Anyone who knows me at all will assume that I hate Christmas, but this simply isn’t so. I actually like Christmas. What I hate is all the shit, that goes with – or more precisely before – Christmas.

As our Christmas song pointed out a couple of years back “it starts in September, goes on through December and peaks in November in Black Friday Week” and this year is even worse.

The muzak and tat in the shops is bad enough and so is the rampant commercialism. But this year seems to have hit a new low. I blame John Lewis for starting it all off and now everyone is jumping on the bandwagon with their very own Christmas Advert.

These toe curling piles of excrement feature the most tear jerking, long winded, bastardisations of any traditional or even approximately traditional stories the ad men can get their hands on, no doubt extracting vast piles of gelt for their efforts.

From Aldi’s Dicken’s Christmas Carrot, some half arsed rendering of ET from John Lewis, M&S with no less than TWO Christmas ads, Lidl carving the turkey with some kind of light sabre – the list is endless.

But they all have two things I common : the groaning tables full of toe-curlingly gluttonous mountains of food, and the fact that they are all way too long. I never watch live commercial TV channels and always record programs to watch later just so I can fast forward the ads. Life’s too short to spend 25% of your telly time watching ads.

It’s certainly much to short to spend it watching these piles of crap.

And if you really can’t bear to miss them, here’s a link to a run down of this year’s top ten, published in, irony of ironies, the non commercial BBC’s very own organ, the Radio Times.

‘Stuff your arse with sprigs of Holly, Trala la la la, Lala la ouch’

Humbug.

Radio Times TV Link

Nominated by: Dioclese

And seconded by: Spanky Mc Spank

I second this one, I hate advertising in general but the Christmas ones are the pinnacle of festering dog shit.

The product of some committee and coked-up execs who think they know what people want, these commercials are just part of the problem that is “Christmas”

Greed, debt, alcoholism and forced enjoyment wrapped up in some sort of false celebration of a magical sky fairy that nobody believes in and half the imported population doesn’t recognise.

If the execs really think we sit round a table heaving with shite while the united nation of coloured folk dance to Jingle Bells they are indeed deluded.

Now I have a machine gun…Ho Ho Ho

And there’s more, this time from Shitonshoe

Christmas TV adverts …..Christmas TV adverts.. how many I’m fucking colours do you have to have in your family to go on television…

The next time some fucking stupid PC wet behind ears nappy wearing moron.. decides that every family has to have a black cunt or a Chinese cunk or even a ginger cunting member sitting round a table smiling cutting up a fucking turkey at Christmas… it’s beyond belief..

And you can’t even buy a fucking sofa unless you’re black… Unbelievable Jeff.

President of the Girls Schools Association (private, posh, exclusive and very, very expensive) Sam the Slapper has slagged off the “older generations” for mocking the concerns of the yoot about “BLM, sexual harassment, gender identity and climate change” and calling them “wokies” and “snowflakes”.

This, apparently, undermines their confidence.

Tough titty Samantha, maybe they should toughen up a bit instead of having posh bints like you wiping their arses.

She also says “i’m getting a little weary of the older generation saying ‘you can’t say anything anymore.’ The fact is times have changed and we simply have to keep up with them.”

Yeah, and who changed them?…..posh bitches like you who want the plebs to shut up and do as they are told. Well fuck you, you wokie snowflake brainwashing bitch. Fuck off and then fuck off again you fake fucking commie scrubber.

Sorry, can’t do links but you’ll find the Guardian licking her posh arse.

Nominated by: W.C. Boggs

Helpful links supplied by Ruff Tuff Creampuff and Sick of it 

YouTube Link

Guardian News Link

Just when you think the fuckwittery of London can’t get any worse, along comes a group of wimminz on Hampstead Heath (led you will notice with a darkie in front) who want to draw attention to how the poor downtrodden wimminz have suffered most during Covid, with their brats and their monthlies.

Such heroism deserves something really especially shitty and laughable, so may I present for your piss boiling several Mother Xmases:

MyLondon News Link

I thought it was all the BAMEs and trannies that had suffered most during Covid?. Not to mention the poofters, who can’t use their favourite public lavatories to get acquainted?. Never mind – wimminz – it’s yet another group close to the heart of Dame Keir, whom, I am sure, will adjust his truss and get down to take a knee.

Nominated by: W.C. Boggs

(This nom is obviously covid-related. So please no personal attacks or any other aggressive actions that we saw in a previous Post. Thanks – Day Admin)

Recruiting staff is a cunt and it has got worse over the past few years.

Whenever I have a vacancy to fill I advertise the job description and stipulate CV’s ONLY.

That’s the first challenge for the candidate.
Can they follow simple instructions?

In most cases the answer is no.

Along with a CV they just can’t help asking questions.
And the questions are often astonishing.

Could you tell me how many weeks paid holiday I get?
Do I still get paid for being off sick?
Can I work from home?
Can I work from 10 until 2 as I have kids at school?

The actual content of the CV’s is unimportant to me.
They usually contain the same shit.

‘I am a great communicator’
‘I am a people person’
‘I work well alone and also as part of a team’
‘I am looking to expand my boundaries’
‘I want new challenges’

It’s all nonsense and shows no imagination.

On many occasions the candidate will send a CV where the grammar and spelling is appalling.Demonstrating their laziness by not using a spell checker.

I had one from someone that lived in ‘Engerland’.

People send me their generic CV’s.
I have had them from people that are ‘passionate about logistics’ and one from someone who ‘wanted to forge a career in the pet food industry’.

My company has nothing to do with logistics (deliveries? ) or pet food, but that doesn’t matter to these cretins. They don’t have the intelligence to adapt their CV’s for the job advertised.

I had a CV which was completely illegible as it was written in at least 20 different fonts in lots of bright colours. The cunt wanted to redesign my website.

One fucking idiot refused to send me his CV until I told him all about the job on offer.
He said that his CV contained personal information that he didn’t want to share.

One memorable CV was 6 pages long and listed every job that the cunt had ever had.
Many of the jobs he was in for just a month or two.

CV’s are important to me as an employer. But I am more interested in how they are presented rather than what is written in them.

It’s as if none of these cunts want a job and they will be the first to complain when their applications are ignored.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter