THE MARKLES: an everyday story of cunty folk (pt. 4).

The story so far;
Having signed a $150m. deal with Netflix to produce films and tv series, Meghan plots her new career as a Hollywood A list ‘power player’.
Now read on;

Lying on her sunbed by the side of the pool, the Duchess of Deceit narrowed her eyes against the blazing California sun and scribbled furiously onto her notepad. Lying restlessly at her side, the Half-blood Prince put down his magazine and stared down at his $1,000 designer trainers. Clearing he throat nervously, he muttered, “erm, is it alright if I tie my laces now, sweetness?”.

In spite of the heat of the day, Harry felt a cold shiver as the Princess of Perfidy swivelled her gaze onto him. “What in heck are ya talkin’ about?” she hissed.

“Ah, is it alright?”, he stammered again. “Only it says here in ‘Celebtwat’ magazine that I can’t even do my shoelaces up without your say so”.

Meagain tapped her pen against her teeth in fury at having her train of thought broken. “Do ya even know how ta do that fer yourself Harry?”, she said icily.

“Well it’s deuced hard old girl”, admitted Halfwit. “One’s used to having a menial to perform these unpleasant tasks, you know. What are you doing, anyway?”.

“Fer Gahd sakes” she muttered. “Ah’m tryin’ ta work on the media release fer the deal. Now lissen up”. The Princess of Perfidy snaked her tongue across her thin lips and began to read. “Now then… ‘our lives have allowed us to understand the power of the human spirit; of courage, resilience and the need for connection. Through our work with diverse communities, our focus will be on content that informs and gives hope. As new parents, making inspirational family programmes is also important to us… Netfix’s reach will help us to shape impactful content that unlocks action’. Mmm, so has that ticked the right boxes; ya know, worthy and virtuous enough for our A-list Tinseltown peers without sounding smug and pious, yet relatable to the common people?”.

Harry grimaced, and his eyes wandered aimlessly. “Er, well sugarlump”, he bleated, “you know I leave that sort of thingy to you…”.

“Is the right answer” murmered Meghan darkly, snaking her body on the sunbed and stretching her sparrow legs. “Meantime, I’ve bin thinkin’ about a name for the new production company, but I haven’t hit on anythin’ just right yet…”.

“I say, but I’ve got a couple of jolly ideas for the company. How about we get dear old Uncle Eddie involved? He got bags of experience at this sort of thing; ‘It’s A Royal Knockout’ and stuff…”.

“Yes, yes, we’ll see”, murmured the Mistress of Manipulation placatingly, ” but we need a name”.

“Sorted”, burbled Harry happily. “Call it ‘Brown Windsor Productions’, what?”.

“Huh?” asked Meghan vaguely, “ain’t that some kinda English soup?”.

“It’s a play on words pumpkin” wittered Halfwit, warming to his theme. “I’m the Windsor bit, you’re the Brown bit; you know, touch of the tarbrush…”.

“Jesus H. Chraast you… you…” stammered Meghan, a pulse beginning to throb menacingly on her forehead. “For Heaven’s sake, gimme some peace. Go up to the nursery and see if the child even knows who ya are. And make yerself useful. Fire the kitchen help an’ the maid. This iced soy latté is like dishwater”.

“Of course sweetness”, said Duke, leaping hastily to his feet, only to fall headfirst into the pool.

“Lissen ya idiot”, yelled the Duchess, as Halfwit sputtered to the surface. “When ya lace yer shoes, you tie the laces separately, NOT together…”.

To be continued.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

 

(For reference, here’s the previous Markles Tomes – DA)

Vol. 1

Vol. 2

Vol. 3

 

45 thoughts on “THE MARKLES: an everyday story of cunty folk (pt. 4).

  1. Good form as always RK – perchance Hairy and Megain can pay for their own security now they have all this money?
    But good to see Shitflix making something that involves over 12’s.
    Which I won’t be watching.

  2. Ginger bollocks wasn’t a royal anyway. Everyone knows he was conceived when his mother had a threesome with that Hewitt bloke and an Orangutan

  3. Ron, if only this series could be made into a sitcom it would be hilarious.

    Netflix have money to burn, 150 million for this pair of dopes.

  4. I’m not interested in the slightest what these vacant twats do.Stay in La La Land.Don’t come back to England.Ironically people will spunk money to watch them.Idiots.

  5. The Crown Estate that manages Buckingham Palace is currently looking to employ a gas engineer to join the maintenance staff who can also walk dogs.
    Must be corgi registered….

  6. The latest comments and reviews of “The Markles”

    “While we believe in freedom of speech, surely there must be some limit to the allowance ne´er-do-wells like Knee are given to insult and cast aspersions on the highest in the land.” Daily Telegraph

    “Mr. Knee, I´d like put you across my knee, as I did with Jeremy, and give your scrawny white bottom such a thrashing that it would exude more heat than Krakatoa in full eruption.” Diane Abbott

    “A phenomenal piece of writing, almost as good as Donald Trump´s The Art of the Deal.“ Donald Trump

    “A disgraceful unpatriotic attack on the monarchy which is the foundation of our proud nation. We trust the Director of Public Prosecution is already arranging for Mr. Knee to be taken into custody and thoroughly interrogated.” Daily Express

    “Phew, what a scorcher. Steamy passion as stiff upper lip English aristo falls for nubile slave girl in a bodice ripper that leaves little to the imagination.” Daily Mirror

