Having just returned to the UK from a 3.5 year overseas job what the fucking hell has happened to the populous?

Walking around Asda was a culture shock to say the least. As a native of the land I was in the minority speaking English, at least 65% were banging on Russian and the remainder could barely string a sentence together in English, the utter fucktardedness of them. Perhaps the neck tattoos are causing a brain problem making these people similar in IQ to my turds. But above all what the fucking fuck have people been eating? Fat cunts everywhere, not a bit overweight like most caused from crap diet, kids, long hours, work life balance, I’m talking 10 bastard stone overweight. The place had more fucking skin in it than a tanning factory. Sweaty fat women in joggers with huge gunts, blokes in electric chairs, equally fat buying ready meals and Asda lager.

How do you get that fat? It must cost a fortune in food and bog paper, no wonder the roads are fucked with the amount of shit flowing through the UK sewage system, that’s what causing the potholes, underground turd vibration. Obviously is not the fault of these sweaty fat useless shit stains that they are shovelling 20 chickens a day down there huge necks, no doubt some stress, bullying, trauma has caused them to get like this and the NHS MUST provide gastric banding immediately.

Come year zero when I rise to power you an be sure the NHS will not be providing any gastric banding as self inflicted problems are exactly that, self inflicted so fuck off now and stop eating.

Nominated by Thorax Cockslammer

Mobile homes and their owners are fucking cunts.

Driving slowly on roads way too small for them, causing traffic jams and tailbacks, wrecking everyone else’s journey for the sake of being cunts. You can’t see past them, or overtake them. You can’t even roadrage them by driving too close in case one of the twelve fucking bicycles decides to shake off the back and crash through your windscreen like a wrecking ball with “your family” written all over it.

They ruin your camping holiday by parking sunside on to you making damn sure you freeze first thing in the morning and then resolutely ignore your eyes of detonating hatred by hiding behind their financial times and coffee, having already purposefully woken you up trying to get their motorized sky dish into position for the news. All the while, no doubt, sucking in great lungfuls of fabulous cuntry air whilst proclaiming how wonderful the great outdoors is.
What the fuck are these people even on holiday for? Are they seriously splashing 50 grand on a motorhome to simply sit next to me when I’m cold and rub it in? It would appear so. How else to explain that cheery hello as they slosh the evenings piss and shit over to the chemical dump?

Fuck them and their cunt wagons.

And fuck their special little clubs that give them discounted rates to exclusive campsites. Do they have better grass or something? Again, it would appear so. Phoning a caravan club site up and asking for a tent pitch gets you an instantly noticable increase in the posh accent followed by a condescending explanation at best, and at worst they simply put the phone down on you.

These people and their motorhomes are not just total cum gargling cunts, they are also a community of cum gargling cunts.

Perhaps providence will gift me the vision of serenity one day and make one somersault down the m4 like James Bond’s Aston Martin.

Nominated by Cuntflap

Evil Rick Thorburn and his family.

This appears to be a case of strato-cunt. This man and his wife ran some kind of daycare Centre and also adopted a young girl.

When she was 12 years old one of the sons was regularly raping her, then fessed up to the parents only because he was afraid he’d got her pregnant. The parents worried what to do about it when daddy had the brilliant idea of…kill the girl and dump her body in a salt bog. Then the family colludes to keep it quiet. They only got busted a year later after a tipoff.

What sort of moral compass guides these people? This goes beyond the black humor cunting usually seen here, I can’t really think of anything that cunts this strato-cunt and his hyper-cunt spawn than the facts of the case.

However, when they arrive in Hell I do hope they all get hollowed out and used as prophylactics by thorn-cocked demons who continually fuck razor-blade and acid-cunted hags in Hades for the rest of eternity and then some.

http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2018-05-26/tiahleigh-palmer-julene-thorburn-says-she-lied-for-son-trent/9797550?pfmredir=sm&WT.ac=localnews_brisbane

Nominated by Three strokes

.

Barbecue lovers are cunt…
For once we get a bit of decent weather, so one hopes to do a bit of quiet gardening and the like… Some fucking hope… There’s always some cunts who get out the barbecue as soon as it hits 20 degrees… They invite a load of other cunts (who they usually hate and fight with when pissed on a night out), the wimmin just yadder endless babbling shite, they play horrendous music, there’s loads of shittty kids in tow, a screeching baby, and, of course, the bloke who ‘takes over’ when it’s barbi time, but does fuck all cooking for the rest of the year… Said cunt talks very loudly in a ‘Look at me! I’m in charge!’ way with all that ‘Order up!’ and ‘It’s ready, guys!’ bollocks… They can fuck the frig right off…

Nominated by, Norman