Box ticking in government agencies.

A car is parked across the road from our house. It has been there for a couple of weeks and does not move. The rear off-side tyre is flat. Today I investigated and found that it is declared SORN and its last MOT expired in May 2022. I phoned local plod on 101 and worked my way through menus and sub menus until I was starting to lose the will to live. Eventually told I was in a queue to be answered of a length where I was afraid I might be dead before someone picked up my call.

I decided as I would shortly be driving past the cop-shop I would report it in person so I hung up the phone. In the cop-shop was rewarded with total disinterest. Told that if the car was driven and picked up on an ANPR camera they would take action. Reported the car to the local authority as an abandoned vehicle. They responded that they would not act until the car had been there for at least three weeks and that it was legal to park a car which had no MOT on the public highway. That is flat not true.

Shortly afterwards I had an email from them saying they were very pleased to report the problem had been resolved and not to reply to this message as it was from an unmonitored email account! You couldn’t make it up. I have now reported it to the DVLA who have stated that they will look into it but I won’t hear back details of any action taken.

Without doubt these organisations will each publish stats showing a problem satisfactorily resolved.

Sorry I can’t think of an appropriate link but if a fellow cunter can supply such I would be grateful.

Nominated by : arfurbrain.

Chatgpt is a cunt. Biased as fuck, too.

I decided to give it a whirl. Write me a poem about how good Brexit is, I asked. The response was a fairly long lecture about how chatgpt is unbiased, how it couldn’t possibly write anything good about Brexit because opinion is split and there are negatives as well as positives, etc. Ok, I thought – write me a poem about how bad Brexit is. This time I got a couple of paragraphs of shitty teenage poetry waxing lyrical about the EU, and how Brexit was awful.

Then I decided to give it a second chance. I asked it to write a poem about the Tories, and then one about the Labour party.

The Tories were “the voice of the elite, the ones with power and deceit, who care for their own and not the rest, and see society as a test” by bringing “austerity and cuts and poverty [and] broken promises and hypocrisy”.

Labour? They were striving “for a world where all can thrive, with compassion and empathy at their core” and seeking”to build a world that’s not strange, to heal the wounds of the past”. The poem concluded that Labour had a “vision [that] is true [and] a future… meant for me and you.”

Seriously, this could have been written by Owen Jones while he was fingering Polly Toynbee. Chatgpt? Biased lefty cunt.

https://www.techradar.com/news/chatgpt-explained
(If you give a shit, this is what all the noise is about – NA)

Nominated by : Le Cunt Noir

Miles Plastic also warned us with this:

AI

It turns out that they’re a but cuntish. When asked some questions they reveal themselves to be not very nice.

Data was put in about a relationship and the Cunt started ‘manipulating’ the situation so they should split .

I mean they seem to be developing bad personalities.

As AI develops I mean. Which it is at an exponential rate.

That’s why Elon Musk is calling for a halt.

As I say there are signs that these ‘intelligent robots’ are twats. Or potential twats.

The nightmare vision of Science Fiction is almost upon us.

Remember ‘Hal’ in 2001? Arthur C. Clarke was very accurate in his predictions.

‘Bladerunner’ comes to mind.

So pandemics, nuclear war and now the cherry on the top humanity destroyed but Artificial Intelligence.

Popular Mechanics Link.

We all know the overall theme, an atrocity happens and Al Beeb and the quislings at Westminster say the same thing; “Islam is the religion of peace etc”. I’m not sure any of them have actually been to an Islamic country, I’ve only been to The Maldives and The UAE (very moderate) and the hostility is palpable, ruled by fear not by respect. However, two things in the past two weeks have alarmed me at their brazenness and utter disregard for the English way of life:

1) Trafalgar Square resembling the centre of any city under a caliphate.
https://www.london.gov.uk/events/eid-square-2023

2) Magdalen College in Oxford University substituting a traditional St George’s Day banquet to instead hold an event to celebrate Eid (last day of Ramadan). Doubtless the vino will not flow and it will be a drab affair.
Telegraph Link.

What I find odd to do you can bet your bottom dollar all the supporters of this will be indigenous people who are atheists and lamblast Christianity, but will support this. Even more ludicrous is the Muslim population of the U.K. made up 6.5% of the population two years ago. I sincerely look forward to a political party that supports the taxpayer and the English people sooner rather than later, or Colonel Gadaffi’s prediction “ “We have 50 million Muslims in Europe. There are signs that Allah will grant Islam victory in Europe—without swords, without guns, without conquest—will turn it into a Muslim continent within a few decades.” Will come true.

I despise the cunts in charge of this country.

Nominated by : Fortress Cuntimus

Football legend Bobby Robson once described Paul Gascoigne as ‘daft as a brush’. No doubt the former footy star has done a lot of daft things over the years, and his latest effort has left him looking like a bit of a wally.

On new Channel 4 shit show ‘Scared of the Dark’, hosted by entertainment giant Danny ‘The Geezer’ Dyer, Gazza told an anecdote which frankly, left me feeling a little bemused.

Gazza related how on a visit to Downing Street back in the day, he’d given Maggie Thatcher a hug. Okay, nothing earth shattering there, you might think. However he then went on to relate how the experience gave him a boner, and he had to retreat to the toilet ‘to whack one out’.

Now let’s be fair; Big Mags was a giant on the political scene in post-war Britain, but she was no Susan Boyle when it comes to getting cocks twitching. Well to each his own, I suppose, but then as for going on national tv and relating the incident, I’d have to say ‘bloody cringeworthy Gazza’.

So is he a bigger cunt for getting the horn for Mrs T, or for going on the goggle box to relate the story? Bit of both I’d say, bit of both.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Well, the fragrant “Miss” Mulvaney has hit the headlines again.

The failed actor, who decided to chart his ‘journey’ into girl hood, by primping, pouting and posturing in a series of clips that leave most females either howling with laughter, or vomiting in disgust, has got the makers of Bud Light into bother with a shrieking, squealing post that has most people cringing.

Wishes he had a cunt. (If he wants to see a cunt, he should buy a mirror – NA)

Fox News Link.

NBC News Link. YouTube Link.
(Extra links from our ‘fizzy chemically infused water’ reporter, Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest