I remember when Christmas TV adverts were fun and had no pretensions or political agenda. Joe Brown advertising for Woolies. Eric and Ernie playing Atari arcade games, the Famous Grouse adverts. But now every commercial is either smug, pretentious, or fucking woke. Here are the ones that annoy me the most…

Greedy Hollywood bastards like Natalie Portman and Julia Roberts advertising the latest overpriced bottled piss by Dior or Calvin Klein. Haven’t these money grabbing cunts got enough money?

The ‘traditional’ Christmas advert being blackjacked. The one where there’s a typical British family around the dinner table in the traditional setting. Then a black bloke appears as ‘master of the house’ carrying the turkey. How and why? He’s the only black person there. It doesn’t make sense. The usual logic defying woke bollocks. Just shoehorn the dark personage in regardless.

Also, every white woman in these adverts has to be with a black man. According to these modern Christmas commercials, every marriage in the UK is mixed race, and every family has one white kid and one black kid. Total bollocks, of course.

The staggeringly pretentious chocolate adverts. That Lindt/Lindor one. Where some daft cow goes on about it being made ‘especially for you by the Master Chocolatier’. That’s the sort of bullshit that Viz’s Foodie Bollocks and Real Ale Twats takes the piss out of. Who gives a fuck, as long as they can eat it? Also, the ridiculous crunching sound, that sounds like Richie from Bottom getting his bollocks caught in the door. It used to be Roses, Quality Street and Chocolate Orange. Now it’s all this overpriced teeth rotting shite.

Well past it celebrities who were never that good anyway advertising Christmas. That Dawn French fairy thing on the M&S commercials? Which bright spark thought of that? As if an unfunny minger like Dawn fucking French is going to boost sales. The old M&S Christmas adverts with sexy birds in lingerie were much better. After her sickening ‘BLM’ Vicar of Dibley episode, Fatty French should have been banned from telly for life, the cunt.

And Tesco usually always choose some smug celebrity cunt for their Christmas adverts (as if the cunt in the advert actually shops there). I dare say James Corden’s fat face will be on some Christmas advert or other. In actual fact, this year’s Tesco ad is a ‘lecture’ to ‘educate’ us about the cost of living crisis. Naturally, it’s crammed with dark personages. Patronising as fuck.

You Tube Link

Nominated by: Norman

And supported by: DCI Gene Cunt

Top-notch cunting that I’d like to second, if I may. The ‘family’, sitting around the table eating Christmas dinner? It looks like the dining table at the United fucking Nations. Whichever company that’s advertising. Don’t forget the ubiquitous frizzy-haired mixed-race kids that Dickens’d have sweeping chimneys with their frizzy nuts in one of his books. Bring back PROPER Christmas ads:

YouTube Link

Enjoy the clip, and shed a tear at what/who we’ve lost.

The charidee Water Aid is a cunt stuffed to the gunnels with cunts.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm_bJdqHSuc

Viewer discretion required – this ad has it all – climate change, oppression of women, racism. CMC will not be held responsible for any offence caused. You

Their relentless TV ads on the likes of Dave and ITV4 personify just how cuntish (and actually racist) these never done a real days work in their lives lefty bastards really are.

If for just a few seconds you actually scrutinise the claims they make as opposed to immediately texting ‘give us £3 you Cunt’ surely you’d have a ‘hang on a minute’ moment.

Oh and why is it always places in Africa that need our help?

Mankind has developed and thrived by learning the lessons and mistakes of the past.

In the U.K. back in the times of the Industrial Revolution Cholera outbreaks weren’t uncommon and in time they were traced to poor sanitation of water supplies.

So we did something about it and those lessons were subsequently shipped all around the world for everyone to learn from and for free.

But not the Africans apparently.

In Africa there are tribes that can stalk big game for weeks without being detected, skills similar to those used by Special Forces but when it comes to being able to provide clean water for Safia they are fucking clueless.

Not got a Scooby Doo.

The most basic need for humans to survive is water / food / shelter but they just can’t get the water part of the deal.

And so it falls to NGO’s like Water Aid to provide this invaluable service.

Get fucked. The only service these bloated lanyard wearing coffee breath cunts provide is a big fat fucking salary for themselves, 6 weeks paid annual leave, multiple ‘away days’ to discuss the finer arts of yoghurt knitting and, the latest list of banned words and how to spot micro aggressions.

Water Aid is a Cunt in a long line of charidee scams.

Nominated by : CuntyMcCuntface

And on the subject of charities, here’s a contribution from Technocunt

I know that this has been nominated here many times before, but it still pisses me off to either get accosted by chuggers or end up with appeals stuffed through my letterbox asking for financial support for various national and/or causes.

