It takes a special sort of chutzpah to out-cunt a whole gang of cunts of fakes, benders, virtue signallers and sons of toolmakers, but Rachel from Accounts has managed it.

For years the brainless tart has posed as an economist – that is until yesterday morning. The morning after her grand speech at the Lord Mayor’s banquet (I wonder if somebody had a word in her shell-like?) , it turns out this blueprint for a lavatory brush, has changed her status from “economist” to a mere “retail banking” credit.

Not unsurprisingly, the BBC failed to mention this gross deception. How different it would have been if a Conservative had told such a massive lie and kept stoking it up for years:

Guido Fawkes.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

Poor old Whoopi Cushion. You’ve got to feel for her plight. Aside from having one of the worst cases of Trump Derangement Syndrome known to medical science, it looks as though she’s really feeling the pinch financially.

Speaking recently on the box about the US economy and the presidential election, Gobshite Goldberg claimed to relate to the plight of millions of ordinary Americans who are struggling to make ends meet. ‘I appreciate that people are having a hard time. Me too. I work for a living’. Then The Cushion continued ‘if I had all the money in the world, I would not be here. So I’m a working person… I know it’s hard out there’.

Yes, it must be really tough for this self-styled ‘working class American’. She makes it sound as though she’s really struggling, and having to pick herself up every day for another twelve hours at the coal face in an attempt to make ends meet. She’s barely getting by on the few million a year she scrapes from hosting shit show chat show ‘The View’. She’s down to her last four houses apparently.

Now I could understand it if she’d said something along the lines of ‘I’ve been poor, I know what it’s like and I sympathise’, but how’s anyone supposed to take seriously a multi-millionaire who still tries to sound like she’s struggling just to get by? Who is she trying to kid?

The insufferable Goldberg might just be the most tone-deaf individual in America.

Daily Mail

Nominated by: Ron Knee

Daily Express.

Migrants. No wonder they keep on coming here:

1) Full board in four or five star hotels
2) Free iPhones
3) Free clothing
4) Cash allowances
5) Free transport
6) Lawyers on legal aid
7) Free private health care available on demand

No chance of deportation either. Fucking establishment wankers. There will be riots on the streets again: good.

Nominated by : Heywood Jablowme

The ‘pope’…

… is, in the real world, an absolutely useless, worthless cunt. A fucking figurehead of one of the planet’s greatest crocks of shit/hypocrisies, … some of the cunts maybe even believe the shit they espouse. Yuk. But either way (ecumenical believer or wealth-covetous deceiver), they are invariably a cunt of some magnitude.

The current one is, as they all do, sticking his nose in to affairs to which one assumes he COULD exert some bit more influence, if he really gave a genuine shit beyond the brand, ..or was willing to risk a red cent of his institution’s hundreds-of-billions of accrued wealth. Big, right-on opinions on the starving, the poor, … on everyone(else’s)obligations to millions of illegally-arriving immigrant filth scum all over Europe and the world(not the vatican though, no sir!) ; .. or the token oppressed this, token that and the fucking token other. (Except the Society of ex-abused altar boys but I digress). [please stop with the crazy punctuation or bin next time – Day Admin]

The cunts are always ‘calling on’ outside parties to investigate things, as per headline. It always reeks of pretending to give a shit, to me. Similarly to how – for example, in this situation, the Paddy government(also with a built-in deference to the pope-led cult) has been making similar soundbites for the past 400ish days, whilst making the square-root of fuck-all of any difference in real terms. Shit or get off the pot, cunts! On all your ’causes’.

Back to the christian jefe. Spend a tiny percentage of your global corporation’s ill-gotten gains(on something besides cover-ups), or just fuck off and stop pontificating. Words are cheap. Especially coming from the press office(s) of obscenely mega-wealthy…

So fuck the pope. The current one, the previous ones and any future ones too. And all their equally cuntish religious counterparts as well.

Sky News

See also The Onion

Nominated by: CuntemAll

El cactus de las pesadillas.

The garden at Casa Cunter is tended to by Mrs Cunter.
Unfortunately, her enthusiasm is not backed up with any skill whatsoever.

A neighbour dropped by and gave us a small cactus in a pot.
The wife put it on a table on the terrace.

It looked like an underdeveloped but nevertheless erect cock.
I suggested that it was Pákí size, but Mrs Cunter corrected me by saying that it was bigger, more like Jap dimensions.
She has obviously been online for advice.

She thought that it looked amusing on the table.

In only a few short weeks the cactus had doubled in size and even grown what could be described as a bell end.

Even more amusement for her.
She took selfies with the rude cactus and sent them to her friends.

About a month later and with more growth she decided to plant the cactus in the ground.
It already had evil spikes so she wrapped it up in wads of newspaper and wore thick gardening gloves.

Now I always thought that cacti were slow growing, but this fucker was the exception to the rule.

She still thought it was funny to have a one and a half meter cock growing in the garden.

Tiny side shoots appeared but these soon developed into what looked like arms.
The ‘bell end’ had swollen into a head shape.

Mrs Cunter started to take a dislike to the plant. Possibly because it no longer resembled a huge cock.

She started to call it “That fucking thing”.

Within a year of getting the cactus and with it now at over 2 meters tall she decided that “The fucking thing” had to go.

Easier said than done.

You can’t just pull it out of the ground and take it round to the bins.
By now the fucking thing had huge spikes.
Of course I could have chopped it down with a machete, but how the fuck do I get the bits in the rubbish?
It’s not like I could pick up the spikey parts and put them in a bin bag.

By now Mrs Cunter was getting scared.
She thought the fucking thing was going to take over the garden and come after her.
It had already grown arms so she reasoned that it would soon grow legs.

A few month’s later and with the fucking thing at about 3 meters tall we booked some building work to be done at Casa Cunter.

Luckily a skip was delivered and I carefully hacked the fucking thing to pieces.

Mrs Cunter encouraged me…..
“Kill the fucking thing!” she was shouting from a distance.

With great care the cactus was consigned to the skip.
The next day I dug what was left of it out of the ground.
It was then that I got stabbed by a tiny spike.

That little puncture wound in my wrist turned into ringworm.

No, I didn’t know that you could get it from cactus plants either, but you can.
It quickly spread and it took a year’s worth of anti fungal pills and special soap to get rid of it.

The revenge of “The Fucking Thing”.

That’s Life style pictures of cacti.

Nominated by : The Artful Cunter