(“Rah, rah, rah! We’re going to smash the oiks!” – Day Admin)

A CHRISTMAS APPEAL ON BEHALF OF
THE DUKE OF NORTHUMBERLAND

Dear cunters,

I realise that during these straightened times it is sometimes difficult to consider the plight of those less fortunate than ourselves. However I would ask you to spare a thought for Ralph, who has fallen on hard times.

Ralph has been forced to struggle by with just Alnwick, Prudhoe and Warkworth Castles, Hulne Park, Albury Park, 100,000 acres of prime Northumbrian farmland, 4,000 acres of forestry and numerous other properties.

What has put him on the breadline, however, is his modest little London pied-a-terre, Syon House and 200 acre Syon Park.

Overlooking the Thames and Kew Gardens, the Adam interior State Rooms are in need of a bit of restoration. So to raise the necessary moolah, Ralph decided boot a few commoners off allotments owned by himself to build 80 flats. Should be good for at least 100 mill he thought, and the allotment holders could always pop off down to Fortnums for their organic endive, broccolini and truffles like all the other little people.

Expecting the local council to tug their forelocks and approve the planning application, sadly Ralph’s plans have been thwarted twice, and he’s facing the indignity of having to sell a Canaletto or two to raise the spondoolies.

Ralph is in desperate need and facing a cost of living crisis. Please give whatever you can afford, either via the BBC’s forthcoming celebrity telethon ‘Aristos In Need’, on Ralph’s GoFundMe page, or by visiting Syon House, where for the £14 entrance fee you can marvel at some of the gear Ralph’s ancestors bought with the money they stole from my ancestors.

For those unable to donate, Ralph has kindly set up a GoFuckYou page.

Thank you for your generosity. God bless you all, and Merry Christmas.

Hexham News

Syon Park

Nominated by: Geordie Twatt

(Perhaps he should invite 500 impoverished boat riders to his humble abodes, All paid for by the Taxpayer! – Day Admin)

Are Cunts.

First time cunting, but this has fucked me off.

The ASA, Toyota, Youtube, and false heater adverts.

Apparently Toyota have had one of their ads pulled, as it showed off road vehicles, being driven off road, without ‘due respect for potential environmental damage’

At the same time, youtube is rammed with horseshit adverts about some mythical heater that can heat any size room in mere seconds, and you incur no significant electricity bill. what a load of wank.

asa.org

Nominated by Eric Cuntman.

Liverpool played Man Utd this afternoon (17/12/23) and ended in a dull 0-0 draw. However, before the game the Man U coach with the United manager and players on-board was attacked with bottles and bricks by alleged Liverpool fans waiting outside the Anfield ground.

None of the Man U staff or the driver were injured, but were clearly shocked by the incident.

Don’t know if the plod made any arrests but Liverpool football club denounced the “fans” for their appalling actions and the usual bollocks.

Some fans went on the defensive suggesting the people that threw the bottles and bricks were not real Liverpool fans but from some other club.

Clearly it won’t be too long before the local media in Scouseland start playing the victim card for the Self-Pity City yet again.

Hopefully the FA or the EPL will get tough and deduct a few points against Liverpool, although I somewhat doubt it.

Anyway, Liverpool fans yet again in the headlines for all the wrong reasons. Arrogant cunts!

BBC News

Nominated by: Technocunt

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells.

Or in this instance the disgusting behaviour of David Fuller who abused corpses of women in Kent and Sussex Hospital and Tunbridge Wells Hospital.

Daily Fail Link.

This necrophiliac carried out his sordid behaviour on more than 100 bodies over a span of 15 years thanks to no-one questioning his abnormal extra curricular visits to the morgue.
To make matters worse, when he ran out of bodies the cunt made his own by murdering two women.

Every so often there’s a cunt who redefines the limits of cuntishness. This sick bastard is one of them.

Nominated by : Duke of Cuntshire

Herbal/fruit teas deserve a cunting.

How did these abominations unto Nuggan even become popular and who out there is actually drinking them?

When I have tea, I want it to taste of tea. I do NOT, under ANY circumstances, want it to taste like a pale imitation of some herb or fruit that I can pick up from my local Co-op.

Nor do I want it to taste like some artificial lemon or peppermint flavour has been mixed with somebody’s bodily fluids.

Come to think of it, I think I would rather drink Eddie Izzard’s jizz than ever have to look at a Twinings berry infusion ever again.(Now there’s an image I can’t unsee! – Day Admin)

For all the people who actually buy this shit, either drink the proper stuff or don’t bother you cunts.

Nominated by: OpinionatedCunt