Mohammed Saidu

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Mohammed Saidu is a shit storing cunt.

bbcnews

Too funny to not post here, this article has it all. Pidgin English, Mo’s 50 or so sacks of shit, suitably outraged neighbours along with the fact finding mission our magistrates and judges could learn from, going along to see/smell the horrors of di bags of poo-poo for herself before sentencing the dirty cunt.

Nominated by Cunt of the Isles.

96 thoughts on “Mohammed Saidu”

  1. What the BBC failed to mention was that this gentleman imported all the shit that came from the mouth and anus of Sir Keir Rodney Starmer KC KBE, between Jul 2024 and July 2026. He bought it wholesale from the source

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    • I think, W. C. Boggs. King Shite Remrats should be used as a shit house plunger, for all the mess the arse bandit created.

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  3. Perhaps before they made him shift the poo poo, they should have got Angela Rayner and Bridget Phillipson to pose with it. As the old saying has it “where there’s muck there’s brass”

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  4. Slightly O/T, but still with the BBfuckingC, I see they’ve wheeled out an old favourite for us thicko’s.
    ‘Suffolk wildfire grows to the size of 140 football pitches!’
    Which is ok if you know how big a football pitch is and what type.
    Are they on about under 7s, under 9s, under16s, 5 aside?
    And I’m sure they’ll be itching to tell us how high the flames are in the scale of double decker buses.
    It’s like watching fucking Newsround.

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    • The pitches might be Subbuteo and the height of the flames measured in Matchbox model double deckers and the BBC would still sensationalise it and tell us how many non-whites had been made homeless.

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  6. What’s also as bad as shit coming out of the arse, is cunts who deliver stuff to other lazy cunts and leave the engine running. I’m forever going out telling them to turn off engines. I go and get what I want travelling on buses and cycling. Ah, fat cunts get off your lay fat arses and go shopping.

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  7. i once went a house where the woman had been spewing into bags, shitting in bags and pissing in bottles.
    social services job.

    The smell hit you like a sledgehammer
    my labourer instantly spewed up outside in a grid.

    id done one like it before and carry a jar of Vics vapour rub.
    i coated my beard, moustache, nose in it
    and put a mask on .
    still smell it.
    we used the full jar of vics, just took the edge off it.

    The floor was just litter.
    like at the tip,
    and she walked round in barefeet with massive toenails like eagle claws.

    i skipped dinner that day.

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    • I had a similar experience when I did what we called a snatch back, involving a motability car years ago.
      (The ‘owner’ was a fruit loop spacca who wouldn’t hand the car back when requested)
      Anyway, we got a spare key and off we went with the truck.
      When I opened the drivers door, the stench of ammonia nearly knocked me off my feet.
      She’d been pissing herself whilst driving and simply covered the mess with a towel or blanket until the next time.
      She then put the soiled items in the boot and repeated as necessary.
      I pity the poor fucker who had to clean that car.
      And the poor fucker who eventually bought it at auction.

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      • I’ve never had customers as bad as that but I did have one and I knew the lady who was their cleaner. She said the family were absolute pigs. She was a magistrate and he was a published author with three kids. Yet you could go out and find someone who cleans toilets for a living and their house is like a show home.

  9. 50 bags of human shite slowly fermenting in the african sun..

    bet Harvey Price smells similar?

    no.wonder his neighbours werent best pleased.

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  11. OT, Jodrell Bank funding of £2,800,000 to be withdrawn putting its future in doubt. Jodrell Bank is managed by UMIST. Our PM was mayor of Manchester last week.

    We are governed by philistines.

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    • It’s a piffling amount when you consider the kind of figures being spunked on truly pointless and futile exercises.
      Like No.10 North, for example.

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      • Indeed, Field Marshal.

        I believe our new northern King has just announced some outrageous sum, £13m or thereabouts, for Pakistan.

        Why? What have they done for us, ever?

    • i like Jodrell bank peeping out from the cheshire countryside.

      its iconic, they have a music festival there and shoot laser images onto the disc.

      But fuck me the tour is boring.
      and the giftshop is rubbish.

      Remember taking my kids when little they were bored to tears an so was i .
      they didnt buy anything in the gift shop and on leaving were like Nelson Mandela getting out of prison.

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      • I think Brian May was offered a job there, Mis.
        Apparently his old man was well pissed off that he chose to become a multimillionaire rock god instead.
        There’s no pleasing some parents.

      • ps
        i could turn that place round in a month.
        make it a earner.

        someone always asks

        ” have you ever had any messages from outer space?’

        the tour guide who went the kier starmer academy of charm
        replies “no”.

        fuck that you monotone cunt!

        id say
        ” funny you mentioned that we got this, this morning”..

