Couldn’t find a pic of someone crippling James Corden, sadly.

Call me a soppy fuckwit, but I like a good charidee football match. Former pro’s in middle age showing they’ve still got it and the odd famous face maybe showing a bit of class. Soccer aid should therefore be right up my strasse, but is invariably ruined by multiple examples of cuntitude.

Robbie Williams, the great pretender. Pretending he’s Alf Ramsey for 90 minutes and still pretending he’s heterosexual. All this whilst banging on about how he alone came up with this vanity project and should be lauded thus.

Alex fucking Scott (Again!!) bouncing around pitch side like a 12 year old. Dermot O’Growly with his personality free presenting skills and Micah Richards, still blissfully unaware that he is employed as a token and nothing else.

The sleb players, of mostly indifferent quality, loving every minute of their chance to self promote, make the ex pro footballers look like paragons of humility. The only good thing to come out of this wankfest was the irrefutable evidence that wimminz footballers are inadequate in every respect and were, basically, shown up to a degree where even I felt embarrassed for them. Still, never mind love. There’s always shirts in need of ironing.

Link to the “all star” lineup

Nominated by – Field Marshal Cuntgomery

Hypocritical cunts, one and all ( but we already knew that)

Newspaper headlines today, Queens funeral plans leaked! Find the traitor, roars one publication. Questions must be asked, whines another. From whom? It’s all pap at its most hypocritical, because having denounced the leak as a ” traitor” what does our reporting industry do?

Yes, that’s right, publish the funeral plan in excruciating detail.

What a bunch of hypocritical cunts!

News Link

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

(I could have uploaded a header pic of Kenzie Lutece, but realised that the image of Carrie-Anne Moss’ arse was just too great! Her arse is The One – Day Admin)

“The Matrix” is one of my all-time favourite films (okay, the sequels stank the place out, but that’s another story).

I’ve watched it many times over the years, drawn back to its intriguing, complex narrative, fine script and acting, and stunning visuals. Oh, and to the mouth-watering sight of Carrie-Anne Moss’s stunningly tight little arse. Especially to the sight of Carrie-Anne Moss’s stunningly tight little arse.

It appears, however, that there’s a more deeply philosophical interpretation of the film which has eluded my understanding until now. “The Matrix”, I’ve learned, is a trans allegory!

I’m deeply grateful to one Kenzie Lutece for this staggering insight. Lutece is a self-styled “trans, Jewish and leftist”, who writes of the film that while “the messages about ‘breaking from the systems of oppression’ are generally applicable (the battery metaphor is obviously ** capitalism), much of the movie’s symbolism and language is ‘explicitly’ trans”. Anyone seeking a more detailed presentation of this thesis may care to try the link below.

There’s obviously something to this; I mean, haven’t the Wachowski brothers now come out as the Wachowski sisters?

Be that as it may, I’m deeply indebted to Lutece for deeping my understanding of the complexities of the film. That “The Matrix” is a trans allegory is something that I really needed to know, and this will indeed take my enjoyment and appreciation of this classic to a new level, as I’m sure it will yours.
*cough*

**obviously? yeah, right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WyO6vVgL-M

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(Woke Plod in action – arrest the innocent, give a pass to cunts – Day Admin)

I feel obliged to cunt this bunch of idiotic arseholes who think they can save the planet by sitting in a busy road and stopping thea traffic.

I’ll declare an interest: I am in complete agreement that man-made climate change threatens the planet, and urgent action is required even to limit the damage to something vaguely tolerable. And I even agree that rather than HS2, or NHS management, serious money needs to be spent on home insulation. But antagonising the public? That’s on the far side of counterproductive.

These cunts are not only cunts for blocking emergency services, essential transport and even the poor bloody commuter. They are cunts because they might just as well be working for Exxon. Because they exactly fit the image the oil and coal industries would like to project, of anyone who objects to the fossil fuel industry’s cries of “lalalala, nothing’s happening”, and they alienate the public they should be informing.

I am aware that the Trumpeters among us will disagree with my reasons. But I am hopeful our conclusions will converge. These people are cunts.

News Link

Nominated by: Komodo

Poor old Madonna. The old tart just doesn’t get it, does she?

Encased in her bubble of self-delusion, and no doubt egged on by sycophantic hangers-on, she can’t help but flaunt herself as if she’s still the outrageous, sex-on-a-stick pop and style icon of the 80s.

Sadly no; to the amusement of cunters everywhere, her antics grow increasingly laughable by the week. Take her BDSM-themed appearance at the recent MTV Video Music Awards. What a ridiculous, cringe-inducing spectacle.

Still, at least I was able to amuse myself for a while trying to figure out where the flesh ends and the silicon begins. Her face looks like a death mask, her tits are positively pneumatic. Oh, and have a look at those arse implants. Jesus, I wouldn’t, not even with somebody else’s.

A word in your shell-like, my dear. Growing old is part of life, as is learning to grow old gracefully. Still, if you want to act like a twat and give us all a good laugh, then I suppose that’s your prerogative.

News Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee