Raiders of the Private Pension Pots

 

are a cunt.

Back in 2024 when our much admired PM ( that was sarcasm ) appointed Legohead as Chancellor, she made a right fuss about the financial ” black hole” and started casting about for ways to fill it without breaking the manifesto promises.

She cast her eyes on the money that large corporation invest for pension schemes for their employees and thought ” how can I get my mits on that?”. So she proposed making it compulsory to invest a percentage of such funds in schemes that will benefit the UK economy, like HS2 perhaps?.

Anyway, the HOL rejected it, so Labour resubmitted a watered down version, which, to no surprise, has been passed by the HOC.

She also proposed that smaller companies should amalgamate pension pots to create a larger sum for investment. She’s all heart and didn’t want the little guys to miss out on this fabulous investment opportunity.

Please make it stop, please.

MSN

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

John Healey

is a cunt.

Fresh from counting how many ships we actually have in the Navy (see fucked up interview on LBC) he has announced that we have been monitoring Russian activity in the Atlantic north of scotchland.

He says to Putin ‘we see you, we see what you are doing and if you are very naughty there will be serious consequences’

Apparently there was one Russian attack sub and two spy subs, and these were shadowed for a month by the RN, before they retreated… a whole month so not really a retreat more likely they had completed the survey and went home for a few vodkas.

Come on John, what would be the serious consequences

‘Well they would be very serious, not just serious but very, very serious’

What the fuck was this press conference all about, trying to make us less of a laughing stock after the complete car crash LBC interview and the debacle over the deployment of HMS Dragon.

What a cunt.

Guardian

YouTube.

Nominated by Sick of it.

Baptisms in the garden can be the death of you

 

and are a cunt.

Fucking funny…and a bit of a cunting all in one.

Apparently some blick Christian ‘minister’ offered baptisms in a pool in her garden in Birmingham. So some gormless cunt from Brixton decided that’s right up his street, so travels to Birmingham to see this bird, and then drowns during the baptism! Was all filemd for facebook, then promptly removed (unfortunately!)

Anyway, here’s the BBC link (note no mention of ethnicity..thought they could get away with it, as the names appear more traditionally white than blick, but another link clears this up.

bbcnews

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

Navy DEI hire

 

is a cunt.

Here’s a sad story of a DEI hire which has turned out to be rather expensive for the people of New Zealand. Step forward Yorkshire lass and ex Royal Navy clam jouster Yvonne Gray, captain of the Royal New Zealand Navy’s hydrographic vessel Menawanui.

Under Gray’s command the ship ran aground on a reef off Samoa in 2024 due to a mix-up over the autopilot, whereupon it disgorged oil into the ocean, caught fire and capsized. Kiwi critics said Gray was an over-promoted diversity appointment and should never have been in command, a charge causing the inevitable LGBTQWERTY meltdown. Unfortunately for Gray the top brass take a dim view of the loss of a $100million ship, the RNZN’s only one ever sunk in peacetime, so Gray and 2 colleagues are to be court marshalled for ‘negligently permitting a vessel to be lost’.

The thing is, the Kiwis are a bit strapped for cash right now (sound familiar?) so the Menawanui is not being replaced, leaving their Navy with a grand total of 8 ships. A few more fuck ups like this and I can see their armed forces soon amounting to 15 blokes dressed in black doing the Haka.

yahoo news

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.

Ribbon-Cutting Celebrities

 

Yesterday, Good Friday, was the opening of Grantham Garden Centre and I was chatting to a customer who had gone and had a look.

“Oh it was heaving, loads better than the old place and they had that celebrity Adam Frost there too cutting the ribbon and answering questions”

I had never heard of Adam Frost. Celebrity bloody gardeners! I’d have him crying in the van by ten o’clock tea and biscuits. Turns out he is some arsehole off Gardener’s World. Not even a Titchmarsh or Ron Knee’s love rival, Monty Don. Celebrity cunts really will turn up for the opening of an envelope. Usually some ex-soap ‘star’ or 90’s kids TV presenter that hasn’t been seen for twenty fucking years,who most people thought was either dead or been hovered up in Operation Yewtree. Not famous enough for ‘I’m a Celebrity….but enough pulling power to draw a crowd of saddos.

Never anyone interesting or unpredictable though? Huw Edwards opening a youth club in Llanddewi Brefi or Harvey Price opening anything anywhere. No scissors though!

Needless to say myself or Jack the Cunter were not even considered.

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.