bending the frame….he then successfully re adjusted his aim and smashed the inner staple off the frame and defeating the flimsy security of the structure.

What happened next well we can only guess, but my assumption is that said fuckwhit got a bit over zealous yanking the door open and twisted it jamming it in the frame with an opening of 4 inches and fled.

Well Mr Burglar you sir are a fuckwhit and a prize cunt,
1, you bodged the first attempt
2, you then jammed the door trying to open it
3, you left over £1,000 + of power tools in “loot” just an arms length away.
and most of all you showed me exactly how to break into the bloody thing, so a quick buzz down to B&Q £8 worth of angle iron bolted to the top frame stops the old cole chisel trick and a nice big defender bar at the bottom adds to the equasion.

My initial thought on surveying the damage was, “why don’t they just get a job” but on closer inspection I decided that they were proper thick cunts so unemployable, I would suggest a career move to stealing copper from sub stations in future.

Nominated by: Lord Benny

Nestlé

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A cunting for Nestles please (or Nestlé if you want to be poncy about it).

Not content with acquiring major British confectionery brands, the fuckers have removed the Toffee Deluxe from what was Mackintosh’s Quality Street. They’ve ignored the old adage “If it ain’t broke, don’t mend it.”

Bah fucking humbug. Christmas wrecking, meddling CUNTS!

Nominated by: Alan Fistula

Lego

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The new Liberal Globalist Lego sets are out next year. They’re avoiding an Xmas release in case that offends, opting for a more culturally acceptable date of May 27th 2017.

In this set all of the bits look the same except the connecting holes don’t quite fit depending on which set you use.

Over time all the pieces get thrown together (as is usual with a large collection of Lego) and the builder has to either force the pieces together (with the special blue and yellow hammer – one supplied with each independent set), or – over time – discover which pieces do fit together and create substructures of one set within the body of the main set.

Eventually the pieces of the main set disappear being replaced entirely by various substructures from many different sets.

Once you have achieved this you can then apply for the Liberal Globalist Technical set. This set does not match with any connector from any set other than it’s own but it does provide a lot of motors and gears to control all of the other sets, and where all of Lego characters in that bit wear black suits, briefcases and carry blue and yellow agendas.

Later on there’s the Liberal Globalist Lego Entertainment Edition where the homes, palaces and islands of the rich and famous are recreated. They look like they can be mixed with any other standard set but the reality being that when you try and place a standard piece in there (after being welcomed in), as they are magnetic, repel the standard pieces as though they weren’t wanted there in the first place after all.

The Liberal Globalist Technical and Entertainment sets can be made to work together so long as you don’t mind splashing out on some like-minded adapters (which only the very rich can afford).

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!