        PEOPLE OF EARTH
        WE DEMAND YOUR SURRENDER

        SO SAYS KARG
        OF THE MYSTERONS.

        everyone raises their eyebrows,
        then the alarms start going off.
        dont panic dont panic,
        then the sound of explosions.
        and 4 little green men with rayguns burst in!!

        worth the tenner entry fee
        and the rubber alien toys and toy rayguns will boost the giftshop.

        who the fuck runs it?
        the Labour party?

      • Not that he should have to but maybe Elon Musk might step in? He is a space geek and £2.8m is what he earns in a couple of minutes. He could go for a leisurely crap and fund it for the next ten years.

      • Many years ago I with future wife where driving a country road in the evening on the way to the pub.

        We stopped because there was a cylindrical light approx 100′ long motionless in the sky approximately 1000′ above us.

        Neither of us spoke, then all of a sudden. Gone, no movement just gone..!

        This was before we had been for a pint… Very strange..👽

      • Doc@

        years ago i was doing security on heavy plant up in Rawtenstall.
        i walked up a hill , winter around 5.30pm and a huge disc of light passed over me in the sky.

        i stood there openmouthed.
        what the fuck?!

        Then another one.
        and another.
        i genuinely thought it was the day mars attacked.
        i walked a bit further up the hill and stood watching,
        then i noticed something.

        Down below was a road,
        and everytime a car with its headlights passed a disc of light flew across the clouds!!

        it was a weather phenomenom.
        something to do with cloud density.

        If i hadnt gone that bit further up id swear id seen a fleet of UFO.

  12. ive always thought id like to run boat trips at Loch Ness.
    id be a millionaire within a year.

    Give people what they want.
    Everyone would have a sighting of the monster once theyd paid me.
    id see to it.

    ” it was smashing under the boat dad!
    i thought we were all gonna die,
    eaten alive by the monster.
    ive never been so scared!!
    can i have another go?”

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    • This event was nowhere near another road, the pub we were heading to was actually only accessable via a unmade farm track surrounded by fields and no lighting.

      In effect in the middle of darkness..!

      Bloke I worked with reckoned we’d been alien abducted..!

      It may explain a few things though..👽

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    • That was a disappointment, UT.
      I tried the following.
      Cunt
      I love raping and stabbing
      Give me chicken
      I’m a filthy Nigerian
      And none one them translated to pidgin.
      I don’t think it’s working properly.

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      • your wasting our valuable time Terry.😡

        i typed
        “im a fucking parasite’

        nothing.

        you should be ashamed of yourself playing tricks on elderly gammons like us.

      • Come now gentlemen its a Pidginator..

        Guaranteed to be fucking hopeless and truly baffling.

        I strongly expect it to form much of our govt policy by autumn..

        Silly me,it has been for decades.

        What’s Pidgin for Oven?

        Good evening.

      • Well, if a microwave is a “dat ping-ping, then an oven must be “not da ping-ping”.

        Fuck knows what they call an air fryer.

      • I tried something a bit more sophisticated ..

        Be, or no bi be, dat na di kweshion:
        weda ’tis nobler for di mind to suffer
        di slings and arrows for outrageous fortune,
        or no tek arms against a sea for troubles…

        meh.

        Next one’s much better…

        for 1972, a crack commando unit dey send am bin expect by a military court for a crime dem didn’t commit. Dis men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade go di los angeles underground. Today, still promise by di goment, dem survive as soldiers for fortune. If you get a wahala, if no bodi else fit help and if you fit find dem. Maybe you fit hire, di A-team

    • Oh hang on.
      I think it works better with more well known and expected phrases like this.

      You fit tell me wia di benefits office na

      (Can you tell me where the benefits office is)

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      • And this.
        Which needs no explanation.

        Wia are di underage girls?

      • Sorry. Just one more.

        I didn’t sabi im na 12 years old. I wan a solicitor

      • nah be tap electrons, FMC… it dey sharp..it dey sharp!

        ***

        For di beginning god created di heavens and di earth. Now di earth na formless and empty, darkness na ova di surface for di deep, and di spirit for god na hovering ova di waters.
        and god say, “let dia be lait,” and dia na lait. God see say di lait na gud, and im separated di lait from di darkness. God dem dey call di lait “day,” and di darkness im dem dey call “night. ” and dia na evening, and dia na morning …

        😇

  16. In 1970 the BBFC made Ken Russell take out Vanessa Redgrave’s line “Jesus, King of Shit!” as she was being forcibly given an enema in The Devils. Half a century later we have a shit worshipper worshipping his King of Shit.

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