    “Obviously Mr. Knee has never been taught good manners or to respect his betters. We urge readers to keep insalubrious material like this out of the hands of their children and servants.” The Lady

    “With this masterpiece, Ron the Red has exposed the hypocrisy of the feudal system that is the base of capitalism and lit the torch that will explode and herald in a Lesbo-Fem-Trot-Trans Cuban-style Marxist paradise.” Socialist Worker

    “Ron, I luv everyfink abaaaaht it. I would love to show my appreciation by tonguing your arsehole. (Wiv Mrs Knee´s kind permission of course.)” BWC

  7. “Inspirational family programmes” from the “new parents” eh? Perhaps Netfucks might get them to introduce their new soft child porn classic “Cuties”. It seems to be going down well with the woke but normal people want it fucked off the telly screens.
    I wonder what Princess Sparkletits has got to say about it?

    • Freddie,

      A full on cunting of the film “Cuties”, Netflix and the degenerates who defend it is definitely in order. I haven’t been able to get to it yet but hope to do so in the near future.

      There is some rumbling in the American Press about the Markles and other celebretards not calling out Netflix for showing this filth. But why would you call out the sexualization of underage children when there are so many other righteous causes…defeating Trump…systemic racism…climate change…BLM…blah blah blah

        • Evening (or afternoon here) Ruff,

          Thanks for the link. Since it was cunted before I rose from the dead I don’t need to cut it again. Of course newly cuntish developments could warrant a recuntng.

          (As is the case with the ongoing cuntventures of the Dipshit Duke and Cunta Hari.)

      • Yes General, if you’re woke it’s “art” and it’s subject to a “right wing witch hunt.” That means Trump doesn’t like it. As far as I know Tango hasn’t said a fucking word but it’s guilt by association. If Trump doesn’t like it then it’s ok. That’s the way it works in your media it seems to me. Trump wants the schools open so let’s keep them closed.

          • Tangoman has ordered a crackdown on child trafficking in the US GC, people being arrested left right and centre, the democ rats tried to block funding for it and Trump effectively told them to fk off.
            And the CEO of Netflix has just been arrested and found to have 13,000 child p*rn images on his computer.
            I hope he knows prison tap language so he can communicate with Harvey in the next cell!
            And Ghislaine Maxwell is chirping like a canary to save her own skin, the as yet unproven rumour is that over 300 of Hollywoods great and good are in the frame.

          • Damn Vern! I missed the Netflix CEO story. That’s huge. I bet the Markles are so proud of their money making association with Netflix that they probably won’t say a single word.

            Good job Mr. President. Busting pedos is always a good thing!

            You “guys” can make fun of him all you want…but deep down inside you know he is all that stands between us and the barbarians at the gate.

          • I freakin love Trump, General.

            He pisses off all the right people 😀

            Viva el Presidente 👍

          • Maybe so, but the Sundance co-founder getting six years for child sex offences certainly ain’t. (‘Cuties’ won big at Sundance, BTW.)

  8. Always an entertaining read Ron.
    £100 million apparently will keep them in the life they want for 5years!!!!!
    5 fucking years? How out of touch are they ? Do they actually know how that looks? Apparently not I guess.
    If only the brain dead masses could see through this bollocks but alas they never will, just like Price and the rest of the z list celebricunts the masses want to know what they get up to.
    I really do not get it.
    Do they not know when they buy these mags and watch the programs on tv it’s fuelling these cunts even more. Most plebs couldn’t earn in a lifetime what these vacuous cunts earn in a year but they just don’t see it.
    Where’s me pills 💊

  9. I can only imagine that the type of programme these twats would make would be like a cross between The Royal Family and At Home With The Kardashian. Utter shite!

  10. If Meghan ever wants to do a porno she can count on me to be her co-star.

    I’ll come around to fix her solid gold washing machine, while ginger bollocks has been sent by his missus to some feminist workshop in a forest somewhere far away.

    Yes, I’ll gladly come around with my ‘tool’ to sort her out and leave her with a big smile on her face. As well as a facefull of my knuckle children.

    So as long as she’s up for a balding, farting, beer bellied, hairy arsed, middle aged slaphead to give her the best 20 seconds of her life, job’s a good un.

    Although I do expect her to make me a sandwich straight after and perhaps get me a cold one from the fridge

    If not, she can fucking forget it, the ungrateful tart.

    • Lol no shame you sound better looking than that dozy fucker who calls himself a prince!
      Me personally id do the same but with a bag over her head and leave her dead !

  11. Mrs C is currently reading Lady Colin Campbell’s offering on these pair of twats, but, I’ll wager it is neither as well written or indeed as accurate as that penned by Mr Knee.

  12. I wonder what kind of Netshit content they’ll make? Their first film will probably be about a lesbian couple who raise a gender neutral daughter that becomes a boy and travels to the Arctic to measure the melted ice cap blah blah blah.

  13. TT GC@ – correct – I was done over by the Toronto Today – it is indeed a hoax!
    Bad form! – I’m sending our kid over for a word with them! 😱
    (He has none of my legendary reserve!).

  14. Top work Ron Knee, your magnum opus is my shoe-in for the Booker Prize this year – by which I mean I will give the judges a good shoe-ing until they let it win!

  15. Brilliant writing !

    On a par with A History of the English-Speaking Peoples, A Dance to the Music of Time, and The Fortunes of War.

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