Hemlock

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is a cunt.

The BBC reports young children and adults alike are walking down the middle of a busy carriageway, instead of sticking to the pavement. Why? They prefer dodging cars, ingesting copious amounts of exhaust and the odd tire track across the back of a favourite coat to simply walking along a path to school.

A village parish councillor(massive cunt) spotted some wild Hemlock growing along the side of the road(as it always has. It can also be viewed in woodland, riverbanks and waste ground) and backed up by the head teacher, who wouldn’t look out of place at any Eco/Pride/Just stop oil protest or a wet lettuce competition have decided children’s lives are at stake walking past it.

Maybe it’s just me, but I myself or any of my kids or anyone else that I know or have seen had a habit of eating plants from the side of the road when walking to school.
Thanks for the warning BBC-never been a problem, but now I guess watch out..and try not to nibble any!

Bbc news

Nominated by Bob Highland.

106 thoughts on “Hemlock”

  1. I suppose it’s definitely Hemlock, not Fools Parsley? Though Hemlock comes out in July, Fools Parsley in April. Worth getting an expert to look at it. Must admit though we did teach our kids not to eat random stuff found outside in the street same as we taught them to look both ways when they crossed the road.

  2. I sprinkle hemlock, death cap and belladonna on my cornflakes every morning and swill it all down with a glass of potassium cyanide. Never done me any harm.

    • Are you sure you’re still drinking potassium cyanide solution Geordie? KCN turns into K2CO3 left out in the air. Potassium carbonate is deliquescent and harmless. Best to use fresh, dry KCN when it looks just like sugar and you could sprinkle it on your cornflakes.

      • Thank you for the chemistry lesson arfur, but I’m not sure about your suggestion. You see I’m also partial to sodium chlorate weedkiller and I might accidentally use sugar instead of KCN and go off with a bang on lighting up my first tab of the day.
        Can’t be too careful you know.

  3. The dumbing down of society continues, maybe that Anneliese Dodds lookalike headteacher can get back to doing her job.

    Teaching critical race theory and gender studies..
    Anyone eating random roadside vegetation deserves all they get..

  4. It wouldn’t matter what type of plant it was.
    It’s growing out of control, over the footpath and people need to dodge around it.
    Probably more so after rain.

    The people in the village pay their council tax so they have an expectation of clear pavements.

    The council’s excuse for not doing the work that they have been paid for is feeble.

    Sorry, I’m with the parents on this one.

    • That’s not to say that a lesson about the ineptitude of public workers, fear mongering by the media and caution about what can be potentially poisonous when eaten would go amiss.

      But the lefty looking head teacher is probably more interested in promoting gender studies.

    • Finally a sensible comment. Something which is getting rarer and rarer on this site unfortunately.

      • Too right OC. Given that most government departments use this site as their only source of information when setting policy we all have a duty to only make serious well researched comments.

        Too many of the comments on here seem to make comments based on humour or are just venting off.

        It’s not like this site is just a place to vent at the world in general and have a giggle is it?

      • Make sure you use Snopes too, that perfectly sound, non biased, fact checking website before making any comment. No jokes please, jokes always have a target and this is a form of violence. List all your primary academic sources too to back up comments, using Harvard referencing please.

        Only then will I be satisfied.

        Or, if I don’t like the posts on here or the way admin run the site, I could just stop visiting altogether and therefore stop getting so riled up at every bloody comment or nomination?

        Right, I’ve got some time off to watch the Ashes now. Let’s beat those cheating Aussie cunts (please note several members of the Aussie team were part of the team that did cheat by ball tampering in South Africa in recent years, so Steve fucking Smith and co are free to sue my hairy arse any time they fucking like.)

        Good morning.

      • Oh come on OC, lighten up mate! The majority of posts are ironic and in good humour. Far better than the ranting on Twitter, Facebook etc.

      • If the comments on Is-a-cunt become sensible then I for one won’t bother with it any more.

      • They used to be Arfur but I dunno, I just think things have turned toxic over recent months and that makes me sad. I dunno if I’ve changed or the site has changed but it’s just the feeling I get.

      • Twitter’s a whinge-fest. No great improvement since Musk took over. Same wet cunts with flags and rainbows next to their names, blaming everything on Tories.

        Zzzz..

