Bugger me, now we start to see the true cut orf the jib orf the first outright Tory majority government for twenty three years. True blue at last? All I see is a red mist rising. Democracy? Under Cameron and Osborne we have a job share dictatorship. There is no cabinet government, just a secret stitch-up by two silver spoon lower ranks cunts. Duncan Smith’s frenzied self abuse during the announcement orf the Minimum Wage by Osborne was evidently a genuine reaction because it was news to him and the rest orf the Government tossers. Shot Labour’s prize fox with that move no doubt but I have absolutely no intention orf paying the inbred deviants that toil upon my a land a ha’penny more. Would destroy at a stroke a delicate rural economy that has relied for generations upon dependency and exploitation.

Inland Revenue given the strongest powers in the Western World to go and directly plunder the bank accounts orf honest hard working punters whom they allege owe a spot orf back tax. Despite massive trails that they would scupper this, the cunts have unleashed the overpaid blood suckers orf the bastard BBC. Any poor old bugger omitting to pay the draconian licence fee for the 24 hour unmitigated shite that passes for alleged programming these days will be committing a criminal offence and clapped up in the chokey at a time when prison suicides and assaults have reached an all time high due to tight arse Osborne’s cutbacks. Must declare me interest here, have never paid this despicable tax upon the culture orf the nation and at my age this has been legal for a good few years.

Once again the shite arsed SNP have proved to be first rate cunts representing a third rate race and shot me fucking fox. Cameron had been forced by his rural constituency to introduce a dodge whereby hunting returns to the countryside (not that it ever really left you bleeding heart liberal cunts) only for the Quisling cunt to lose his bottle in double quick time and withdraw the bill amendment in the face orf the SNP threatening to vote against the proposition which applied to England only. “English Votes for English Laws!” There’s more prospect of yours truly shagging Prince Charlie’s missus that that ever happening.

For the avoidance orf doubt let me state that your humble servant does not ride to hounds. Me old arse is now grown too heavy in the saddle and what with me haemorrhoids….takes a younger man.
Make no qualms about the sport. Spot orf bloodlust and savagery has been an Englishman’s birth right for many generations. Pleasure to watch a pair orf well trained hounds in action. Once the terrier men have flushed oit old Reynard, lead hound will nip in and grab his nose while number two takes a good old grip orf his bollocks. Then they do their best to pull foxy apart while some orf the older dogs come in and rip oit his guts. Don’t ‘alf steam on a cold and frosty morning. Blood spattered all over and old Reynard still making a game orf it. Old Reynard does himself no favours screaming away, only gets the dogs blood up. In come the terrier men and despatch him with a few whacks orf their shovels while the dogs finish pulling him apart. Then I like to get in and cut oit his liver before any other bugger gets to it.

Foxes liver? Highly prized in our circles. Dried and powdered down makes a profoundly effective laxative. Many is the cunt that has wandered in to our parts and been offered an extra topping orn his pizza in the pub. Half the village will look on waiting for the outsider cunt to erupt in a monstrous Vesuvius orf shite. Who would deny us our simple country pleasures?

Also you bleeding heart liberal cunts fail to appreciate the social function orf the occasion. The terrier men would be doing life in Strangeways if it were not for the distraction and gainful employ afforded by the hunt.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke