Danger tourists are arrogant cunts. We are supposed to feel sorry for two middle class western wankers who embark on a self-indulgent look at me road trip from Europe to Australia, and think it’ll be clever to pass through Iran en route – one of the most dangerous countries in the world governed by homocidal theocratic psychopaths with an emphatically declared genocidal hatred of the west. These pricks no doubt thought it would all be fine, might even prove that all this hype about a country that’s run as an Islamic theocracy is actually full of warm, cuddly, bearded teddy bears. So what happens? They get banged up accused of being western spies. Surprise surprise! And now they, and their family, want to complicate the diplomatic chaos of the Iranian war with pleas for their release. How do they think a death obsessed fanatical Abdullah, who thinks nothing of murdering thousands of his own citizens, is going to respond to that? Take pity on them? Or see this as a bargaining chip with the weak and sentimental infidel?
No sorry, fuck em. You choose to flaunt all of the very clearly stated warnings in favour of a vanity project that is no doubt also motivated by some soppy middle class lefty determination to show what lovely people the carpet kissers are, you fucking deal with it when you get banged up in a filthy medieval prison cell and are left to the mercy of your cuddly tormentors.
Nominated by : Balsamic Dave
Climbing Everest has to be one of the most stupid things it is possible to do.
First up, it costs in the region of £50k for all the travel, kit, guides and training required to even consider reaching the peak.
Then when you finally get near the top, theres a fucking queue of other stupid cunts, all waiting their turn to take that selfie they think will make their friends green with envy. It won’t. But they will be amazed at your missing toes and fingers lost to frostbite. And that’s the best possible outcome.
The worst possible outcome is succumbing to the harsh environment and becoming a way marker for generations of other fucking idiots to navigate by.
See ‘Green boots’ and ‘Sleeping beauty’ for just two such incidents.
If I ever wanted to see the top of Everest, I’d charter a plane and fly over it, while sipping a gin and tonic and making wanker signs at the twats freezing to death on the summit.
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someone said to me,
hey mis how’d you fancy going to some red hot oven of a country,
get eaten by mosquito
the shits from the food
and internal parasites from the drinking water,
then go get in a cage underwater with a big fuck off shark
or jump off a bridge on a bit of elastic while some long haired surfboard twat shouted
‘go for it dude!”
Let’s just say I’d be less than enthusiastic.
i like calm.
a sedate holiday.
hanky on my head in a deckchair.
Danger is best avoided.
like Americans.
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Adrenaline junkies.
Hey look at me!
you all looking?
look what I’m doing,
I’m crazy aren’t I?”
fuck off.
I’m always happy when one of these tit’s faceplants off a tower or bridge,
eaten by sharks
buried in avalanche
or the parachute fails.
The God’s of Commonsense dispensing natural justice.
wow dude, Kai sure hit the ground hard.
gnarly.
hes spread over 20ft.
i filmed it all.
my commiserations.
hey look, his teeth imbedded into the pavement.
6
Now that I would laugh at.
5
Just while I’m thinking about it, other high profile trips that ended badly include:
1. .That billionaire and his kid going to see the Titanic slowly rusting away in a capsule made of ply wood, fibreglass, expanding foam and P40 isopon
A loud bang was the last thing anyone (including them, probably) ever heard.
Their remains were brought back to their grieving family on a couple of shoe boxes.
2. Silly Italian tart Pippa Bacca’s attempt to hitch hike across the middle east in a wedding dress to promote peace and unity ended badly when she was raped and strangled in Turkey.
Pippa’s last thoughts were probably “I wonder if all Muslim cocks taste like goat shit” as she had the life choked out of her.
3. Vittorio Arrigoni was a virtue signalling Italian fuckwit who thought that jihadis were just misunderstood little teddy bears who needed a good hug and a sing song round the camp fire to stop their murderous jihadi ways.
Turns out Vittorio was wrong. Very wrong.
He was beaten shirtless and then strangled by his pets.
All four of the people are proud recipient’s of the Darwin award.
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Excellent stuff, chaps! Wish I had time to cuntribute today.
Fucking work!
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On the plus side Craig has lost about 16kg since being in prison.
On the downside that Fitbit watch was a waste of money and was stolen by the guards anyway.
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