  5. All refugees washing up on our shores should be fed Hemlock salads.

    Also, wouldn’t trust that headteacher near my kids. Looks more like a character from Mad Max than someone who should be teaching children.

  6. There are a lot more dangerous things about going to school than some dodgy plants at the side of the road. Coming out a fa**ot or a trannie at the other end is one of them. Nobody calls eating wild plants stunning and brave because it fucking ain’t.

    • Tell you what Freddie, if one of my kids “came out” I’d fcking stun them lol

  7. Castor weed, Oleander and Trumpet flower are common here and rather deadly, but I’m not daft enough to shove it down my gob. More tea Vicar?

      • Deadly nightshade – nice purple, sweet juicy berries.

        Probably would taste delicious in a smoothie made with fresh milk and a handful of liquidised hemlock flowers.

    • Just out of interest……

      Do the kids in the more rural areas get taught in school how to recognise poisonous snakes and spiders?

      • Yes, in the town and country kids are taught to recognise venomous beasties like Redback spiders and Tiger snakes and to leave them be.Or at least it was when I was at school in the long ago. Common sense really.

      • Morning Shacks👍
        In Oz it’d be good practice for kids to learn that sort of stuff!

        Not any venomous beasties really in the UK,
        Unless you count adders.
        Fiddler used to have problems with adders near the hounds I seem to remember?

      • Oz seems a great place to live apart from all the shit that can kill you.

        Fancy a swim in the ocean? Shark will eat you.

        Go for a shite? A poisonous spider will bite your ringpiece.

        The list goes on.

        Too much weird looking shite for my liking. Spiders, snakes, Platypuses, kangaroos, Steve Smith…

      • Don’t forget the Aborígenes.

        They will fucking scare you.

        There can’t be an uglier race on earth.
        No wonder that they are all alcoholics.

      • I saw an Adder once, I nearly cried, thought that just seeing would kill me.
        I immediately called the police to have the entire area sealed off.

      • Adder? It was Carol Vorderman.

        Don’t blame him. She’s a right fucking freak nowadays.

      • I don’t think Britain has Poisonous spiders.

        False widows?

        More something Shackledragger and my bogan relatives should worry about.

  8. Like Artful I’m with the parents. The stuff is literally growing across the pavement and simply making contact with it can also be harmful. Once again it’s another post where very little critical thinking has been utilised.

    • Whoop whoop it’s da sound of da fun police!
      Quick, everybody be dour and miserable and only post serious resonses, full of gravitas on a site called “Is-a-cunt’.
      Ffs, wouldn’t you be happier elsewhere, OC?
      I’m not trying to be a cunt to you but you genuinely don’t seem to enjoy it here.

      • That’s just the frivolous attitude we’ve come to expect from you Thomas.

        Everythings a big joke.

        Well for your information Hemlocks have mauled and even killed hundreds of people over the years

        They’re highly territorial
        Can move at speeds of 30mph
        And can kill a man easily with just one swipe..

        Hold on, no sorry!
        I’m getting it confused with grizzly bears!

        But think on

      • You’re name will be added to ze list Mr Cunt Engine.

        Miserable has COTY immunity until he is either dethroned at the end of the year or retains his title and continues his reign of terror.

      • Triffids, Mis’. Triffids

        Holly Willoughby, falling tits first into a triffid.

  9. Can’t risk the kids getting hurt on the way to school, they’d miss out on their anal lessons.

    Priorities people!

  10. I’m surprised the BBC has time to issue these warnings given the love in for the expired IRA supporting , ex. Catholic , dead peaceful, Skinhead O Connor, that seems to be occurring on their website

    The 5th columnist cunts

    • Indeed. It’s not even like it’s a shock is it?
      The only surprise is she lasted this long.

  11. Well thank heavens these precious parents and kids weren’t about in the 70s and 80s.

    When dog-shit was more common than a dinghy raider, the bovine cunts would be chowing down brown snacks on every trip to school.

    • My old Dad had a scar on his head. I never thought much of it as you don’t with your parents. However, I asked him once how he got it. Apparently in his youth in Wallsend, there were regular fights with kids in other streets. The weapon of choice was a half-brick, which found my Dad’s head. No doubt he would have got a bollocking off his Mam and Dad.

      • When I was growing up in Wallsend the weapon of choice was a whole brick Lord C. Your Dad must have been from the posh end of the town.

