It’s idiosyncratic I know, but there’s just something about commemorations that get right on my tits.

There are just so many of the fuckers. Okay, I realise that a lot are very well-meaning; they aim to draw attention to, and promote action on, a whole range of important topics, from numeracy and literacy, to fighting diseases such as cancer and strokes, to world overpopulation, to remembering our armed services. It’s a saturated market though, and I for one just blank out from it all. Take the issue of sanitation in the third world, for example. When were you last galvanised into action as a result of World Toilet Day?

What really gets my goat however is the sheer irritating pointlessness of some of these celebrations. I give you Teddy Bears’ Picnic Day, World Emoji Day, Tattoo Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day, Star Trek Day, Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day… Anybody planning to ‘come out’ on Coming Out Day? Anybody know anybody who’s ‘come out’ on Coming Out Day? And don’t any cunt mention World Bicycle Day, or I may spontaneously combust.

Then you’ve got commemorative weeks. It feels as though we really need the likes of National Chip Week, National Homoeopathy Week and Curry Week in our lives.

Then (oh Lord) we’ve got the months. Whole fucking months to ‘celebrate’ Veggies, Vegans, Mustaches, Black History, and Pride. Yeah, get your LGBTQXYZ rainbow flags out everybody, and insist that MAPs get added to the alphabet community, they’re so marginalised and misunderstood.

Believe it or not, we actually just celebrated National Bikini Day. That’s right, a day to celebrate bikinis. Don’t believe me? Well, take a look;

Daily Fail Link.

Er, hang on a mo, I could definitely spring into action for this event. Lordy, but International Masturbation Day on the 28th May suddenly seems like a hell of a long way off…

Nominated by : Ron Knee

is a cunt.

The BBC reports young children and adults alike are walking down the middle of a busy carriageway, instead of sticking to the pavement. Why? They prefer dodging cars, ingesting copious amounts of exhaust and the odd tire track across the back of a favourite coat to simply walking along a path to school.

A village parish councillor(massive cunt) spotted some wild Hemlock growing along the side of the road(as it always has. It can also be viewed in woodland, riverbanks and waste ground) and backed up by the head teacher, who wouldn’t look out of place at any Eco/Pride/Just stop oil protest or a wet lettuce competition have decided children’s lives are at stake walking past it.

Maybe it’s just me, but I myself or any of my kids or anyone else that I know or have seen had a habit of eating plants from the side of the road when walking to school.
Thanks for the warning BBC-never been a problem, but now I guess watch out..and try not to nibble any!

Bbc news

Nominated by Bob Highland.

People who do CrossFit really are some of the most insufferable cunts going.

I have lost good friends of many years to this pile of dog shit nonsense, like they have joined some religious cult and suddenly start thinking totally differently and talking another language. I don’t want hear about your CrossFit family, CrossFit community and it’s a way of life crap. Get a fucking grip.

No wonder they all hang out together outside the gym, sorry ‘box’, because no one else wants to suffer the displeasure of their company for more than ten seconds.

They never shut up about it either. I don’t give a shit about how many burpees you can do, I don’t even know what one is, or some phoney completion you have coming up. Constantly wearing their injuries like some badge of honour. It’s not clever, you are talking like a moron and starting look like one.

Bunch of narcissistic roid heads is what they. Go find a real sport to do because you frankly look ridiculous.

Nominated by : Manner of all Cunts

Lana Bel End is a cunt

This tuneless hipster bint turned up late for her set at Glastonbury, and then the set wasn’t finished as the plug was pulled. Now, I’m no fan of ‘Glasto’, but if some cunt has paid silly money to see someone, they should get their moneys worth.

Also, this silly cow knew when she was going to be on, so why wasn’t she there well in advance like any proper professional artist would be? She’s just some rich kid with loaded parents who is playing at being a singer (well she thinks breathing into a microphone is singing) and her arrogance and unprofessionalism is taking the piss out of those stupid enough to be a fan of this tart.

Naturally, as she is a hipster woke favourite, she is getting off lightly (just like she did for that rape video). Imagine the stick Guns ‘N’ Roses would have got if they had turned up late?

BBC News Link.

Nominated by : Norman