The latest ones being the homeless here in the UK (no 4* hotels for them it seems), starving cunts in Africa (cunts who have been starving for decades but can still fuck like rabbits); the underclass in the UK (food banks mostly), and of course Children Still in Fucking Need!

Ever since the Cost of Living became a Thing, charities have been going into overdrive with their appeals to the masses wanting more and more of your money to be reallocated to those “greatly affected”

But we all know that a lot of these major charities are run more like a business, with CEOs on 6 figure salaries, and other higher-ups on 5 figure salaries, plus all the admin staff and blah blah blah to the point where at a guess for every £1 donated perhaps only 30p actually reaches those cunts in need.

And in any case this country is going through several major crisis of its own making – or rather that of this fucking government, a government intent on squeezing the working and middle classes with more and more taxation, while giving a free ride for the lazy, the feckless and the poor old migrants.

The only charities I bother with these days are mostly local – either hospices or animal sanctuaries. The main ones can go fuck themselves with an extremely long, spikey cactus!

And if a chugger comes up to me in the street looking for direct debit donations, I will tell them “I’m already a donor: I’m a fucking taxpayer and have paid many thousands into the country. Enough is enough!”

Third Sector News Link

Ben Wallace, a Major cunt, a snot gobbling twat as Defence Minister.

Wallace has been in a bit of bother in his constituency of late, and to add to the argument to cunt this mother fucker comes this.!
A recent announcement from Wallace that the Appledore Shipbuilders ( N Devon ) have been awarded a Naval Contract worth 1.8 billion to build 3 Naval support ships!

Bollocks! The contract is to a venture with Harland and Wolf ( Belfast) who will build some of the contract. OK fine, but that is not what was clearly stated in the original release in the Bideford P5ress. However i digress!

The Major part of the deal ( 1 Billion ) will be going to Spain ! Yes Fucking SPAIN ! ( The twats who sent an Armada here in an attempt to conquer us, have been awarded the Lions share f the contract ).

The drizzle of our money benefitting the EU sacred cow.

Wallace is a cunt ! There are no two ways about this. Appledore Shipbuilders and Harland and Wolf could have shared the contract.! I smell EU and Manilla about the whole fucking issue.

A Minister of Defence lining the pockets of the EU and Spain and a Navy dept that gets ships built by “Johnny Foreigner” is a big fucking no no.

Wallace ,yer a cunt !

https://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/23131552.wirral-mp-blasts-government-decision-navy-supply-ships/ (Link kindly supplied by Komodo)

Nominated by : Ferrars Hall

Some will regard me as a cunt for nominating this cunt, who had the misfortune to lose her sight some years ag, but she is an “influencer” (a polite term for ponce who uses their looks and their chutzpah to get free stuff to boost to the skies on the internet, and if they don’t get it will leave bitchy negative comments on their site.

Miss Edwards is the face of a brand of shampoo:

Daily Fail Link.

It is her gurning face and little girl voice that boils my piss, in addition to being so self absorbed and narcissistic. “Being blind” she says in her 10 year old voice, she then goes on to describe the perils of other brands of the same thing (the ones that haven’t paid her to be their “influencer”). It is that irritating voice and the faces she pulls, looking for all the world as if she had just entered the lavatory cubicle that Dame Kweer has just left, with the odour of his expenses lunch and the ointment he has just applied to calm his grapes of wrath at their height, and at their most malodorous (like Kenneth Williams advised in Carry On Spying to “give it a minute”), she barged straight in and her screwed up face shows the young lady failed to take that sage advice.

Lucy, dear, confine yourself to your website and stay off TV. She is a ginger nut with a flabby face as well to make things worse Pantene should hire lovely Lisa Nandy, stripped and under the shower as we see her apply their unction. Widescreen and HD of course.

Nominated by : W.C. Boggs

A good solid cunting please for the Royal Mail again.

This militant bunch of bastards aren’t striking for themselves you know – but for us (as I was informed by the local picket line today, when trying to collect a parcel). The only noticeable difference today was being fucked outside the depot, rather than in it.

Yesterday the postman on our business estate came with all his parcel cards pre written – didn’t even attempt to deliver and put through cards, meaning no bugger can get anything until Friday and he fucked off home early.

Gone are the days when Postman Pat waded through 30ft of snow to deliver a letter – he’s probably out on some picket line somewhere, having run out of women to nob in Greendale.

Let’s hope they all end up redundant and have to go to the Jobcentre – only to find that is on strike too.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: The Bald Eagle v2