      • My Nan, his Mum, got moved to some flats on the Coast Road (for years I thought it was the Coost Rood). They were in the Likely Lads film. Considered luxury at the time – now demolished.

      • Everyone remembers them well – 3 blocks known locally as ‘Fourteen Stories’ for obvious reasons. Weren’t they unusual in each flat being on two floors?

      • Correct – they were like maisonettes as you could go upstairs to bed. Very well appointed for the 70s I suppose and far superiro to the back-to-backs she was living in. Communal laundry room, appliances. However, they began to suffer the usual. Broken lifts, wrong people being moved in, etc.. I think the final straw was when her next door neighbour was lumping a stolen industrial air compressor through his door.

      • When I was a bastard student in Manc, my flat share on John Nash Crescent was on two floors. Deck access, blocked rubbish chutes, piss-stinking lifts, vomiting bagheads, packs of feral hounds. Fucking heaven for only £12 a week, and named after one Britain’s greatest architects. The irony…

  12. So the parents, teachers and other locals don’t have the ability to get together with some bin bags and a strimmer to sort it out themselves?

    What a bunch of useless ‘adults’.

    If they’re that pissed off with the council, just drop the bin bags full of clippings in the council office lobby as a protest.

    • When I was a kid if we had hemlock growing near the school my first thought would be making a potion for blow darts and how to get it into the teachers coffee.

      Typical of modern kids.
      They just wet the bed in terror.

  14. Only poison they should worry about is the poison rhey are Brainwashing kids with.

    • Morning HJ…I trust the timely passing of Skinhead O’ Conner hasn’t upset you too much?
      I’m planning a trip to the mortuary later, maybe have a quick go on Sinead before the Coroner comes along and h̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ performs the autopsy.

      • Now then now then TTCE, you are national treasure Sir James Savile reincarnate and I claim my Havana cigar.

  16. At risk of bringing down the mood/tone of this nomination, I’d point out that a few years ago I was having suicidal ideations and was researching different methods including poison Hemlock.

    I spent numerous weekend days in May and June driving around the countryside and walking around local areas along the River Severn to locate Hemlock (has certain visible traits which distinguish it from other members of the same family like Cow Parsley) and I couldn’t find a single bit of it because in many cases, local authorities remove and destroy it.

    If Hemlock is being found near this school along the side of the road, then that means the local council and environmental authorities in the area are not doing their fucking job….. standard civil servants then I guess.

    • ‘If Hemlock is being found near this school along the side of the road, then that means the local council and environmental authorities in the area are not doing their fucking job’

      Or maybe….

      They are.

      Hope you’re doing better these days, TITS.
      I suffered with obsessive thoughts that skimmed the suicidal abyss several years ago. Very hard to rationalise why and how and to explain to people who’ve never had them. Not a nice ailment.

      Luckily I seem to have come to grips with that.

      • Same here. I don’t get those thoughts anymore…. at least not to the same obsessive extent. I’m not afraid of death; I’m just afraid of dying and there are very few quick, painless ways to go.

  17. Hemlock is fucking dangerous. Just ask Socrates. It is easy to spot if schoolkids have been taking it, they are slowly paralysed and death can follow if the hemlock is not purged. A bit like drinking too much cider.

    The solution is to set light to the whole of Suffolk to ensure everyone is safe from the menace of wild hemlock. Oh, and don’t forget to wash your hands and wear a mask when not sitting down. (See previous BBC bullshit for details).

    Good morning, everyone.

    • ;’A bit like drinking too much cider.’

      I don’t believe in such a concept.

  18. Fucking idiots, all of them. Any twat (or parent of brat) that thinks it’s OK to eat randomly growing plants out of the side of the road, ought not to be let out the house (unless a nice bit of de ‘erb – rizzlas please!).

    In fact most of these wokey snowflakes should never leave the house – poor little bumkins.

    • Noticed on ISAC that a lot of people have had thoughts of suicide?
      Or plans for suicide?

      Has it always been like that or since I came?
      😁

      Cheer the fuck up you bunch of Morrissey’s!!

      • Fuck off and drink your Hemlock Tea! Don’t return until you’ve applied some critical thinking.

        Some people undermine the purpose of this site and eliminate any chance of deep and meaningful conversations.

        Tut

      • Aye.

        Here’s a thought for you Suicidal Sid types.

        If you outlive Gary Lineker, you will get the chance to dance on his grave.

      • Drinks are on me CB I will arrange a ISAC party with a free bar when that insufferable cunt carks it.
        Preferably in a most violent way..

      • If you’ve never even thought of suicide, you’ve lived either a charmed – or insular- life.

      • I must be charmed then!
        Never thought about it.

        Murder yes, most days!
        But suicide never.

      • I’m chill man – used to smoke a lot of the mary jane but now my wife has me using CBD oil.

  20. More chance of a turban head endangering a child’s life than some fucking plant yet we’re not removing them cunts anytime soon are we?

    Councillor needs to get his fucking priorities right.

  21. More typical BBC shit this morning.

    Going on about (wait for it) climate change, and how 40 degree Summers are now normal in Britain.

    Errr where? About 12 degrees in Manchester currently and pissing down.

    • Not according to the Met Office temperature sensors at Manchester Airport it won’t be. They’ll have ’em rammed up the tailpipe of one of the Emirates A380 on take off thrust to get just the record temperature data they need for their agenda.

    • What sort of scientific weather forecasting is that?

      Summer in the UK starts on June 21st and ends on September 23rd.

      Average daytime temperatures for that period would probably be no more than 20 degrees.

      An occasional day in August where the temperature gets to 30 does not make it a 30 degree summer.

      Why are they trying to scare you with this shit?

    • It must be the wettest July on record, ‘a months worth of rain in one day’, they love to roll this stuff out.

      It was pissing down earlier, just waiting for next shower oh and it rained yesterday …. fuck I am turning in Eric Olthwaite

    • A thermometer set above ground which is concreted over for a few square miles will probably record fairly high temperatures.

      How about setting the thermometer up over a stream in woodland?

      Good for the English wine industry though so the BBC can get to fuck.

  22. Can’t remember whether I was taught to look and not touch, or it was natural to do so ? I would frown at other kids for meddling with their mitts.

  23. There are more practical lessons they could give the kids.

    Don’t marry your cousin, despite what your family say, because there’s a good chance you’ll have mongy kids. ‘Look at the photos of these fucking freaks kids.’ Massive drain on the NHS and bennies too.

    Won’t ever happen that.

  24. You’re hardly likely to try and eat hemlock. It smells of mice and the stem is discouragingly blotched with purple. An idiot would be more likely to go for the (related) attractive and lethally poisonous rhizomes of hemlock water dropwort. In a ditch near you.

    Round here we have toxic convolvulus in abundance – it’s been a fantastic growing season. There’s no shortage of white bryony, yew and wayfaring tree, either, All of whose tasty looking berries are very poisonous. Laburnum is common in public spaces; its lentil-like seeds are lethal. I haven’t seen jimson weed (datura stramonium, thorn apple) this year, but last year there was a fine specimen of this American import growing in a local field margin. I think the seeds come in with animal feed – it’s now quite common in the UK – and it’s full of atropine alkaloids.

    The sort of cunt who will grab a handful of hemlock and chew it is a ripe candidate for a posthumous Darwin award, and should be allowed to get on with it.

    Just waiting for the fungi, now.

    • Wow, CM! Can’t hardly wait to hear this embryo’s views and take on world news!

      Oops, actually I won’t be able to, as I stopped watching the idiot lantern about a year ago, and get all my up to date news, political or other, from the Man in the Pub or the Woman in the Corner Shop.

      Oh, and ISAC, of course.

    • Afghan immo, and hence beyond criticism or scrutiny. Shame on you.

      That’s a seriously worrying site, btw. Scroll down to find Sly’s latest diversity advisors, one of whom is a cofounder of Black Pride UK, which I have coincidentally just nominated for a cunting. Watch this space.

      • Sky News was sold to Comcast in 2018. Since then it’s become as woke as the BBC. Unwatchable.
        Defund the BBC, if you can.

  27. They had to put up a sign in my local Tescos.
    To stop thick migrant shite eating daffodills. Seriously.

  28. Is there such a thing as an anticunting?

    If so, I nominate Socrates. Died by self inflicted Hemlock overdose, consequent to a show trial by the weaselly self important rulers of Athens.

    Took it like a man and died a martyr to his convictions.

    No wokery, no BS. A truly great human who will outlast any religious figure.

    • Used to love Socrates, me.
      Chain smoking genius footballer with a real doctors degree.

      Zico, Junior, Eder and Falcao were also great.

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